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Have i ruined one of the best things to happen to me?

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    Long story short, girl i have been meeting with for the past month or so recently got dumped and i have always been interested in her from the get go, we get on really well together, we click, we liek the same things, last week she said she was going half way up the country to meet a guy friend she has not seen in 3 years for a laugh and a drink but said she would meet me at the train station afterwards and we would go for drinks.

    I was not happy with this, i had a bad feeling about it, but as she was single i have no right to tell her to do anything.. so i took it on the chin and said i'd see her after.

    Now what i feared was going to happen came true, she got too drunk.. missed her train back here of which there were no more for the day so ended up staying at the guys house so i didn't get to see her that night... i later find out that she had sex with him.. she said they were both drunk and it happened... i then decided to drop the fact that i liked her more than a friend, even though i thought she knew this she said she did not and that she said she cared about me as a friend... i got it so wrong, i was convinced she liked me more.

    Now the other day she rings me up to meet up and sort this out as we had become distant since this, so i go to her area for drinks in the pub.. and i just couldn't help it.. i was blunt, i was sarcastic all the time, i kept checking my watch and looking at my phone, i felt small, rejected, not good enough... safe to say it was a disaster.

    We have spoke online since this and she wasn't happy at all with how i was and as far as im concerned now feels different towards me and i'm not sure if she wants to see me again.. i feel i have ruined one of the best things that has happened to me in a while and i feel sick to my stomach for days about what happened and how i acted... any advice? was i wrong to be how i was? can i fix this?
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    First thing you do is apologise and leave it at that, then just casually talk after at a later date and be there for her - show her despite your mistakes in your attitude, you can man up, acknowledge them and learn from them. That's a very respectable trait to have.

    Sooner or later you need to maturely and confidently tell her how you feel - there are few things worse than having to beat about the bush with someone you like. Sure, you may be rejected and she may want to stay friends; but would you rather just pretend she may like you yet never find out or go all out and if she rejects, be prepared to take that stomach-wrenching possibility and move on?
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    (Original post by NoPunInThisName)
    First thing you do is apologise and leave it at that, then just casually talk after at a later date and be there for her - show her despite your mistakes in your attitude, you can man up, acknowledge them and learn from them. That's a very respectable trait to have.

    Sooner or later you need to maturely and confidently tell her how you feel - there are few things worse than having to beat about the bush with someone you like. Sure, you may be rejected and she may want to stay friends; but would you rather just pretend she may like you yet never find out or go all out and if she rejects, be prepared to take that stomach-wrenching possibility and move on?
    Indeed, i have apologised for how i was..i was ashamed of my behaviour as when we are together usually it's great, but under the circumstances i just felt like i was not good enough and i suppose my behaviour reflected that, i suppose i did not really want to be there in the first place but i was..i wanted to fix it but it did not get fixed.

    She knows i like her now as it came out after i found out she had drunken sex with that guy (who she says she sees as just a friend...not sure if true though) i am trying to fix it though, and she is still talking to me online as of now but im just not sure what she thinks about me anymore.
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    (Original post by TranceEnergy1989)
    Indeed, i have apologised for how i was..i was ashamed of my behaviour as when we are together usually it's great, but under the circumstances i just felt like i was not good enough and i suppose my behaviour reflected that, i suppose i did not really want to be there in the first place but i was..i wanted to fix it but it did not get fixed.

    She knows i like her now as it came out after i found out she had drunken sex with that guy (who she says she sees as just a friend...not sure if true though) i am trying to fix it though, and she is still talking to me online as of now but im just not sure what she thinks about me anymore.
    If she's still talking despite everything that's happened, clearly she's not been too put off by previous events. Hell, I may be wrong and I apologise if I am but that may be a sign she's interested too.

    Would she lead you on knowing you like her?

    Only you can decide this mate, but there'll be a right time to take this further if possible - ask if she wants to go out for dinner or something, what have you to lose?

    This is life my friend, we only get one shot at it!
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    (Original post by NoPunInThisName)
    If she's still talking despite everything that's happened, clearly she's not been too put off by previous events. Hell, I may be wrong and I apologise if I am but that may be a sign she's interested too.

    Would she lead you on knowing you like her?

    Only you can decide this mate, but there'll be a right time to take this further if possible - ask if she wants to go out for dinner or something, what have you to lose?

    This is life my friend, we only get one shot at it!
    Well yeah i mean she did at one point apologise for leading me on if that is what she did, i said it's more actions than words that show that.

    She may like me and just not admit to it..or she does not know how she feels about me,

    It's my birthday on Friday and i asked her if she wanted to join me, she said it depends on if she has the time or the money, i told her not to worry about the money i'd sort it out and she replied "i'll have to see"...This was yesterday and i have left it at that, i would like to meet again to fix all this.
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    (Original post by TranceEnergy1989)
    Well yeah i mean she did at one point apologise for leading me on if that is what she did, i said it's more actions than words that show that.

    She may like me and just not admit to it..or she does not know how she feels about me,

    It's my birthday on Friday and i asked her if she wanted to join me, she said it depends on if she has the time or the money, i told her not to worry about the money i'd sort it out and she replied "i'll have to see"...This was yesterday and i have left it at that, i would like to meet again to fix all this.
    It may be a game of patience and of course you don't want to be too over-bearing, but just keep in the fold and there'll be a window of opportunity.
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    (Original post by NoPunInThisName)
    It may be a game of patience and of course you don't want to be too over-bearing, but just keep in the fold and there'll be a window of opportunity.
    Yeah of course, i just thought i would offer as before this i did ask her a few weeks ago if she wanted to meet on my birthday and i got the same answer, i'm gonna leave it down to her to let me know, if she does she does if not then we will see.
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    (Original post by TranceEnergy1989)
    Yeah of course, i just thought i would offer as before this i did ask her a few weeks ago if she wanted to meet on my birthday and i got the same answer, i'm gonna leave it down to her to let me know, if she does she does if not then we will see.
    I'm sure she'll come along - all the best mate.
 
 
 
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Updated: November 13, 2016
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