Turn on thread page Beta

Opinions on using tinder watch

    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    I'm a 20 year old guy who's in his second year of uni. I can be quite shy nad don't have much self confidence. I've been told I'm quite good looking but I don't think I am. Anyway the only 2 girls I've ever asked out said no and I don't really have the opportunity to met anyone new for a while so a friend suggested I join tinder but I'm not so sure. I'm quite paranoid that I'll see people I know on there but I don't really want many people to know I'm on it. I always thought it is seen as quite desperate to use tinder but now I'm not so sure. What are your opinions on using tinder for a relationship and do you think I should join?
    Offline

    12
    ReputationRep:
    If you only care about what your mates think about you then you're always going to be shy and you'll miss opportunities to ask people out.
    Go for it, if you see someone you know then so what? They're doing the exact same thing you are.
    Offline

    20
    ReputationRep:
    I suppose it could be useful for increasing your confidence with the 'dates' you arranged with it, but I think it is ill suited for finding a girlfriend proper. Most people on it seem to be looking for casual sex or are already married/in relationships and want something on the side. It's all a bit skeezy, from what I see but that's just my slightly old-fashioned opinion.
    Offline

    12
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm a 20 year old guy who's in his second year of uni...I've been told I'm quite good looking...
    Me in a nutshell. I rarely get matches on Tinder, much less anyone who responds to me.

    Waste of time. Better yourself.
    • TSR Support Team
    Offline

    19
    ReputationRep:
    TSR Support Team
    I have used it before but I don't think it is ideal for a relationship.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Rock Fan)
    I have used it before but I don't think it is ideal for a relationship.
    (Original post by Angry Bird)
    tinder is bull5h1t
    See this is what I was thinking but surely there must be some decent people on there right?
    Offline

    20
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    See this is what I was thinking but surely there must be some decent people on there right?
    If you're looking for a relationship then Tinder isn't really ideal mainly because everyone seems to want sex on it. You'd be better off joining a society or something if you're at uni.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by MrsSheldonCooper)
    If you're looking for a relationship then Tinder isn't really ideal mainly because everyone seems to want sex on it. You'd be better off joining a society or something if you're at uni.
    Yeah I joined a society but the only person I met there that I liked practically rejected me when I asked her out for a drink so there won't really be much opportunity for me to meet new people for a while
    Offline

    20
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Yeah I joined a society but the only person I met there that I liked practically rejected me when I asked her out for a drink so there won't really be much opportunity for me to meet new people for a while
    Join another society and volunteer? Take up a new sport?
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by MrsSheldonCooper)
    Join another society and volunteer? Take up a new sport?
    Not many of the societies interest me and I think it's probably a bit late to join now anyway and I do a sport so I don't really have the time for another
    Offline

    20
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Not many of the societies interest me and I think it's probably a bit late to join now anyway and I do a sport so I don't really have the time for another
    Well how badly do you want a gf? Sometimes you can end up finding someone when you least expect it.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by MrsSheldonCooper)
    Well how badly do you want a gf? Sometimes you can end up finding someone when you least expect it.
    I want one quite badly. I'm just sick of being alone all the time
    Offline

    20
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I want one quite badly. I'm just sick of being alone all the time
    I'd say just keep yourself busy. You're bound to find a gf sooner or later.:*
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by MrsSheldonCooper)
    I'd say just keep yourself busy. You're bound to find a gf sooner or later.:*
    That's what everyone keeps telling me but I do keep myself busy and I've still never been in a relationship
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    Well, you can try it, what's the harm in doing so? It's not the end of the world if you don't find someone on there, either.

    Don't take it too seriously, and you won't be disappointed. I don't think you should feel bad for trying it though. So many people have used it.
    Offline

    12
    ReputationRep:
    Tinder is a definitely a good source of single people in your area. You are unlikely to have the problem of being declined for dates, because the girl is on a dating app and will be expecting a date. It's good at increasing confidence as communicating initially over message is less daunting than talking in person. In regards to being worried about people you know seeing you on it; only other tinder users will be able to see your profile. Likewise only people who like you back can see that you have liked them. Messages are also not marked as read, so there is no pressure to respond. But the downside of tinder is the number of people using it for hookups. So it is very much a process of elimination and filtering through people. My second question was always "what brings you to tinder?". So I could establish if we are looking for the same things early on. But I'd recommend that you make a profile and give a try! I've learnt a lot from tinder, got to know a lot of great people and found a pretty perfect guy!
    Offline

    20
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Cecelia Tallice)
    Tinder is a definitely a good source of single people in your area. You are unlikely to have the problem of being declined for dates, because the girl is on a dating app and will be expecting a date. It's good at increasing confidence as communicating initially over message is less daunting than talking in person. In regards to being worried about people you know seeing you on it; only other tinder users will be able to see your profile. Likewise only people who like you back can see that you have liked them. Messages are also not marked as read, so there is no pressure to respond. But the downside of tinder is the number of people using it for hookups. So it is very much a process of elimination and filtering through people. My second question was always "what brings you to tinder?". So I could establish if we are looking for the same things early on. But I'd recommend that you make a profile and give a try! I've learnt a lot from tinder, got to know a lot of great people and found a pretty perfect guy!

