This discussion is now closed.

Check out other Related discussions

My ex boyfriend...

Hiya everyone. Well the thing is, my ex broke up with me in January. And I still think about him! Not constantly or anything, but sometimes I get really upset about it. Basically I wanted to know, has anyone else felt like this for so long? I mean 7 months ago it happened... surely I shouldn't be thinking about him at all any more?

Because as far as I was concerned the relationship was great, and I wouldn't have changed anything about him. Now I'm worried that no one will compare to him. It sounds so pathetic, and it's really only recently that I've thought like this again. I guess because I'm going to uni soon and hoping that at some point I may find someone special. I'm not desperate and I don't want anyone right away or anything, but I'm worried that if I do get close to someone he just won't be good enough.

I don't really know what I'm asking here really.... I guess I just wanted to know whether it took anyone else so long to get over their ex. Or to hear nice stories about people taking ages to get over their ex, but then meeting someone new and being happier than ever. lol. Anything really.

Reply 1

notsoperfect

1

Lulu87

Hiya everyone. Well the thing is, my ex broke up with me in January. And I still think about him! Not constantly or anything, but sometimes I get really upset about it. Basically I wanted to know, has anyone else felt like this for so long? I mean 7 months ago it happened... surely I shouldn't be thinking about him at all any more?

Because as far as I was concerned the relationship was great, and I wouldn't have changed anything about him. Now I'm worried that no one will compare to him. It sounds so pathetic, and it's really only recently that I've thought like this again. I guess because I'm going to uni soon and hoping that at some point I may find someone special. I'm not desperate and I don't want anyone right away or anything, but I'm worried that if I do get close to someone he just won't be good enough.

I don't really know what I'm asking here really.... I guess I just wanted to know whether it took anyone else so long to get over their ex. Or to hear nice stories about people taking ages to get over their ex, but then meeting someone new and being happier than ever. lol. Anything really.

yes! oh god i am in exactly the same situation. completely identical :smile:

my ex broke up with me in february when i was very very happy and in love with him and it was the worst thing that has ever happened to me. and i still think about him a lot. it plays on my mind. he has a different girlfriend now and i often torture myself by thinking about it. i am not longer thinking "i love him so much", but i do upset myself a lot and cry about it probably every week. it's much better than it was but i was so hurt by him and i worry that he has hurt me so much that it will affect my future relationships. i know that he isn't as good as i thought he was - why would he hurt me so, otherwise? - but i still worry that i'll compare everyone to him. he was my first love, the first person i ever opened up to like that, and i feel so stupid for being so ****ing naive and ever trusting him. yet still i probably worship him.

i am going to uni soon as well, away from where i live now, and i know that it will be a fresh start, and that thought has kept me going - and you should think about it too. you don't know WHO you are going to meet yet. this time in a few months, you will have met some fantastic people. you will meet someone better, somebody who actually deserves you and treats you right!

Reply 2

sparkriot

I think its natural to feel the way you do, especially as it sounds like it was quite an unexpected break up. Did he end it?
It can take a lot of time to get over someone but I think things will change when you go to uni. You'll meet loads of new people and be so busy that you probably wont think about him as much - because you'll have other things on your mind. I broke up with my boyfriend of 2 years before I started uni last September and I found myself thinking about him less and less once Id thrown myself into the whole uni experience. Good luck :smile:

Reply 3

pumpkin7

13

been there, done that, got the t-shirt.

my ex ended things with me in october, not long after he started uni and totally out of the blue. for months i couldn't get him off my mind. it didn't help that i continued to see him and sleep with him, but in february i called it a day and told him i didn't want to speak to him anymore. i think he was quite sad about this, because he wanted to remain friends.. lol!
anyway, it took me ages to get over him fully, but i've finally done it. sure, i think about him sometimes, but then i think about my current boyfriend and how much happier i am with him, and how much better he treats me than my ex. trust me, you will find someone just as good, probably better than your ex. he's moved on, so you should to! uni will bring many new opportunities for you, so you go and make the most of it. leave your ex behind girl..!

Reply 4

Fluent in Lies

2

I'm not gonna say, you know, there's plenty more fish in the sea. I'm not going to say if you love him, let him go. And I'm not going to bombard you with cliches. But what I will say is this...

It's not the end of the world.

Reply 5

prettygreeneyes99

9

Yea it can be difficult, cant say its ever taken me that lot to get over someone but it does vary... for instance someone I was with for nearly a year I can honestly say I was over him in about a month, yet someone I was with for 4 months it took a good 6 months before I felt anywhere near over him, confusing stuff! :s-smilie:

Reply 6

rawkingpunkster

How long were you two together?

Well I broke with my gf in dec, because she was absolutely clingy and possessive. Has since moved on, but she claims she hasnt, despite being very happy around friends and throwing herself at guys (sorry for being blunt, but its true. She tried to hook up my junior to make me jealous).

I guess, you just gotta go out and meet more people, enjoy life, do new things. Sure, the memories will take a while to fade, but at least when you're preoccupied, you have less time to dwell in painful memories.

Reply 7

tourist

9

When my boyfriend left to go back to Australia I literally spent months crying myself to sleep. Seems a bit extreme huh?

So yeah sometimes it can take a very long time.

Luckily he came back for me and 3 years on we're happily together with many fewer tears.

