Insecurities...

I find myself somewhat overencumbered by insecurities at the moment. There's this girl who's a friend of a friend, we hung out with mutual friends a few times, but I've done as little as speak two words to her. If we ever passed each other she'd always smile and wave, but obviously she was just being friendly.

Anyway, on my birthday about a month ago she sent me a Facebook message saying she'd buy me a drink at one of the Uni nights out when we get back, and I said "Yeah that'd be cool", just thinking she was being polite and she replied back "So it's a deal then". Of course I just assumed she was being polite because it was my birthday, but the "it's a deal" did make me wonder ever, ever so slightly (I'm reading too much into it probably, I know), and we barely know each other at all so the message surprised me. We did exchange a few messages and I sent her one but haven't had a reply in about 2 weeks so I dunno.

Anyway, I was looking through her Facebook and saw her in pictures with a bunch of her male mates and I just thought that her male mates were hot, and naturally I couldn't expect her to have any sort of interest in me. I recieved a rather crushing rejection recently, and so my self-esteem is pretty damn low at the moment, and if this girl did like me, or even just was serious about the drink, I think it would pull me out of the lull. She's quite pretty and I'd definitely go for a drink with her (as in, just her and I), and she'd probably help me stop feeling so anxious about my last rejection, not in that she'd be a rebound, but she'd make me feel more secure about myself.

So basically, I wanna know if this is the right way to go:
- At the next Uni night out we're both at, see if she does buy me that drink (I'd feel audacious and kinda silly walking up to her and asking for it, even if that is what is deemed "confidence")
- If she does, maybe get chatting to her, but not too much so as to seem too eager (nor get myself stuck in the "friend zone"), as last time this just pushed her away. Feign a little confidence, maybe try and be a little jokey with her and whatever.
- Maybe buy her a drink too (although would she see this as me trying to "make up" for her buying me a drink)
- Basically establish a precedent so we could meet again and we'd be familiar with each other, but just see how it goes.

I apologise if this all sounds horrifically pathetic, but I do get a great degree of anxiety over things like this. The last girl I was interested in, by her own admission, did lead me on somewhat, and so I was rather crushed when she decided I wasn't tall enough, wasn't strong enough, was "too good of a friend", as she then proceeded to have sex with some younger, better-looking, wealither guy that I couldn't compete with.

Reply 1

Dionysus

Mate you are taking exactly the right approach. You don't want to make yourself look daft but also you can see that you may be in with a chance. Just take it nice and slow and you'll be fine. You're probably better at it than you think you are. Probably a lot smoother than me, anyway lol.

Reply 2

asdasta

Hah, I doubt that last bit mate :P

But cheers anyway.

Reply 3

shaneo632

I'm in a similar situation myself, can't say I go too different, although my experience isn't the best reason to follow my answer ¬_¬

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