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returnofdamoni
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I'm trying to make friends with a group of people. I've made a few topics about it - the group invited me to join them btw. At the same time, they made friends with another guy. He seems to be closer to them. I'm shy and I don't speak to them as/ that much - obviously, that's my first problem, as a result, I'm having trouble connecting with them the way he is. He's able to joke around with them, talk to them about anything.
The group, whilst sometimes inviting me to join them, all have each others phone numbers. They haven't asked for mine.
I can see why they like him more, rather than the socially awkward, shy guy in the group. But how do I get to the same level he is? It's harder than just doing the stuff he does - it seems difficult - I don't know how. My mind goes blank, I can't relax.
I seem to be losing them, I feel a bit left out. I really think, that they somewhat like me, they see me in a bit of an awkward way, whilst my shyness might make me invisible half the time. It might be only a matter of time, before I'm phased out.
Any advice or tips would be greatly appreciated.
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liv624
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hi, firstly you shouldn't be comparing yourself to other people and making yourself feel bad about it - it's okay to be less confident than others. if you are feeling left out then you should definitely speak to them about it and be honest (cliche, but true - honesty is the best policy, especially in friendships and relationships)! if telling the entire groupchat something personal like how you feel seems way too difficult or scary, maybe you could just speak to one of the people in the group (you might find that easier given that you've described yourself as shy or socially awkward).
sometimes you just have to stop overthinking and over-analysing things like what you're going to say or do and be more natural about it! relax and get involved with them as much as you can
however if you feel like they're treating you badly or unfairly then i would suggest you either confront them or find yourself a more accepting and open group of friends to talk to! hope i helped at least a little bit!
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by returnofdamoni)
I'm trying to make friends with a group of people. I've made a few topics about it - the group invited me to join them btw. At the same time, they made friends with another guy. He seems to be closer to them. I'm shy and I don't speak to them as/ that much - obviously, that's my first problem, as a result, I'm having trouble connecting with them the way he is. He's able to joke around with them, talk to them about anything.
The group, whilst sometimes inviting me to join them, all have each others phone numbers. They haven't asked for mine.
I can see why they like him more, rather than the socially awkward, shy guy in the group. But how do I get to the same level he is? It's harder than just doing the stuff he does - it seems difficult - I don't know how. My mind goes blank, I can't relax.
I seem to be losing them, I feel a bit left out. I really think, that they somewhat like me, they see me in a bit of an awkward way, whilst my shyness might make me invisible half the time. It might be only a matter of time, before I'm phased out.
Any advice or tips would be greatly appreciated.
I can totally relate to you, I was sort of in this situation a few months ago but I didn't have any competition lol, I had just found a group of friends but didn't seem to be connecting with many of them very well.
After a while I just gave up on trying to be comfortable around them as I realised it wasn't working and found myself a new group of friends. This group I could be myself around and found I could connect with them more easily. So maybe you should try to find yourself some new friends. Some people you might find it harder to connect with, but with the odd few you will just click with. Talk to more people and see if this happens.
If you still want to be friends with them, maybe stop trying so hard? Include yourself in conversations but don't put as much pressure on yourself and don't try to be like the other guy bc you have good qualities he doesn't and vice versa.
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