So I'm 19 and don't have much experience with girls. My only girlfriends have either been LDR online, or a friends I have known for many years and then we became a couple. But I have now realised it's too hard to just wait until I find a girl by circumstance, become friends with her, and potentially years later become boyfriend and girlfriend. So now I am trying to just meet girls at events or parties or through friend groups and ask them out. But since I have no experience, my only "dating" skills comes from american TV and culture and the seem to do things weird with their dating multiple girls and what not. That's a very foreign and wrong concept to me so I'd like to know how people in the UK do it.
My plan would be to have a girl I like but have not spoken to much, only maybe every so often at events. Then just ask her something like, "do you want to go get dinner/see a movie/ go to this event together". Do we do that here?
If she says yes and we go and enjoy it then what are we? Americans would say dating but not in a relationship but I know those two as the same thing. Once we have been on this date, how to we take it further?
Basically what I am asking is how I get from not knowing a girl to becoming a couple, boyfriend and girlfriend, in a relationship with her, etc. If I were to just keep asking her out on dates and she'd keep saying yes I feel like nothing would have changed. She's still that girl that I know go on dates with every week but that's it. When do we start hugging or kissing? Buying things for each other? (obviously a lot later) moving in together? How will I know if all I've been doing is the same as the first date? When I I start to initiate these more romantic things?
And for a bonus, I feel as if when I ask a girl out on a date, she may think its just as a friend. What can I say to make sure she knows?
I want to be very up front and say, "I know this is up front and to the point but I like you so I want to [insert asking her out phrase here]". Do you think this is a good idea or is the fact that I am being so to the point a bit off putting and she may think I don't know how to do it normally or something? This way would be good because I will know for sure with her answer, that she either likes me or nor.
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How do you actually ask a girl out? watch
- Thread Starter
- 12-11-2016 17:13
- 12-11-2016 17:22
well, first of all, let her know that you're asking her out because you like her
yes, it's difficult, but if she likes you too then it's not going to matter - tell her, roughly, that you like her and want to do something with her - you're going to have to be very comfortable with her in order to feel right when you do it - you have to expect her to like you too in order to have that necessary confidence to get that message out
you also need to get used to the possibility of rejection and asking girls out will become a lot less difficult
rejection doesn't necessary lower your confidence - it just makes the let-downs a lot less harsh if you've had so many of them
- 13-11-2016 20:33
I never used to be sure, but don't make a big deal out of it just say something like "oh hey are you free this weekend? Maybe we could go out and do something like (put option of place to go eg cinema). If you write a paragraph about it then the girl will think you are needy. Just act chilled. I know its easier to say than do, but trust me, I used to be so worried about this, and I finally did it and it worked. Except, she wasn't free that weekend.
- 14-11-2016 09:48
what happened to me, we met at a couple of parties and he texted me the next day asking if i wanted to meet with him, very casual. then after a few outings he asked me to be his girlfriend, so maybe just make it very casual. If she keeps meeting up with you then things are looking good! good luckkkkkk