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    Ive been with my girlfriend nearly 8 years now and lived together for 18 months. Both 25. Both very happy together

    Weve agreed tl start trying for kids in a couple of years and to move to a bigger house soon. I want to be married before i have kids though.

    I bought the subject up with her around 6months ago and she said she wasnt sure whether she ever wanted to get married and wasnt sure if she just didnt feel old enough ( was 24 at the time). I made clear i did and she then said she thought it should be a surprise rather than something thats talked about first.

    Im thinking of proposing at christmas. Is this a bad idea given her comments?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Ive been with my girlfriend nearly 8 years now and lived together for 18 months. Both 25. Both very happy together

    Weve agreed tl start trying for kids in a couple of years and to move to a bigger house soon. I want to be married before i have kids though.

    I bought the subject up with her around 6months ago and she said she wasnt sure whether she ever wanted to get married and wasnt sure if she just didnt feel old enough ( was 24 at the time). I made clear i did and she then said she thought it should be a surprise rather than something thats talked about first.

    Im thinking of proposing at christmas. Is this a bad idea given her comments?
    I don't think that's a bad idea,especially after 8 years together and planning to have a family in a couple of years.
    For me it wasn't a complete surprise far from it really, we quite openly discussed a timeline and what kind of ring I like before he proposed. Does she know you want to be married before you have kids?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Ive been with my girlfriend nearly 8 years now and lived together for 18 months. Both 25. Both very happy together

    Weve agreed tl start trying for kids in a couple of years and to move to a bigger house soon. I want to be married before i have kids though.

    I bought the subject up with her around 6months ago and she said she wasnt sure whether she ever wanted to get married and wasnt sure if she just didnt feel old enough ( was 24 at the time). I made clear i did and she then said she thought it should be a surprise rather than something thats talked about first.

    Im thinking of proposing at christmas. Is this a bad idea given her comments?
    bro, you need to get real and ask people who know you not students online
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    Me and my partner have been together eight years and we are getting married in July so eight years is definitely a long enough time to wait to propose and we are 24 & 25 too so I would say that's old enough to consider marriage, especially after how long the relationship has been and if you plan to have a future together. Marriage isn't the be all and end all, you can have a long and committed relationship without but if you feel it's the next step forward then propose and take things from there. Since your girlfriend isn't fully for marriage, you could always get engaged but have a really long engagement? Then that way you both kind of get what you want at least for now and gives you both time to work things out.

    A christmas proposal sounds lovely
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    As someone like your girlfriend and doesn't really want to get married- I don't believe in the whole farce of it. Id probably be really dissapointed you'd heard my opinion on it and listened to me say I wasnt ready/didnt want to and you blatantly ignore my wishes. Personally It wouldnt go down very well with me but you know your girlfriend better than anyone else does on here so its probably best left to your judgement!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Ive been with my girlfriend nearly 8 years now and lived together for 18 months. Both 25. Both very happy together

    Weve agreed tl start trying for kids in a couple of years and to move to a bigger house soon. I want to be married before i have kids though.

    I bought the subject up with her around 6months ago and she said she wasnt sure whether she ever wanted to get married and wasnt sure if she just didnt feel old enough ( was 24 at the time). I made clear i did and she then said she thought it should be a surprise rather than something thats talked about first.

    Im thinking of proposing at christmas. Is this a bad idea given her comments?

    Your girlfriend is right, it should be a surprise so because she said that then christmas is the perfect time to ask her or on christmas day as she will not be expecting a christmas proposal plus you will save money not having to buy her a christmas present this year as the propsal would be the present, no i'm joking but if you waited til valentines day to do it then that would not be a surprise and way too obvious
    And after you propose just say you can just have a really long engagement if that is what she prefers.
    My ex friend and her fiance got engaged after 7 months and have been engaged for 10 years now which i think is ridiculous but only because they are a lot older than you so i don't see the point of anyone being engaged that long and sometimes people who have been engaged that length of time then get divorced a few years later because it did not work which is exactly what happened with Myleene Klass but I'm not sure how long she was engaged for ( if you don't know who she is just google her name ) but because your girlfriend was not so keen then you can stay engaged for 1 or 2 years then ask her about it again.
    After 1or 2 years if she still says she is not ready for marriage then i can't see it working out because she should have made her mind up by now because you have already been together 8 years so that is long enough and she should know exactly what she wants by that stage
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    (Original post by VikkiHanley)
    As someone like your girlfriend and doesn't really want to get married- I don't believe in the whole farce of it. Id probably be really dissapointed you'd heard my opinion on it and listened to me say I wasnt ready/didnt want to and you blatantly ignore my wishes. Personally It wouldnt go down very well with me but you know your girlfriend better than anyone else does on here so its probably best left to your judgement!
    It wasnt a case of she definately doesnt ever want to get married, she just didnt know.
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    Also do you think i should ask her fathers permission? Personally i think its too old fashioned .
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    Take her somewhere fun then whip out the ring. Talking about it beforehand kills the romance
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Ive been with my girlfriend nearly 8 years now and lived together for 18 months. Both 25. Both very happy together

    Weve agreed tl start trying for kids in a couple of years and to move to a bigger house soon. I want to be married before i have kids though.

    I bought the subject up with her around 6months ago and she said she wasnt sure whether she ever wanted to get married and wasnt sure if she just didnt feel old enough ( was 24 at the time). I made clear i did and she then said she thought it should be a surprise rather than something thats talked about first.

    Im thinking of proposing at christmas. Is this a bad idea given her comments?
    why are you telling complete strangers about your own relationship. Talk to people that know you and your gf
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Also do you think i should ask her fathers permission? Personally i think its too old fashioned .

    Of course you should ask him first, it shows respect, every man should do it that way especially if they get on with the parents. It is very old fashioned but there is nothing wrong with that and her father will respect you more for asking him first and he can give you advice on how or where to ask her because he knows her best.
    On a tv programme on ItvBe called Playa in Marbella a man called Elliot Wright took his fiance's father out to a retaurant and asked his permission there ( if you can type the name of the show on You Tube, google or catch up tv ) you can see how he asked the dad.but obviously you can just visit him at home or bring him a bottle of his favourite drink. Maybe he will help to pay for the wedding
    And it's perfectly ok to ask people on here as all your doing is getting other people's opinions and experience, you can even ask a stranger who you were sitting next to on a train or any where especially if they are married as some people do ask strangers on the street for advice.
    It's perfectly ok to get a strangers perspective on things because sometimes family, friends, people you know just tell you things you want to hear
 
 
 
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