Need some advice Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
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#1
So there is this guy at college and I'm almost certain of the fact we like each other, but the problem is neither of us knows how to talk to the other. Whenever we see eachother we make really intense eye contact and he seems genuinely happy to see me, but we never seem to break through the awkward silence. I think the problem is that we've spent so long just making eye contact and silently flirting that it now feels way to awkward to introduce ourselves. Does anyone have any suggestions on what I can do? And guys if you were truly interested in a girl would you really not have broken the silence by now?
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Kiritsugu
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#2
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(Original post by Anonymous)
So there is this guy at college and I'm almost certain of the fact we like each other, but the problem is neither of us knows how to talk to the other. Whenever we see eachother we make really intense eye contact and he seems genuinely happy to see me, but we never seem to break through the awkward silence. I think the problem is that we've spent so long just making eye contact and silently flirting that it now feels way to awkward to introduce ourselves. Does anyone have any suggestions on what I can do? And guys if you were truly interested in a girl would you really not have broken the silence by now?
Seems like the same thing that happened to me. I think eventually, if none of you guys have any further intimacy or contact you'll lose that infatuation or butterflies you both currently probably have. Now, it's hard for me to help it, but there's this girl who goes past me sometimes - we've never talked and I've felt butterflies whenever she goes past for like the past 2-3 years (lol). My body can't stop it, although, I can train my mind, which I've successfully done to some extent, to stop it.

But I didn't say all that so you should stop it. I haven't ever talked to her because I've never really talked much to girls that I have become infatuated with in this way - I think partly due to the fact that I don't talk to much people anyway - I was very shy when I was younger and still am quiet. Now, that girl from the looks of it on social media seems to have a boyfriend - some may say that's a wasted opportunity on my part, but I don't really care, or so I think I don't care. Tbh, I'm probably going to talk to her sometime - just some personal business and nothing else. The reason I'm going to talk to her is because of my personal values and convictions; if I left to university without solving the issue, it might leave me feeling unfulfilled and with a bad taste in my mouth. Furthermore, I've grown a bit out of that bubble and could probably approach anyone now.

I think if you feel there's a connection between you to, and you feel a relationship could work, then try to make some small talk - or big talk, if that's your style - whatever the case is, just have a friendly chat and make sure to be yourself. When you do be yourself, perhaps just be a bit more different with that guy because then he might notice and might return the sentiment in some way, that, perhaps would not be discernible to you or it might be plain obvious.

What I'm saying is, from personal experience, not saying anything will get no one anywhere.

I think it's interesting that you said that you guys have 'silently flirt[ed]' and I wonder what you mean by that? Search google for something like "How to approach a boy you've had a crush on for a long time" or something like that you'll definitely find some good stuff.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Kiritsugu)
Seems like the same thing that happened to me. I think eventually, if none of you guys have any further intimacy or contact you'll lose that infatuation or butterflies you both currently probably have. Now, it's hard for me to help it, but there's this girl who goes past me sometimes - we've never talked and I've felt butterflies whenever she goes past for like the past 2-3 years (lol). My body can't stop it, although, I can train my mind, which I've successfully done to some extent, to stop it.

But I didn't say all that so you should stop it. I haven't ever talked to her because I've never really talked much to girls that I have become infatuated with in this way - I think partly due to the fact that I don't talk to much people anyway - I was very shy when I was younger and still am quiet. Now, that girl from the looks of it on social media seems to have a boyfriend - some may say that's a wasted opportunity on my part, but I don't really care, or so I think I don't care. Tbh, I'm probably going to talk to her sometime - just some personal business and nothing else. The reason I'm going to talk to her is because of my personal values and convictions; if I left to university without solving the issue, it might leave me feeling unfulfilled and with a bad taste in my mouth. Furthermore, I've grown a bit out of that bubble and could probably approach anyone now.

I think if you feel there's a connection between you to, and you feel a relationship could work, then try to make some small talk - or big talk, if that's your style - whatever the case is, just have a friendly chat and make sure to be yourself. When you do be yourself, perhaps just be a bit more different with that guy because then he might notice and might return the sentiment in some way, that, perhaps would not be discernible to you or it might be plain obvious.

What I'm saying is, from personal experience, not saying anything will get no one anywhere.

I think it's interesting that you said that you guys have 'silently flirt[ed]' and I wonder what you mean by that? Search google for something like "How to approach a boy you've had a crush on for a long time" or something like that you'll definitely find some good stuff.
Thanks! I just feel really awkward about making a move because I never have before. When I say silently flirting I just mean that the eye contact can be pretty flirty like quite passionate and checking each other out a lot. This has been going on for such a long time now and I really want to know what would happen if we weren't as awkward
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Kiritsugu
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Thanks! I just feel really awkward about making a move because I never have before. When I say silently flirting I just mean that the eye contact can be pretty flirty like quite passionate and checking each other out a lot. This has been going on for such a long time now and I really want to know what would happen if we weren't as awkward
What action(s) do you think you would be willing to take?

