Can a drunken kiss be forgiven? Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
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I've been with my boyfriend for a while now and our relationship was so great, we are best friends share everything, we've never had any significant issues and we are very much in love. My boyfriend resently told me he kissed a girl on a night out he said he was extremely drunk (even though it's not excuse) and that she was all over him, I'm at uni but we've been fine with it both really understanding. He didn't tell me for about a week after and lied to my face about it, when I found out and we spoke on the phone he was in tears knowing he's made a massive mistake and says it would never happen and that he will spend his whole life making it up to me, I've even spoken to his mum and she told me she's never seen him so devastated. He came to see me at uni to talk about it all and I still love him and have the same feelings for him as does he for me but a part of me is worried I won't be able to rebuilt that trust. I've told him I'm willing to give things a go and see if we are able to get back to the place we were, I'm just worried I'll be let down again. I was just wondering if anyone else had been in the situation and thinks I've made a good or bad decision based on their own experience.
Thanks x
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UWS
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It sounds hard and though it has never happened to me, I can try to give you some advice. I think forgiveness is one thing and you did mention that being drunk is no excuse. As you said, it takes time to rebuild trust and the fact that he lied to you about it, doesn't make things any better. It's normal to feel like this, but perhaps you just need some time to yourself for a bit to reflect over things. As long as you feel comfortable and not forced then you could give things another chance. Though having said that, I wouldn't be as forgiving but everyone is different.
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kaylababesxx
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#3
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u should forgive him cos its just a kiss and if he didnt like it then maybe it was peer pressure
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Nirvana1989-1994
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Him lying about it, makes it much worse tbh.
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physicst
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May be he is not that strong mentally so he lied, I think he love you very much so he afraid to lose you... IMO he deserve another chance...
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Kallisto
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When people are drunking, they may out of their mind. That is to say, they are not aware of what they really do. They didn't do that purposely. If a girlfriend of my own would do that purposely, I would have greater difficulties to forgive her. I would rather forgive a drunken kiss than betray kissing.
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claireestelle
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You ve no guarantee it won't happen again,I couldn't forgive that personally
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Reality Check
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I agree with Nirvana1989-1994 - the drunken kiss could have been forgiven, but lying to your face is unforgivable. If he can lie about this to your face, what else can he lie about...?

Sorry, but for me that level of deceit would be a dealbreaker.
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phunky_fresh
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#9
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I don't condone cheating at all. The lying part doesn't sit well with me. If he had come to you and told you right after it happened then I would say he feels 100% guilty about everything. That being said he sounds like he is truly sorry and at the end of the day it is your decision. If you feel like it is worth continuing your relationship and you want to rebuild the trust then go ahead. If you don't think it is worth it and the trust is gone then let this man go.
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YOLO BABY
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It depends on who you are really, eg I believe in seconds chances while my friend doesn't, he thinks you should dump him and move on with your life because he will **** up again.
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WhyKidz
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#11
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Who's to say he won't get drunk again and go further next time . . .
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SMEGGGY
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I've been with my boyfriend for a while now and our relationship was so great, we are best friends share everything, we've never had any significant issues and we are very much in love. My boyfriend resently told me he kissed a girl on a night out he said he was extremely drunk (even though it's not excuse) and that she was all over him, I'm at uni but we've been fine with it both really understanding. He didn't tell me for about a week after and lied to my face about it, when I found out and we spoke on the phone he was in tears knowing he's made a massive mistake and says it would never happen and that he will spend his whole life making it up to me, I've even spoken to his mum and she told me she's never seen him so devastated. He came to see me at uni to talk about it all and I still love him and have the same feelings for him as does he for me but a part of me is worried I won't be able to rebuilt that trust. I've told him I'm willing to give things a go and see if we are able to get back to the place we were, I'm just worried I'll be let down again. I was just wondering if anyone else had been in the situation and thinks I've made a good or bad decision based on their own experience.
Thanks x
Paragraphs!

Now, there is no excuse but he's devastated, and I'd try to forgive him but sit him down and ask him if he's drunk again how he'd deal witj the situation? As you say you'd always be suspicious. But I'd give it another go and see how it goes.

