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I don't think my ex is over me yet watch

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    After I broke up with my ex because I just had no feelings anymore, we decided to stay friends and ended things amicably. We stay in touch, and he still comes to me when he is going through difficult times, I comfort him (in a friendly way strictly), but sometimes over texts, he tells me how amazing I am, and says lots of love to you, I say 'likewise to you ' and he'll say something like 'haha, you know I meant love you in a friendly way.. awkward.. I notice you didn't say it back to me?', I knew he meant it in a platonic way but he often expects me to say I love you to him and I'm not into him anymore. Am I right in not using the love you words to him?
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    Well, what do you expect when you "stay friends"? He clearly still has feelings for you, not in a platonic way either.

    It doesn't help that you're being comforting either. You're doing him no favours by staying friends in my opinion.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    After I broke up with my ex because I just had no feelings anymore, we decided to stay friends and ended things amicably. We stay in touch, and he still comes to me when he is going through difficult times, I comfort him (in a friendly way strictly), but sometimes over texts, he tells me how amazing I am, and says lots of love to you, I say 'likewise to you ' and he'll say something like 'haha, you know I meant love you in a friendly way.. awkward.. I notice you didn't say it back to me?', I knew he meant it in a platonic way but he often expects me to say I love you to him and I'm not into him anymore. Am I right in not using the love you words to him?
    Your totally right, your relationship is over and if you don't love him you don't have to say I love you too him, don't worry he'll realise one day that your not interested
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    After I broke up with my ex because I just had no feelings anymore, we decided to stay friends and ended things amicably. We stay in touch, and he still comes to me when he is going through difficult times, I comfort him (in a friendly way strictly), but sometimes over texts, he tells me how amazing I am, and says lots of love to you, I say 'likewise to you ' and he'll say something like 'haha, you know I meant love you in a friendly way.. awkward.. I notice you didn't say it back to me?', I knew he meant it in a platonic way but he often expects me to say I love you to him and I'm not into him anymore. Am I right in not using the love you words to him?
    If you don't love him then yeah you're right...
    But just out of curiosity, how do you lose feelings for someone? was it down to something they did? was he too clingy/attached?
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    (Original post by UWS)
    Well, what do you expect when you "stay friends"? He clearly still has feelings for you, not in a platonic way either.

    It doesn't help that you're being comforting either. You're doing him no favours by staying friends in my opinion.
    I can't just leave him be when he tells me really horrible things that are happening in his family, so I say comforting things to him like I'm here if he needs to talk, it will get better eventually etc. I'd feel extremely guilty if I left him when he really needs me. He wants us to go away on weekends too and I do love him as a friend, but I can't have him getting extremely hurt when I enter another relationship, I'd rather he distanced himself to be honest.
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    (Original post by Zaky17)
    Your totally right, your relationship is over and if you don't love him you don't have to say I love you too him, don't worry he'll realise one day that your not interested
    Thank you for responding. I'm glad you agree so I'm not just being heartless :P I just didn't want to lead him on at all. He's just messaged me saying 'I am too used to how we are before, I guess you don't feel the same way, it's fine' well surely it's a bit obvious I don't seeing as I've already told him I'm not in love with him and we broke up?!
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    (Original post by Someboady)
    If you don't love him then yeah you're right...
    But just out of curiosity, how do you lose feelings for someone? was it down to something they did? was he too clingy/attached?
    There were so many reasons that I kept putting to the back of my mind and ignoring, but they made me very unhappy inside over time. I wasn't attracted to him sexually, I kept ignoring it and told myself to quit being shallow and looks fade, but it meant I avoided intimacy which wasn't fair on either of us. He was also extremely insecure and always feared I would leave him because he wasn't good enough and needed constant reassurance. He was also very socially awkward in the sense he wouldn't even hug me in public and would be too anxious to hold my hand because he said he cared about what people thought? Other things too, but those were some of the main reasons.

    The relationship was very dysfunctional and I realized we were simply mismatched.
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    (Original post by UWS)
    Well, what do you expect when you "stay friends"? He clearly still has feelings for you, not in a platonic way either.

    It doesn't help that you're being comforting either. You're doing him no favours by staying friends in my opinion.
    I agree with this. This is the way me and my exs went, and it benefitted us both, especially if there are feelings still there.

    Well my first ex was in college so there was not any reason to stay in contact as we are in different universities now and it wasn't anything serious anyway. With my second ex there was feelings so we decided it was best for both of us to cut contact and therefore not be 'just friends', as it was not going to help either of us move on. It was the best decision and I made the most out of it as I was in second year university and started to actually live university life.
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    Why don't you just cut him out of your life? Not really much good keeping ex's around.
 
 
 
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