People often say, the guy should make the first move. But is that really necessary? That's a question for the wider audience. Nevertheless, why should we have to follow what the "norm" is? By being different, we can express ourselves better. If we're going to be different, we'll need to think more carefully about what we're doing. People who just follow a crowd, like me cause that's my fundamental nature, often don't think of the consequences beforehand. Keep in mind, consequences can be good results.

What will your action be and what will its result be? There's only one, and only one, way to find out...!
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Kiritsugu)
What action(s) do you think you would be willing to take?

People often say, the guy should make the first move. But is that really necessary? That's a question for the wider audience. Nevertheless, why should we have to follow what the "norm" is? By being different, we can express ourselves better. If we're going to be different, we'll need to think more carefully about what we're doing. People who just follow a crowd, like me cause that's my fundamental nature, often don't think of the consequences beforehand. Keep in mind, consequences can be good results.

What will your action be and what will its result be? There's only one, and only one, way to find out...!
I'm not sure what to do! I tried making a sort of move a couple of weeks ago and he kinda freaked out about it ! I just don't know what to do about it sometimes he looks really happy and flirts with his eyes with me then others he looks really sad when he makes eye contact with me. I'm not too bothered by the tradition of guys having to ask girls out but I just don't know what to say to him and I'm just not sure he would be happy about me doing anything
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Anonymous #2
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#6
(Original post by Anonymous)
I'm not sure what to do! I tried making a sort of move a couple of weeks ago and he kinda freaked out about it ! I just don't know what to do about it sometimes he looks really happy and flirts with his eyes with me then others he looks really sad when he makes eye contact with me. I'm not too bothered by the tradition of guys having to ask girls out but I just don't know what to say to him and I'm just not sure he would be happy about me doing anything
I think I'm in a similar position (I'm the guy), and from what you've said, he almost certainly likes you. If he looks sad it's probably because he regrets not making more of a move. I think it's very unlikely that he'll be unhappy if you go up to him, but I know that can be difficult to do if you don't know for certain (it works the other way round too!). The time it takes someone to strike up a conversation doesn't tell you how much they fancy you, just what kind of personality they are.

It might help if we knew how long you've known him for, and how often you see him around college. Do you have friends who might know him- or another way to get in contact?
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I think I'm in a similar position (I'm the guy), and from what you've said, he almost certainly likes you. If he looks sad it's probably because he regrets not making more of a move. I think it's very unlikely that he'll be unhappy if you go up to him, but I know that can be difficult to do if you don't know for certain (it works the other way round too!). The time it takes someone to strike up a conversation doesn't tell you how much they fancy you, just what kind of personality they are.

It might help if we knew how long you've known him for, and how often you see him around college. Do you have friends who might know him- or another way to get in contact?
I probably see him about 3 times a week and I've known him for over 3 years. We don't really have any mutual friends at all. I feel like we do both like eachother and are wasting an opportunity but I just don't know how to make anything happen
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ward47
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(Original post by Anonymous)
So there is this guy at college and I'm almost certain of the fact we like each other, but the problem is neither of us knows how to talk to the other. Whenever we see eachother we make really intense eye contact and he seems genuinely happy to see me, but we never seem to break through the awkward silence. I think the problem is that we've spent so long just making eye contact and silently flirting that it now feels way to awkward to introduce ourselves. Does anyone have any suggestions on what I can do? And guys if you were truly interested in a girl would you really not have broken the silence by now?
i would say just go for it I mean if there really is a connection there then thats great if not a least youve broken the silence and you guys might even become great freinds even if nothing more comes of it but dont just let the oppertunity pass because otherwise you will likley regret it. plus, i dont no about any other guys but i really like it when a girl is willing to make the first move it shows that their interested.
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Retired_Messiah
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Yeah try and say at least something. The first couple of conversations might be a bit awkward in places and not necessarily interesting but if you can both successfully start talking about banal trash you should eventually be able to progress to something actually meaningful if your personalities are in any way compatible.
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Kiritsugu
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I'm not sure what to do! I tried making a sort of move a couple of weeks ago and he kinda freaked out about it ! I just don't know what to do about it sometimes he looks really happy and flirts with his eyes with me then others he looks really sad when he makes eye contact with me. I'm not too bothered by the tradition of guys having to ask girls out but I just don't know what to say to him and I'm just not sure he would be happy about me doing anything
Won't know until you try, that's the whole point of trying. If there is a connection, then positive results shall eventually surface. To make the best out of the situation, research more about relationships and stuff. Maybe casually ask him to go to a movie or something with you.
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