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my parents don't seem to care about me watch

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    #1

    I wonder if anyone can give me some advice on what to do... I don't know if i should tell my parents how i feel.

    So due to my parents jobs they have to fly all over the world. Over the years it has become less and less frequent me seeing them. I see them at christmas, on holiday in the summer and the occasional birthday but probably about 5/6 times a year for a week or so. I know they must work and they are busy but it hurts because they only ever call me and my brother at home like maybe every 4/5 days... and its literally for 2 mins. They never text or ask how my day was, it's really not a big task for a parent to care about their children. They never ask whats going on at school or anything which upsets me because 'we' moved house in the summer into a completely new area so I had to start a new school and I pretty much hate it. I know I should be mature and I know things change but I am absolutely miserable here and I didn't have any say in the matter of moving.. they just 'decided' too. They don't even seem to care, they have never once asked me how i am liking it, have i made any new friends etc.

    I am so lonely, they assume I am happy. They leave me money so i can go out with my friends and go shopping and stuff and then just think I am okay. Only one other older sibling lives nearby so I spend time with him and his girlfriend sometimes but i still can't help but wish it was my parents more. I want to come home to my mum and dad and have dinner with them and do normal family stuff.

    I want to talk to my parents about how i am feeling but i don't know how. They can't help their jobs and how things are but I just want to see that they care a bit more. It brings me down soooooo much.

    Anyone?
    • #2
    #2

    awwww feel you. Why dont you just send them a text that says, "mum,dad i miss you.."
    if my kid sent that i would actually ask them aww, is everyhting ok, and we will be back soon.
    then yuo can say, i feel like im ot part of the faily any more or whatever you feel. gradually pull them ito the conversation. b
    besides do it via text. you wont feel as embarrassed and feel more braver.
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    You should definitely talk to them about it... would you feel comfortable doing so or would you find it hard?
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    Talk to them?!
    This must be so hard to deal with.
    If you can't talk maybe write a text message/email depending on how tou correspond with each other.
    I think it's natural to feel this way, and hopefully you and your parents can work it out.
    • #3
    #3

    What is your relationship like with your parents when you are together?
    • #1
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    What is your relationship like with your parents when you are together?
    Really good. We never argue or anything
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I wonder if anyone can give me some advice on what to do... I don't know if i should tell my parents how i feel.

    So due to my parents jobs they have to fly all over the world. Over the years it has become less and less frequent me seeing them. I see them at christmas, on holiday in the summer and the occasional birthday but probably about 5/6 times a year for a week or so. I know they must work and they are busy but it hurts because they only ever call me and my brother at home like maybe every 4/5 days... and its literally for 2 mins. They never text or ask how my day was, it's really not a big task for a parent to care about their children. They never ask whats going on at school or anything which upsets me because 'we' moved house in the summer into a completely new area so I had to start a new school and I pretty much hate it. I know I should be mature and I know things change but I am absolutely miserable here and I didn't have any say in the matter of moving.. they just 'decided' too. They don't even seem to care, they have never once asked me how i am liking it, have i made any new friends etc.

    I am so lonely, they assume I am happy. They leave me money so i can go out with my friends and go shopping and stuff and then just think I am okay. Only one other older sibling lives nearby so I spend time with him and his girlfriend sometimes but i still can't help but wish it was my parents more. I want to come home to my mum and dad and have dinner with them and do normal family stuff.

    I want to talk to my parents about how i am feeling but i don't know how. They can't help their jobs and how things are but I just want to see that they care a bit more. It brings me down soooooo much.

    Anyone?
    Its unusual in a way. One thing I learnt when I went to Uni is just how many kids had dysfunctional parents. Obviously you could have a lot worse, because they could beat you up , abuse you etc.

    Still they do seem to be starving you of love , affection and basic parenting. You dont sound as though you have ever had that and seem to be more like one of those tick box things (have kids) and then they throw money and provide for you, but only financially.

    My concern would be that is all they think parenting is, either they are selfish, clueless or dont care i.e its not by accident that they havent taken interest. No idea if you are a different nationality.

    It may be they will never be caring parents (everyone is not so busy they cant find 10-15 minutes in a day if they want to) and they brought you into the world. Parents should be role models and guardians overseeing your development and helping you along the way.

    My advice is talk to them (same as what others have said), but with a view of just saying you miss them, you feel you have little contact and take no interest in you. It would be nice if they put some time aside so you had more contact like other kids get.

    They might say yes or they might laugh it off or make excuses. There are no promises. If they make excuses, then am afraid you have selfish parents and you wont change it. Be nice if they went to counseling with you to talk the issues out.

    If they reject the idea, then you are a bit stuck at having to be your own parent and bringing yourself up. Not impossible by any means. When you grow older then your view of them might change or just confirm what your experience has been. If they wont talk or listen then am afraid its because they dont wish to, sorry I cnat be more helpful than that. Take care.
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    Hey kiddo,

    I feel for you, that's one of the saddest stories I've heard tbh

    But I think you need to talk to your parents, I'm trying to find a good justification for your parents abandoning you but I can't. This is not okay and I think you need to talk to someone at school like maybe a teacher you trust. This is not fair on you, you deserve your parents time and love - you're not a chore, you're their child.

    You deserve to be with your parents more often. I really hope you figure this out. If you're feeling really down about it, try childline (I'm not saying you've got issues or anything so hear me out). They have an online counselling service where you can anonymously talk to a counsellor about anything and it genuinely helps. They'll listen to you properly and are well-qualified to give you the best advice.
    I know people on TSR ARE DOPPPPPPEEE (EG ME) but this is really serious, especially if it's making you feel lonely, unloved anxious or depressed. You are totally lovable and deserve more of your parent's time.

