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Dating is so complicated

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    How the hell can people play it so well? I feel that my life is plagued with unlucky encounters or close calls with girls that I'll never find anyone. I consider myself a decent looking guy but I end up doing something that either leads to them losing interest or them just wanting to be friends. I've only had one girlfriend, that was online a few years ago but that never worked because of the distance and it fell apart after a few months. Since then I've had nothing but bad luck.

    I don't even know what exactly I'm doing wrong. Point out my mistakes and help a bro be more successful in dating. I thought the idea when a girl clearly likes you is to continuously text them to keep the interest going but I heard that was bad so I stopped texting and then they think I'm not interested anymore. I just don't know when a girl is being friendly or flirty with me and that's something I never really got to grips with. I've always called it wrong, either a girl shows interest but I completely miss it or a girl is being friendly and I see that as flirty.
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    Continuously texting is a bad thing, because it makes the girl feel pressured to respond constantly and she may have other things she needs to do without checking her phone all the time. It unfortunately also makes the guy appear desperate. The key is to text enough, but not too much. Something like a random text or 2 during the day might work, and only text more if they initiate themselves. And make sure each text has a purpose e.g. 'Hi' would come across as awkward on its own, but something unexpected would be appreciated e.g. plans to meet up soon, or something funny you heard. I'd imagine for a man, the rule with texts is that it's better to text too little than too much, and always better to text with a purpose.

    Hope that helped somehow, I was just imagining how I would react as a girl, but of course, women vary so what works for one may not work for another. If you got any questions, feel free to pm and I'll try to help.
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by _Nyx_)
    Continuously texting is a bad thing, because it makes the girl feel pressured to respond constantly and she may have other things she needs to do without checking her phone all the time. It unfortunately also makes the guy appear desperate. The key is to text enough, but not too much. Something like a random text or 2 during the day might work, and only text more if they initiate themselves. And make sure each text has a purpose e.g. 'Hi' would come across as awkward on its own, but something unexpected would be appreciated e.g. plans to meet up soon, or something funny you heard. I'd imagine for a man, the rule with texts is that it's better to text too little than too much, and always better to text with a purpose.

    Hope that helped somehow, I was just imagining how I would react as a girl, but of course, women vary so what works for one may not work for another. If you got any questions, feel free to pm and I'll try to help.
    I see what you mean. I always thought that if you didn't text then it looks like you're not intrerested. So you mean text with a reason not just for the sake of starting a conversation if you just want to talk about how their day was (and that's it), for example?

    What about after a first date? I've been on a few but i don't know how that goes for me, how would I proceed in terms of texting after a first date?
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    There's nothing wrong with asking how her day was it's nice when a guy takes an interest, but long conversations aren't really great via text. If you want to talk a lot, then give her a call (but don't call too much either though), keep everything in moderation. If you want a long catch-up, make plans to meet (it's nice when a man takes initiative).

    With a first date, personally (and in an ideal world), I'd be happy if he sent me a text after the date mentioning that he enjoyed it and hinting that he'd be interested in another. Then the next day, it would be nice if he sent a suggestion of where next to go (don't text early though, leave it until late afternoon/evening unless she contacts first). If she really likes you, she will be looking forward to your texts and she may feel disappointed if you send nothing next day.
 
 
 
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Updated: November 15, 2016
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