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Coming out to a teacher

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    I don't know if this is in the right section, however I'm a 14 year old girl & I'm bisexual and I really want to come out to the deputy head of my school, we organised to chat tomorrow at break time and i'm honestly SO nervous now, im worried she will tell my parents or will find it weird that i'm telling her ??

    is it weird to come out to a teacher?

    update; i basically did come out to her and she was so so supportive, my school only has a drop in school nurse / counsellor and this teacher taught me last year and i've been to her about other thing she that have been bothering me and she's always been understanding and sweet and coming out to her was maybe the best desicison i've made all year lmao
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    1. It's not weird if you come out to a teacher. Part of a teacher's job is to try to maintain a colloquial relationship with their students.

    2. If you tell your teacher that you don't want your parents to know (maybe because you want to tell them yourselves, idk) then a good teacher would respect that decision.

    3. If this is the first time you've come out, then being nervous is okay, so really, chill out.

    Good luck tomorrow.
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    (Original post by cohnfused)
    I don't know if this is in the right section, however I'm a 14 year old girl & I'm bisexual and I really want to come out to the deputy head of my school, we organised to chat tomorrow at break time and i'm honestly SO nervous now, im worried she will tell my parents or will find it weird that i'm telling her ??

    is it weird to come out to a teacher?
    tbh wouldn't u want to tell your friends first...why deputy head?anyways it's your choice..If u don't want her to tell your parents then you can tell her that.
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    (Original post by cohnfused)
    I don't know if this is in the right section, however I'm a 14 year old girl & I'm bisexual and I really want to come out to the deputy head of my school, we organised to chat tomorrow at break time and i'm honestly SO nervous now, im worried she will tell my parents or will find it weird that i'm telling her ??

    is it weird to come out to a teacher?
    She will probably feel glad that you trust her by telling her this. She wont think its weird she will probably feel that you need to talk to someone and that is a teachers role to be there for their students. I dont see why she would tell your parents and if you dont want anyone knowing she should respect that. Though i dont see any reason for her telling anyone else your private business.
    Goodluck
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    (Original post by cohnfused)
    I don't know if this is in the right section, however I'm a 14 year old girl & I'm bisexual and I really want to come out to the deputy head of my school, we organised to chat tomorrow at break time and i'm honestly SO nervous now, im worried she will tell my parents or will find it weird that i'm telling her ??

    is it weird to come out to a teacher?
    wtf why do you need to tell your deputy head?
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    Well done on having the courage to come out to anyone, regardless of who it is
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    (Original post by Emz99)
    wtf why do you need to tell your deputy head?
    because i trust her n she taught me last year n has also sorted out quite a lot of stuff for me lmao
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    If you're not ready for your parents to find out or possibly the whole school, you should probaby make sure its all confidential because in some stories I've heard they don't end well, or you don't have to rush into coming out to anybody.
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    Anybody who's gay probably won't understand why you feel the need to tell her, so here it is coming from an actual gay person: good call. That's really brave, and it's so common for secondary school/sixth form students to come out to teachers, my best friend felt like he had to tell our old RE teacher at the time, and he spoke about a few problems he had with it to his old form tutor. Your deputy head will likely be glad you've told her. She can't tell your parents anything unless she feels like you're going to harm yourself or others, in which case she would tell you that she had to tell your parents anyway, but you don't sound like you're in that position anyway. She'll likely just ask you how she can support you and make sure you know if you have any problems with it that you can talk to her. Let us know how you get on, good luck <3
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    (Original post by tamil fever)
    tbh wouldn't u want to tell your friends first...why deputy head?anyways it's your choice..If u don't want her to tell your parents then you can tell her that.
    Telling your friends can be bad at times. They gossip as well regardless of how close you might be.
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    (Original post by Illimitable)
    Telling your friends can be bad at times. They gossip as well regardless of how close you might be.
    very true.But teachers sometimes gossip too.
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    (Original post by tamil fever)
    very true.But teachers sometimes gossip too.
    That's is true but students will tell students. Teachers won't tell other students only other teachers.
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    Why exactly are you coming out to the deputy head? Seems pretty odd to me.

    But it's up to you, and you should be happy that you have the courage to come out
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    (Original post by Illimitable)
    That's is true but students will tell students. Teachers won't tell other students only other teachers.
    both of them cause many problems tbh.For example if teachers tell teachers then it would be very awkward when they see/teach you.And if it is spread via students it also cause problems.Both of them are equally bad
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    (Original post by tamil fever)
    both of them cause many problems tbh.For example if teachers tell teachers then it would be very awkward when they see/teach you.And if it is spread via students it also cause problems.Both of them are equally bad
    Yeah, very true.
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    (Original post by tamil fever)
    very true.But teachers sometimes gossip too.
    I've worked in a school and yeah teachers gossip but in my experience they don't gossip about personal or private student problems. They do respect confidentiality. They might gossip about who swore at which teacher, who's going out with who (and why) and these sorts of things but not a formal disclosure that someone has asked to remain private. This would only be shared with people who needed to know.

    OP I doubt your teacher will think anything bad of you. Good on you for finding someone you can talk to and taking a leap in confiding in them.
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    (Original post by Fractite)
    1. It's not weird if you come out to a teacher. Part of a teacher's job is to try to maintain a colloquial relationship with their students.

    2. If you tell your teacher that you don't want your parents to know (maybe because you want to tell them yourselves, idk) then a good teacher would respect that decision.

    3. If this is the first time you've come out, then being nervous is okay, so really, chill out.

    Good luck tomorrow.
    No. This is not correct.

    It is not part of a teacher's job to be 'colloquial' with their students. It is the job of a teacher to teach - students services (or your tutor, if you have one) are there to deal with any pastoral issues. Coming out to a teacher is, frankly, bizarre. Why do you think s/he's going to be interested in it? And what do you think s/he's going to say? I don't understand your motivation for doing this, apart from some need to unburden yourself onto someone.
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    (Original post by cohnfused)
    I don't know if this is in the right section, however I'm a 14 year old girl & I'm bisexual and I really want to come out to the deputy head of my school, we organised to chat tomorrow at break time and i'm honestly SO nervous now, im worried she will tell my parents or will find it weird that i'm telling her ??

    is it weird to come out to a teacher?
    At least you trust your teacher! How did it go?x
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    Can't help but agree with the above. I don't understand why such familiar relationships with teachers have arisen. The case will only be passed over to the pastoral team anyway. I also have to agree that within the pastoral team, personal issues with students are really confidential.

    But I guess if the teacher doesn't mind (some did in the school I worked at for a bit) and the OP wants to tell her then there's no harm in it I guess and I hope it makes you feel better. Good luck girlie!

    Schools have changed since I left only a couple of years ago it seems :'
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    Wow how things have changed. Two of my friends at school were lesbians. They were "caught" kissing each other in a corridor one lunchtime. All hell broke out. The teacher who saw them yelled at them something along the lines of, "What on earth do you think you're doing"? I think I remember they were both suspended from school for a week or a fortnight. This was around 1983. They were suspended for kissing each other. Wonder if they would have been suspended had they been a boy and a girl?
 
 
 
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