My Ex

Hiya.

I don't know what to do!

My boyfriend of 5 years broke up with me over a month ago now. He wanted to focus on his career and didn't want to be in a relationship.

Now, I'm confused. Things are pretty much the same as been in a relationship. He hear from him everyday, we see each other almost every week and we're still making plans about doing things with each other. His family even want to invite me round for dinner. We still send dirty texts to each other and share porn to watch.

The other day, things happended; he wanted me to give him a blow job. I did. It was both mutual as we still love each other. I felt mad at myself as my emotions took over. Afterwards, he kept saying that it was the last time and he swears it will never happen again. I felt really upset afterwards as he said it was the last time.

I'm just so confused!

Any comments would be appreciated!

Reply 1

Tyler Durden

17

Anonymous

Hiya.

I don't know what to do!

My boyfriend of 5 years broke up with me over a month ago now. He wanted to focus on his career and didn't want to be in a relationship.

Now, I'm confused. Things are pretty much the same as been in a relationship. He hear from him everyday, we see each other almost every week and we're still making plans about doing things with each other. His family even want to invite me round for dinner. We still send dirty texts to each other and share porn to watch.

The other day, things happended; he wanted me to give him a blow job. I did. It was both mutual as we still love each other. I felt mad at myself as my emotions took over. Afterwards, he kept saying that it was the last time and he swears it will never happen again. I felt really upset afterwards as he said it was the last time.

I'm just so confused!

Any comments would be appreciated!

Sorry, but there's nothing "mutual" about him dumping you, you then sucking him off, before he then clarifies that you're dumped by swearing that he'll never let you perform oral sex on him again... That sounds like a fairly poor state of affairs from your perspective.

My advice: forget about him, don't contact him and find yourself someone new (or enjoy being single).

Reply 2

Fluent in Lies

2

That's a level of manipulation that most men can only dream of.

As above, it doesn't sound like he wants the same things as you do.

Reply 3

Bramble

Well seeing as he dumped you shouldn't you have stopped seeing eachother? You probably love him still but that's no excuse for letting him walk all over you. My advice: delete his number, ignore his calls, don't see him anymore and move on. When a relationship ends I think it's best to sever all ties unless you both are capable and wanting to remain friends (i.e not jumping into bed together). He obviously doesn't want to get back into anything committed and just wants some snu snu whenever he feels like it, which isn't fair on you.

Reply 4

poetic_harriyot

Total 'Cold Turkey' - he sounds like a bit of a jerk!

Reply 5

Kagutsuchi

20

This is just plain manipulation. How some men can act like this I do not know. :frown:

Just cut off all contact and find someone else to hang out with, or just get on with your life. :smile:

Hope you can do that. :wink:

Reply 6

big?mark

So he doesnt want a relationship with you but he still wants oral sex from you? This boy is just messing you around!!! He's looking after himself and his own needs, i think you need to do the same.

Reply 7

KarlZ

I must agree with the majority on this one - I have no doubt that you love your EX bf very much, 5 years in a relationship is a very long time. The reason I say he is an EX in capital letters is because that is exactly what he is.......an EX!! He became an EX the moment he decided to dump you(obviously without bothering to have a heart felt talk with you to see what it was in your relationship that was making him unhappy and you both having a go at trying to make it work). He is being very unfair and manipulative - He doesnt want the commitment but wants to carry on and act as before. Tell me - How would you feel if (or should I say WHEN) he finds another grl? He wouldnt have a second thought about you because as far as he is concerned you are no longer together. I am sorry but I think the only course of action is shake this jerk and remind him that he needs to show you some respect. You NEED to sever all ties immediately (for example ignoring his calls, not making an effort to contact him) and let me tell you what will happen...... I guarentee you that a) He will either not bother/seemed bothered and you will realise how he was using you or b) He will come after you, demanding to know why you are ignoring him and if (and maybe when) he does you should tell him that even though you care deeply for him you deserve more from a man. He is willing for you to pleasure him sexually, be intimate and 'ACT' like his gf but you ARE NOT his gf. Therefore you are unwilling to be with someone who obviously doesnt care and treat you with the amount of love and respect that you should be getting. OR you can carry on playing to his tune and just wait until the day comes when he finally gets rid of you for good in favour of another girl. This all sounds harsh but to be honest its about time you heard the truth because he's obviously NOT willing to be honest and upfront with you.
I suggest you go to your friends and family for support and ask for their help in keeping you occupied and distracted and therefore stopping you from pining for him. You need to be strong. Who knows once he's realised exactly what hes lost he may come running back after a week of no contact but if you dont start gaining back your independence and showing that you will not be sticking around for this kinda treatment then your pretty much asking to be treated badly.
Come on grl, sort it out, You deserve the best!! :smile:

Reply 8

username47781

20

Stop talking to him, do you want to be used like this?

Reply 9

Tailz

9

OMG... THIS HAPPENED TO ME LOL. i had been with my ex for 2 years and then we split up but still had sex and everything like a couple for like a month after but then i found out he had been sleepin with other girls so i thought whats the point so i just stopped talking to him. BEST DECISION OF MY LIFE!

i now have my soulmate of 3 years who i love very much.

Reply 10

khil

15

Cut contact with him. He's a jerk. He basically wants you for sex but doesn't wanna commit.

Like, my sister's ex - he's a lovely guy and they're both Christians so sex wasn't on the table. Anyway, when they broke up, her ex kept acting as if they're still going out - like hugging her really closely, arm around shoulders, wanting to go to the graduation ball with her even though she had a date! - and my sister downright refused. She was like - No, you can't act like I'm your girlfriend when you won't commit to me and I won't let you act like I am your girlfriend because I am not. Basically the ex wanted her as his girlfriend in everything but name, so there's no responsibility and commitment but still gets all the attention etc.

Now they're friends, which is cool, and my sister has long since found someone else who's adorable :smile:

There're plenty more fish in the sea. Move on. Your ex sounds like a jerk. Have some dignity! You can do way better than your ex!

My Ex

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