I hate my friends, pls help me make new ones

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Anonymous #1
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I'm a 19 year old girl. I have like 3 best mates but lately I'm really starting to get sick of them.2 of my mates are guys. One of my guy mates has a girlfriend and all he ever does is talk about her and I mean thats all he EVER talks about, plus he lives at uni so I rarely see him. The other one of my guy mates has turned into the biggest ****boy going. Whenever I post pics of girls on insta he texts me asking who they are and he's even tried hitting on me so its a big eugh.

Now my best best mate is a girl. Her parents are really strict muslims so she can't be out later than 4pm. Like her mum calls her at 3pm asking her where she is :/...its kinda crappy cause we don't really go out or stay out late. She's also really anti social so she hates it when I talk to other people and whenever she's free from uni she's always down my uni and texting me to meet up.

I'm first year at uni rn. I haven't made any mates at uni yet because I commute so I usually turn up for lectures and then leave. Plus my first year is a general year so theres over 500 people in the lecture halls. I joined societies but nothing has really come out from them.

I'm quite an extroverted person who has no problem srtiking up convo. I really, really want to make a new group of mates. Any suggestions how?
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Diego Costa
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In all honesty it's very difficult to make friends if you're not in halls. By your own admission it's difficult to make friends in societies, so I'd speak to the university about allowing you to stay in halls in second year. Pick the "party" halls too.
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coldplasma
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Societies are where you make all of your friends, OP.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Diego Costa)
In all honesty it's very difficult to make friends if you're not in halls. By your own admission it's difficult to make friends in societies, so I'd speak to the university about allowing you to stay in halls in second year. Pick the "party" halls too.
My uni is only 10 minutes away from home so I can't really justify spending thousands of pounds on rent when I literally live so close by if ygm?
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Analyst89
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Join clubs and societies at uni.

Join clubs out of interest outside of uni or go to meet up's, research online.
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coldplasma
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If you struggle to make friends in societies, OP, I would suggest trying other societies, and failing that, I would reflect on yourself to figure out what is turning people away from hanging out with you.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by coldplasma)
Societies are where you make all of your friends, OP.
Thats what everyone told me but I haven't met anyone at all. Like I'll chat and then exchange numbers but thats as far as it goes. I wanted to join a few more societies but everyone has already formed there little groups so I don't want to be the only loner who turns up alone..
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by coldplasma)
If you struggle to make friends in societies, OP, I would suggest trying other societies, and failing that, I would reflect on yourself to figure out what is turning people away from hanging out with you.
'Turning people away from hanging out with you'
Wow, kick a girl when she's down
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coldplasma
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(Original post by Anonymous)
'Turning people away from hanging out with you'
Wow, kick a girl when she's down
I'm not kicking you when you're down. If you're struggling to make friends, either you're picking the wrong people to be friends with, or there is something about you that people find difficult to get along with. It's only those two possibilities, and you seem to be dead set it's not the latter.

(Original post by Anonymous)
Thats what everyone told me but I haven't met anyone at all. Like I'll chat and then exchange numbers but thats as far as it goes. I wanted to join a few more societies but everyone has already formed there little groups so I don't want to be the only loner who turns up alone..
Why don't you want to be the loner who turns up alone? Why not just turn up each week regularly and start speaking to random people and groups. I feel this is why you're not making friends. Friendship groups made at the start of uni rarely last, you should be making new friends all the time with only a very select few who remain friends throughout your entire time there.
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999tigger
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Thats what everyone told me but I haven't met anyone at all. Like I'll chat and then exchange numbers but thats as far as it goes. I wanted to join a few more societies but everyone has already formed there little groups so I don't want to be the only loner who turns up alone..
Sources of friends imo:

Halls and accommodation - you dont have that option.

Coursemates/ tutorials - no group you sit with?.

Societies - You have to bite the bullet and go plus make an effort to introduce yourself and mingle/ take part. All part of socialising. It can be awkward as hell breaking into a group and may not be comfy for several weeks, but eventually they let you in. thats what the officers are for to make sure you get accepted.

Around campus- you say you turn up for lectures and then go home.

Outside Uni- but then its your home town, so you should know about that.

Other peoples networks. Once you have afew friends you cna break into their social networks.

If I were in your position I tend to talk to anyone of I am so minded.
I would do societies and stick at it.