    Parents don't realise that their kids don't care what job they're doing or how much they're earning, they just want to be with their parents at any cost.

    Really hope you figure this out, I gotchu if you're feeling sad. x
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by 999tigger)
    Its unusual in a way. One thing I learnt when I went to Uni is just how many kids had dysfunctional parents. Obviously you could have a lot worse, because they could beat you up , abuse you etc.

    Still they do seem to be starving you of love , affection and basic parenting. You dont sound as though you have ever had that and seem to be more like one of those tick box things (have kids) and then they throw money and provide for you, but only financially.

    My concern would be that is all they think parenting is, either they are selfish, clueless or dont care i.e its not by accident that they havent taken interest. No idea if you are a different nationality.

    It may be they will never be caring parents (everyone is not so busy they cant find 10-15 minutes in a day if they want to) and they brought you into the world. Parents should be role models and guardians overseeing your development and helping you along the way.

    My advice is talk to them (same as what others have said), but with a view of just saying you miss them, you feel you have little contact and take no interest in you. It would be nice if they put some time aside so you had more contact like other kids get.

    They might say yes or they might laugh it off or make excuses. There are no promises. If they make excuses, then am afraid you have selfish parents and you wont change it. Be nice if they went to counseling with you to talk the issues out.

    If they reject the idea, then you are a bit stuck at having to be your own parent and bringing yourself up. Not impossible by any means. When you grow older then your view of them might change or just confirm what your experience has been. If they wont talk or listen then am afraid its because they dont wish to, sorry I cnat be more helpful than that. Take care.


    okay thank you i appreciate your advice

    (Original post by Nuba123)
    Hey kiddo,

    I feel for you, that's one of the saddest stories I've heard tbh

    But I think you need to talk to your parents, I'm trying to find a good justification for your parents abandoning you but I can't. This is not okay and I think you need to talk to someone at school like maybe a teacher you trust. This is not fair on you, you deserve your parents time and love - you're not a chore, you're their child.

    You deserve to be with your parents more often. I really hope you figure this out. If you're feeling really down about it, try childline (I'm not saying you've got issues or anything so hear me out). They have an online counselling service where you can anonymously talk to a counsellor about anything and it genuinely helps. They'll listen to you properly and are well-qualified to give you the best advice.
    I know people on TSR ARE DOPPPPPPEEE (EG ME) but this is really serious, especially if it's making you feel lonely, unloved anxious or depressed. You are totally lovable and deserve more of your parent's time.

    Parents don't realise that their kids don't care what job they're doing or how much they're earning, they just want to be with their parents at any cost.

    Really hope you figure this out, I gotchu if you're feeling sad. x
    Thank you so much this means a lot to me and i'll definitely try the childline thing, thank you a lot!!
    • #4
    #4

    I relate to this. My parents care more about their jobs than me. My friends think it's cool because of all the freedom as they never really care but I wish they were more strict sometimes but whatever. My position isn't exactly like yours as I do live with my parents so I can't imagine how you must be feeling. If you're close/alright with them usually you should talk with them. I hope it hasn't always been like this for you.
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    I might not have said OP, but at this stage in your life it must be crushingly difficult to find that the people who are menat to be looking after you are actually rubbish at it. Besides talking to them (I dont think it will work), then in effect you have to be your own parent and not let them mess you up or let the situation make you too sad. As you say you already bond with your subling.

    It is very sad, but hopefully in the future if you find the right person, then you cna bond with them and ofc if you ever have kids, then you will not raise them the same way. Their behaviour dismays me. Hang in there, its they who are dysfunctional and not you. What you wnat is prefectly normal..
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    okay thank you i appreciate your advice



    Thank you so much this means a lot to me and i'll definitely try the childline thing, thank you a lot!!
    No worries, let me know if it helps. x
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I relate to this. My parents care more about their jobs than me. My friends think it's cool because of all the freedom as they never really care but I wish they were more strict sometimes but whatever. My position isn't exactly like yours as I do live with my parents so I can't imagine how you must be feeling. If you're close/alright with them usually you should talk with them. I hope it hasn't always been like this for you.
    it's really nice to know someone else can relate and i'm not alone in feeling like this


    (Original post by 999tigger)
    I might not have said OP, but at this stage in your life it must be crushingly difficult to find that the people who are menat to be looking after you are actually rubbish at it. Besides talking to them (I dont think it will work), then in effect you have to be your own parent and not let them mess you up or let the situation make you too sad. As you say you already bond with your subling.

    It is very sad, but hopefully in the future if you find the right person, then you cna bond with them and ofc if you ever have kids, then you will not raise them the same way. Their behaviour dismays me. Hang in there, its they who are dysfunctional and not you. What you wnat is prefectly normal..
    Yeah I guess so. I mean it's not like they don't care when they actually visit, it's just they think that giving out money will cut it for their absence and make everything better. And you're right I will never do this to my kids...
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    it's really nice to know someone else can relate and i'm not alone in feeling like this




    Yeah I guess so. I mean it's not like they don't care when they actually visit, it's just they think that giving out money will cut it for their absence and make everything better. And you're right I will never do this to my kids...
    They are just poor parents. Could be worse, but im sorry you have to put up with it. Raising a child and helpong them develop should be a joy. Maube explain by telling them the money is nice, but you would much prefer they spend time with you (even if on skype).
 
 
 
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