Reply 8

khil

15

If it's any consolation, it took me a year before I got over my ex, and we only dated for a few months :rolleyes:

I was very serious about him though, but we had to break up - well, or so that's the way I saw it anyway - due to religious reasons. In any case, recently found some old poems I wrote during the break up, and there're incredibly sad poems dating 6, 7, 8 months on from the break up. Give yourself time, I say :smile:

It's enough to WANT to move on, cus as long as you do want to move on, you will, eventually.

And since you wanted a happy story, after I got over my ex, I met my current boyfriend :biggrin:

and we've been dating for 1yr 8months now :biggrin:

It shall be 2 years on the 3rd Dec :biggrin:

He is the most amazing boyfriend, I love him so much. Although the future is uncertain atm due to the whole talk of long-distance... :redface:

In any case, when you get with someone else in the future - do NOT compare them with your ex. They're not the same person and it's not fair, and if you wanna compare then you shouldn't be with the new guy anyway for now.

Reply 9

Jake22

18

Yeah, I broke up with my girlfriend a couple of months ago and it is still preying on my mind pretty heavily. We had been together nearly 4 years and have lived together for about 2 and a half years. We had discussed marriage and kids and I thought that we were going to be together forever. I still feel completely gutted by the whole situation. It has been a rough couple of months to be honest; at first I couldn't be motivated to do anything at all. Now, I am having the occaisional good day but then when I think things are getting better I tend to go on a downer. I hope things start to pick up soon.

Reply 10

finlayw

Lulu87

Hiya everyone. Well the thing is, my ex broke up with me in January. And I still think about him! Not constantly or anything, but sometimes I get really upset about it. Basically I wanted to know, has anyone else felt like this for so long? I mean 7 months ago it happened... surely I shouldn't be thinking about him at all any more?

Because as far as I was concerned the relationship was great, and I wouldn't have changed anything about him. Now I'm worried that no one will compare to him. It sounds so pathetic, and it's really only recently that I've thought like this again. I guess because I'm going to uni soon and hoping that at some point I may find someone special. I'm not desperate and I don't want anyone right away or anything, but I'm worried that if I do get close to someone he just won't be good enough.

I don't really know what I'm asking here really.... I guess I just wanted to know whether it took anyone else so long to get over their ex. Or to hear nice stories about people taking ages to get over their ex, but then meeting someone new and being happier than ever. lol. Anything really.

My ex broke up with me in november. It's been a torrid affair and drawn out affair though its mostly behind me now.. 10 months ago!

I still think of her often (easily daily) and i think its entirely normal to miss what you had.

I eagerly await the start of uni and meeting new girls, it'll be ace :smile:

I think its important to judge each prospective partner on their own merits though... I know whoever i may meet will different from my ex, but that doesnt necessarily mean better or worse.. rememeber, however 'good' your ex was it didn't work out, otherwise they wouldnt be your ex.

good luck and getting over people can take aaages, time is the only healer

Reply 11

~Linh~

2

jesus let go already..

other fish in the sea

Reply 12

Onemandisaster

Fluent in Lies

I'm not gonna say, you know, there's plenty more fish in the sea.

Somehow I very much doubt the OP wants to **** a fish.

Reply 13

prettygreeneyes99

9

haha how nice it would be if someone could say 'plenty of fish in the sea' and for it to have any effect whatsoever :rolleyes:

Reply 14

MissHero

1

Well it's nearly a year since my ex and I broke up. Just found out he's seeing someone, apparently everyone else we are friends with knew, and despite staying friends (I thought) he didn't see fit to tell me. And I know there's no real reason why he should have done, but I'm still upset about it, I feel like an idiot, even if it is unreasonable. I still like him and I stupidly always thought we'd have something, since the main reason we broke up was the hassle of maintaining a long-distance relationship. It wouldn't have been so bad if when I asked people they all said "we thought you knew". Can't we all be idiots, eh? :frown:

Reply 15

lollipopsticks

1

im in same situation.bf broke up with me in jan because it got too serious for him and he got scared.we still saw eachother speak every day etc,went out one night to a club to be told by one of our mutual friends he has a new gf and had had her for past 4 months.never told me and we were still sleeping together occasionally.he was promising to cool things off then mayb try again when his head cleared all along lying to me.I was gutted.and annoyed our friend hadnt told me before.I still see him now and just today I said its her or me because she hates me and he doesnt tell her he still sees me etc.I spend more time with him that she does and were still really close and me to his family etc.I think he's going to choose her because i think he wants casual and she gives him casual.Im heartbroken :frown:

Reply 16

big?mark

How long were you with him?

According to sex and the city, it takes half the time you were with a man to completely get over him.

But its not like the bible claimed that, only sex and the city.

Reply 17

notsoperfect

1

big?mark

How long were you with him?

According to sex and the city, it takes half the time you were with a man to completely get over him.

But its not like the bible claimed that, only sex and the city.

yeah, that's a lie. i was was with my ex for half a year and it's taken seven months to get to where i am now, and i wouldn't say i was totally there yet.

i don't suppose i will be until i meet someone new.

Reply 18

Caroline1989

I wasn't completely over my ex until I met my current. Still think about him from time to time but the feelings are gone.

Reply 19

Jason007

I know how you feel. I broke up with my gf 2 years ago, and i still think about her from time to time. We're still friends, but it seems thats my only consolation :frown:

I'm sure your friends will comfort you, telling you there's "plenty of fish in the sea" and such, but like fluent says, its not the end of the world :smile:

I don't think im over her still, mayeb bcos ive resigned myself to the fact i'll always have feelings for her. I'm sure you'll forget about him once you meet someone new, for me i'm still waiting ><

My ex boyfriend...

Related discussions

Articles for you