The other thing I would try if I was in your position would be to cnnect with all the other students who are in a similar situation and I bet there are hundreds. I'd just advertise myself , say waht i was looking for and leave it open if anyone wnated to go for a drink, see a movie or just friendship up.

Not having friends would be too dull imo and it makes a big difference having someone to have lunch in the cafeteria with and chat about uni life. It will make uni seem like uni.

You need to make the effort and stick at it.
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coldplasma
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(Original post by 999tigger)
Other peoples networks. Once you have afew friends you cna break into their social networks.
Honestly this is the big thing. If you become a good friend with just one person out of a hundred, that person might invite you to a party or something with all their good friends and suddenly one friend becomes ten. You just gotta make that awkward first move, OP. A car doesn't start without someone to turn the ignition.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by 999tigger)
Sources of friends imo:

Halls and accommodation - you dont have that option.

Coursemates/ tutorials - no group you sit with?.

Societies - You have to bite the bullet and go plus make an effort to introduce yourself and mingle/ take part. All part of socialising. It can be awkward as hell breaking into a group and may not be comfy for several weeks, but eventually they let you in. thats what the officers are for to make sure you get accepted.

Around campus- you say you turn up for lectures and then go home.

Outside Uni- but then its your home town, so you should know about that.

Other peoples networks. Once you have afew friends you cna break into their social networks.

If I were in your position I tend to talk to anyone of I am so minded.
I would do societies and stick at it.

The other thing I would try if I was in your position would be to cnnect with all the other students who are in a similar situation and I bet there are hundreds. I'd just advertise myself , say waht i was looking for and leave it open if anyone wnated to go for a drink, see a movie or just friendship up.

Not having friends would be too dull imo and it makes a big difference having someone to have lunch in the cafeteria with and chat about uni life. It will make uni seem like uni.

You need to make the effort and stick at it.
Hey thanks for the list. In terms of coursemates/tutorials, I haven't made any friends. My lectures are just too big plus most people live on campus. They attend lecture/tutorials to learn so not much talking is done tbh
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999tigger
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Hey thanks for the list. In terms of coursemates/tutorials, I haven't made any friends. My lectures are just too big plus most people live on campus. They attend lecture/tutorials to learn so not much talking is done tbh

Its all about socialising, people sit in the same place all the time. Tiny bit late but social people can introduce themselves and break the ice. You should have no problem with people in tutorial groups.

Ask yourself whether you really are making an effort or making excuses?

There will be hundreds of people who commute and many more who havent made friends , but would like to. You just need to go and find them. They exist.
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z33
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go to a club lol
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coldplasma
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Hey thanks for the list. In terms of coursemates/tutorials, I haven't made any friends. My lectures are just too big plus most people live on campus. They attend lecture/tutorials to learn so not much talking is done tbh
Your problem is obvious. You talk about being an extrovert, but the vibe you're giving off right now is completely contradictory to that. Stop being a negative nancy "my lectures are too big to talk to anyone!!". Sounds like you're just scared to engage with them.
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coldplasma
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It's always funny to me when people complain that they can't have a social life at university, when the opportunities to meet new people are literally spoonfed to you 24/7. If you're having this much trouble at university, wait and see how much more difficult meeting new people gets in the real world. It's best to learn how to make friends properly now when you can safely mess up and find a new group of friends within the week.
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kaylababesxx
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i know how u feel cos i dont have any friends either but i dont talk to anyone either i just keep myself to myself there just no one like me out there and no one botheres with me so why should i bother with them??
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Larissa14
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What societies are you part of?
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Twinpeaks
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(Original post by Diego Costa)
In all honesty it's very difficult to make friends if you're not in halls. By your own admission it's difficult to make friends in societies, so I'd speak to the university about allowing you to stay in halls in second year. Pick the "party" halls too.
Rubbish. Most people only stick with their hall mates during Freshers before moving on and forming friendships with people who you actually have something in common with, besides being randomly assigned to a flat together. In fact the vast majority of people I knew moved in 2nd year with course mates or people who they met through other aspects of uni life, not halls.
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Diego Costa
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(Original post by Twinpeaks)
Rubbish. Most people only stick with their hall mates during Freshers before moving on and forming friendships with people who you actually have something in common with, besides being randomly assigned to a flat together. In fact the vast majority of people I knew moved in 2nd year with course mates or people who they met through other aspects of uni life, not halls.
Lol

I'm only going on my experiences, just as you're going on yours. It's massive levels of stupid to rubbish what someone saw first hand just because you didn't see it.
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