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    • Thread Starter

    I'm currently studying at a university in Scotland and I don't think I have ever felt this lonely before.
    I live in student halls and I had such high expectations for university and don't get me wrong my roommate is lovely but she is hardly ever here. The friendship group I fell into never include me in anything even if my door is open or I express interest in whatever they are planning to do. For example it was one of the girl's birthdays and they were all heading out do dinner yet I was the only one in the group not invited.
    I know I probably seem like a tag along to them but I don't know how to change this.
    I have some friends on my course but the loneliness is horrendous at the weekend and in the evenings when I see my supposed friendship group doing all these things without even asking me if I was interested in joining them.
    I'm quite a timid person naturally but I've never had this much trouble with friendships before and it's really starting to have a negative effect on my uni work and mental health. My parents made a lot of sacrifices to be able to send me here, the costs are unbelievable and I feel like I would be letting them down if I told them the truth and that I no longer want to be here.

    I'm away from home, Ireland, and all I think about is how close it is until Christmas so I can leave this place. I am absolutely miserable and don't want to spend the next 4 years here if this is how it'll be. I can't even bear to think about what my housing situation will be like next year. I just want to go home constantly and I have never cried over something so much before.

    What should I do?

    Hi, really sorry you are feeling like this. Its not easy settling in and making friends, even though others can make it look very easy. Although you feel a bit on the outsides of the group, they may not realise this and if you are not putting yourself forward a bit they may assume you are ok and not bothered about joining them. Just a thought. perhaps you could say to one of the group,have they got any plans, or to let you know as you would like to go along. Even to one of them you maybe get on with a little better or are more comfortble with, say a little of how you are feeling ?

    I am sorry that the social aspect of university has been unpleasant and lonely. Perhaps you can afresh and find new friends. I've found that the best way to meet people and friends is through societies or sports. Join a one or two fun ones. Do you have an interest? For instance if you like photography then join the photo soc, similarly if you like to bake then join the baking soc. I was surprised how friendly and willing to talk people are.

    I feel for you. The problem with university is that everyone has a hollywood-lifestyle on their minds and that's why they don't like timid people who don't feed into their "mad lyfe" image.

    How many friends do adults have? Like 5 super close ones. They are picked up at random stages in life, not necessarily all in university, first year.

    I can only give you the obvious join a society / sports team / chill with the people you talk to in lectures. How did you meet your school friends? Most of them were random. I met mine at like year 11 only.
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