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Leaving boyfriend for uni
Hey everyone, I was just wondering if there is anyone in the same boat as me. I've been going out with my boyfriend for four years (I'm 21, he's 22) and i'm moving away to start uni in september. I'll still see him at weekends and so on but i'm having mixed feeling. On the one hand I know i'll miss him a lot but on the other I actually feel excited at the chance to be independant and think it'll be good for our relationship to spend some time apart from each other. Talk about mixed emotions 
Reply 2
I know how you feel, mine left for uni last year and this year it's my turn- it is difficult at first but it can make it feel even more special when you do get to see each other. But yes it is exciting going away for a whole new experience. A lot of people are really pessimistic about LDRs but you can make it work- it's just not that easy sometimes. Don't feel guilty about feeling excited though! Good luck. 
sib
I understand your excitment, but it is worth throwing away a four year relationship?
We aren't breaking up, so i don't see how i'm throwing it away
and yeah i think going to uni is that important. Imagine if we decided to break up in the future and I had never had the experience of going to uni and was stuck stacking shelves or something?
To be fair, the title of the thread is misleading - when I opened it I thought I was going to find another thread about some weak-willed loser who was chucking away their relationship because of going to uni.
Anyway, I completely understand how you feel - in a way it's an advantage to be independent, get your uni work done and make new friends away from your partner without worrying that you're not spending enough time with them, and then you sort of feel guilty that there is a pseudo-advantage! Just take each day as it comes and you'll be fine
Anyway, I completely understand how you feel - in a way it's an advantage to be independent, get your uni work done and make new friends away from your partner without worrying that you're not spending enough time with them, and then you sort of feel guilty that there is a pseudo-advantage! Just take each day as it comes and you'll be fine
Reply 5
In the same boat - Im excited about goin to uni but my bf isnt because we wont see each other half as much and he says he will miss me. I know I will miss not being around him as much but I know goin is the best thing to do, I would regret not goin especially if we split up.
The independence will do you good, just make sure you make the effort with your man and all will be well, you'll have the best of both worlds
The independence will do you good, just make sure you make the effort with your man and all will be well, you'll have the best of both worlds
Aw thats great, thanks everyone for the positive responses! Just wanted to check that it wasn't just me in this position. Sorry about the misleading title! I just meant that i was leaving him at home whilst im moving away. I suppose i'll just have to stop feeling guilty and worrying about how he feels because its going to happen anyway whether i feel guilty or not. If he didn't like it he doesn't have to wait for me!
Reply 7
qubog
Hey everyone, I was just wondering if there is anyone in the same boat as me. I've been going out with my boyfriend for four years (I'm 21, he's 22) and i'm moving away to start uni in september. I'll still see him at weekends and so on but i'm having mixed feeling. On the one hand I know i'll miss him a lot but on the other I actually feel excited at the chance to be independant and think it'll be good for our relationship to spend some time apart from each other. Talk about mixed emotions
hey! yes i know how you feel...my bf is 24 and im 18 i love him very much and its going to be hard because he has his buisness and ill be away at uni...but its definately a goo dtest on the relationship and if we can survive it then u no that it was worht fighting for something...just go to uni have a good time, remember facebook and myspace are the way to go so keeping in touch wont be too hard but not seeing them as much will be!!but yeah having ur own independence will be nice and not being with them maybe url either realise how much u miss them or how well u do with out them!! haha xxx
Reply 8
I'm having very mixed feelings about it also.
It'll mean that we're 3 hours away from eachother, and he has a 9-5 job Monday to Friday so the only time we can see eachother is weekends. Even then, I won't be able to afford the ridiculously expensive train/bus fares home.
Also, I want to go out and enjoy University life at weekends.
He did say that he'd pay for me to travel up to see him and that he'd come down and see me but I just worry that eventually I'll become more and more busy with Uni and I won't be able to spare him entire weekends of my time and it'll fritter off.
I really don't want it to, but I can't expect a relationship to work if we only see eachother for small, sporadic periods. It worries me that we'll break up at a bad time - half-way through first year when I'm swamped with work, my friends are far away, my home is far away and there's nobody to turn to for solace.
On the other hand, in the midst of all this fresh new excitement and scary frontiers it'll be comforting to know that he's still there for me if things go badly.
It'll mean that we're 3 hours away from eachother, and he has a 9-5 job Monday to Friday so the only time we can see eachother is weekends. Even then, I won't be able to afford the ridiculously expensive train/bus fares home.
Also, I want to go out and enjoy University life at weekends.
He did say that he'd pay for me to travel up to see him and that he'd come down and see me but I just worry that eventually I'll become more and more busy with Uni and I won't be able to spare him entire weekends of my time and it'll fritter off.
I really don't want it to, but I can't expect a relationship to work if we only see eachother for small, sporadic periods. It worries me that we'll break up at a bad time - half-way through first year when I'm swamped with work, my friends are far away, my home is far away and there's nobody to turn to for solace.
On the other hand, in the midst of all this fresh new excitement and scary frontiers it'll be comforting to know that he's still there for me if things go badly.
Reply 10
Angelil
Sweeping statement, much? While you can't *expect* anything, you can both put the effort in and at least try...
Of course, but spending time together is an important part of any relationship and if that is largely removed from the equation then it may cause difficulties.
I'll just have to wait and see.
Reply 12
choco6
you're in a better position than those who don't get to see each other for months
I'm sure I am, but that doesn't make it any easier for me, knowing that other people have it harder.
I'm hungry just now but knowing that there are people starving in Brazil doesn't make me any less hungry.
Reply 13
hey!!i completely know how you feel. i've been with my bf for 3 years and im starting uni next month. I think going to uni is sort of a first big test in your relationship (along with moving in, holidays etc etc) if you can get through it then you can get through a lot i think!!!i agree that it's exciting and stuff and its only natural for circumstances etc to change and its a test of your relationship!dont feel guilty or anything about being excited, i am too!!!and you;ve got email, text, phome calls, webcam 
to keep in touch...the only thing that will really be different is that you cant touch them for a while!!!!good luck!!!
to keep in touch...the only thing that will really be different is that you cant touch them for a while!!!!good luck!!!Related discussions
- for people who met their partner after finishing uni - how did you meet?
- Am I just being used?
- Should I drop out and change universities?
- Should I stay with him!!
- Relationship advice/thoughts
- do i swap unis to be with my boyfriend
- Am I being a mug?
- Water based lube burns me
- Should I (20 M) break up with my boyfriend (20M) / are my new feelings genuine?
- Abuser making out I’m the abuser
- Should I break up with my boyfriend?
- struggling with ed in relationship
- Friends boyfriend potentially crushed on me!!??
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