    It's lines like these that make you wish TSR would allow users to embed laughing gif's......


    The female experience of online dating is night and day from the male experience.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Eat them cocopuffs like they sweet bishes
    Offline

    20
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Cecelia Tallice)
    Care to outline the male experience of online dating then? I'm sure after, I will be wishing I could embed a laughing gif.

    the majority of males who use online dating get very few women replying to their messages and go on very few dates due to women flaking/changing their mind, this is mainly due to supply and demand [too much thirsty men mass messaging anything with a vagina, and too few women on dating sites compared to men], most men end up dating down somewhat in terms of looks.

    this is the experience for most males.

    If a woman is 4 and she's got male 8's and 9's frequently messaging her, offering to wine and dine her, treat her like a princess ..etc etc. why is she going to go on a date with a male 4, or even a 5?




    80% of males do not have such a good experience with online dating.
    however for the top 20% of males [looks wise] it is a completely different story. Faced with so much thirsty males inboxing women ..the women get awfully picky and gravitate towards the BEST looking men. The 80/20 rule actually comes into effect where 80% of women gravitate towards the top 20% of the men ... leading to a small percentage of men getting laid between 2 - 5 times a month with EASE ...whilst the majority of the male population are LUCKY if they get laid once in a whole year

    bearing in mind the OP is 20 years old and struggling to get a date the evidence suggests that aesthetically speaking he is probably not in the top 20% of males. Therefore online he will struggle.

    A female online will get attention and multiple multiple offers no matter what she looks like. A male will not.
    Offline

    12
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by ANM775)
    the majority of males who use online dating get very few women replying to their messages and go on very few dates due to women flaking/changing their mind, this is mainly due to supply and demand [too much thirsty men mass messaging anything with a vagina, and too few women on dating sites compared to men], most men end up dating down somewhat in terms of looks.

    this is the experience for most males.

    If a woman is 4 and she's got male 8's and 9's frequently messaging her, offering to wine and dine her, treat her like a princess ..etc etc. why is she going to go on a date with a male 4, or even a 5?




    80% of males do not have such a good experience with online dating.
    however for the top 20% of males [looks wise] it is a completely different story. Faced with so much thirsty males inboxing women ..the women get awfully picky and gravitate towards the BEST looking men. The 80/20 rule actually comes into effect where 80% of women gravitate towards the top 20% of the men ... leading to a small percentage of men getting laid between 2 - 5 times a month with EASE ...whilst the majority of the male population are LUCKY if they get laid once in a whole year

    bearing in mind the OP is 20 years old and struggling to get a date the evidence suggests that aesthetically speaking he is probably not in the top 20% of males. Therefore online he will struggle
    A female online will get attention and multiple multiple offers no matter what she looks like. A male will not.
    Undoubtedly, there is a difference between response rate in males and females. However I feel that there are things guys can do to improve their own response rate. For example I have received numerous messages of either "hey" or "how are you?". Which doesn't grab my attention therefore more interesting introductory lines could increase the number of girls that reply. The thing that put me off about a number of guys on tinder, regardless of how attractive they are. Is that they are purely after meaningless sex. I have been sent initial messages such as " I wish I could be doing you like a dog".
    You suggested that women were unpredictable about dating. But from my own experience guys can be as equally as untrustworthy in terms of changing their minds. But in most cases the reason for this isn't as cut and dry as finding another person more attractive.
    I disagree with rating people solely on looks. Not only do different people have variations on what's attractive to them, but also I for one do not base my opinion of guys purely on looks but also on personality. I value a persons attributes, kind nature, interests, time they spend pursuing me and how well they can relate to me over their appearance. As to me all these qualities make a guy more attractive. As I'm sure you are aware, good appearance and an attractive personality don't always go hand in hand. I have dated guys in the past that have a less appealing appearance because I loved their personality and ability to connect with me.
    It's true that a higher percentage of tinder users are male. According to a new study by the global web index the ratio of females to males is 1:2. Hence why women are slightly more successful on tinder. However men are more competitive by nature, play the game!
    You're right I don't know whether the OP is in the "top 20% of males" as you put it. But I do strongly believe that everyone is classed as being in the top 20% to someone. It's just a matter of finding that one person that thinks the world of you!
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
Turn on thread page Beta
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: November 12, 2016
The home of Results and Clearing

3,399

people online now

1,567,000

students helped last year
Poll
A-level students - how do you feel about your results?

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Write a reply...
Reply
Hide
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.