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Chemistry Extended Essay

Hey Guys, I'm a year 13 student studying the IB and I have a keen interest in chemistry, which has led me to write an extended essay in chemistry. I have recently handed in my 3rd draft of my essay and my teacher says it is a C pushing unto a B grade, however, he identifies my main issue as not writing 'academically enough' . How do I write an academic chemistry essay? Do I scrap the 1st person pronoun? How do I get it to an A grade? ANY HELP IS MUCH APPRECIATED!

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