Posted from TSR Mobile
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Caeri
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#13
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Rebuilding trust is definitely going to be difficult. From my experience, boyfriends that lie do not react well to criticism (I.E saying you're going to leave him if he does that again, or just going nuts over it), it makes them lie more to the point where the relationship falls apart because it was built on lies. I think the kiss can be forgiven, I'm sure you're very hurt from it. I just hope he told you the full story. If you're like me, where your feelings are like a balloon and he's a needle, then I suggest cooling off for a day or two. People make mistakes, but the point is, he should learn from it. Be careful not to obsess over the girl he kissed either. Definitely express that you're hurt, but don't ever reach the point of anger. Definitely express your disappointment in him. If this continues being an issue for you (Still bugs you in your mind), tell him why it's still bothering you. I don't know how far you guys are into the relationship, but since you guys are like best friends then he should be able to understand you when you want to set boundaries for one another (Something I think many couples need to do).
If he parties all the time it will be hard for you to rebuild trust because your mind will start to over think. "Is he kissing another woman again?" "What if he's gone further and he's hiding things from me?"
Rebuilding trust is really hard, especially when they lie to your face and you just feel dumb for believing it. It can take 2-4 months to get over it (Only in my experience, however my situation was slightly different) but once those months pass, rebuilding trust will be easier
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Kallisto
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(Original post by claireestelle)
You ve no guarantee it won't happen again,I couldn't forgive that personally
Would you never forgive a stumble in a relationship, no matter what kind of stumble it is? a drunken kiss is the least what I can imagine.
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claireestelle
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(Original post by Kallisto)
Would you never forgive a stumble in a relationship, no matter what kind of stumble it is? a drunken kiss is the least what I can imagine.
No i would never forgive anything like that (or call it a stumble, choosing to cheat is not a stumble) , trust is very important and if that trust was gone i'd be taking my ring off/ getting a divorce. If people want to go round kissing people when they're drunk then why would they agree to being in a relationship in the first place?
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Ribbits
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Personally, I would forgive the kiss and the lying - sometimes people lie when they are really frightened and ashamed. He could genuinely be devastated and never want to lose you.

But, I would make it clear that he can not lie to you again or you will leave him. I would put more emphasis on the lying personally, lay it on heavy just how extreme of a crime that is because trust and true friendship is everything. I think he'd be less likely to cheat again too because he knows lying is not an option and it will stick in his mind even when he's drunk reasoning with himself (being horny and drunk, you might allow your passion to overrun your reason in a 'no one will know/I'll lie' way if you think 'I can't kiss people or I'll lose her' - but if you think 'I can't ever lie again or I will lose her' then you'd also think 'so I can't kiss this girl' and not do it).

Then if he lies again or cheats, forget it.

Edit: This isn't from personal experience with cheating though.
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Jackieox
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Forgive the kiss. Not the lies.
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BigMan Ting
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#18
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I think that's really harsh in my opinion (obv the lying bit is a deal breaker) but if it was one time only and they show remorse after they confessed to you then that should show you that they are really sincere and respect you to not hide things. It's happened to me once and I forgave them; sometimes it better to let things go than throw away something that might be special.
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Andy98
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#19
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I've been with my boyfriend for a while now and our relationship was so great, we are best friends share everything, we've never had any significant issues and we are very much in love. My boyfriend resently told me he kissed a girl on a night out he said he was extremely drunk (even though it's not excuse) and that she was all over him, I'm at uni but we've been fine with it both really understanding. He didn't tell me for about a week after and lied to my face about it, when I found out and we spoke on the phone he was in tears knowing he's made a massive mistake and says it would never happen and that he will spend his whole life making it up to me, I've even spoken to his mum and she told me she's never seen him so devastated. He came to see me at uni to talk about it all and I still love him and have the same feelings for him as does he for me but a part of me is worried I won't be able to rebuilt that trust. I've told him I'm willing to give things a go and see if we are able to get back to the place we were, I'm just worried I'll be let down again. I was just wondering if anyone else had been in the situation and thinks I've made a good or bad decision based on their own experience.
Thanks x
It's a kiss...
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username1884577
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#20
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I could forgive a kiss, yes.
Anything else, probably not.
If they did it again though, I'd be gone
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