Dealing with Oxbridge rejection
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Reply 80
When the eldest got rejected 3 years back, it was tough going. Romanticising about Oxford and how much fun it would be to study at one the best and oldest unis the country. Plus she also did UNIQ summer school there and loved it, which really hurt her when it was a no.
She had offers from Lancaster (2 unconditionals), York (conditional) and Leicester (conditional).
Lancaster was second on the list, and she watched you tuber 'watch devante' , 'alice does physics' 'charlie collette' (you tubers that went to Lancaster) and this really helped get over the Oxford rejection. Two weeks after the no, we was at Lancaster uni, walking round campus, going to the city and having lunch there. It really did help.
By April, she had joined the freshers groups on social media, and by the summer she was in a physics group chat at lancaster uni, did teams quizzes with them at home once a week, and they even had a meet up on August in Lancaster. Come September she couldnt wait to go, and it was 2020, restrictions was still in place, she was still looking forward to it.
She was determined to kick Oxfords butt and show what she was made of.
First year, it was online most of the time, and the lecturers were brilliant, often doing physics quizzes to test what you had learned, and one guy even entertained at the end of a session with a ukelele. She would have labs in person. Her supervisor, she got to know him and this is crucial. She would ask him, any internships?, any volunteering? and come by the summer, end of first year she did an online volunteering placement on particle physics working for DUNE.
Second year was a lot tougher, but the support was excellent. Her supervisor, she kept pressing him for an internship, and this time he gave her one at the uni, a paid one in proton decay. At the end of the internship, the findings she got was really good, and shes been asked to present this at an undergraduate conference this spring. And shes also been to a lot of careers fairs, even one in York uni. Support in careers and the course has been excellent.
I think if she had gone to Oxford, thinking about it now, she would have been a lot more stressed, and I really dont think she would have had time for internships first/second year at Oxford, which will be a great platform for her in the working world.
Its ok to be upset right now, but definitely start thinking about looking at your other choices, watching vids, paying a visit, things will start to look up.
She had offers from Lancaster (2 unconditionals), York (conditional) and Leicester (conditional).
Lancaster was second on the list, and she watched you tuber 'watch devante' , 'alice does physics' 'charlie collette' (you tubers that went to Lancaster) and this really helped get over the Oxford rejection. Two weeks after the no, we was at Lancaster uni, walking round campus, going to the city and having lunch there. It really did help.
By April, she had joined the freshers groups on social media, and by the summer she was in a physics group chat at lancaster uni, did teams quizzes with them at home once a week, and they even had a meet up on August in Lancaster. Come September she couldnt wait to go, and it was 2020, restrictions was still in place, she was still looking forward to it.
She was determined to kick Oxfords butt and show what she was made of.
First year, it was online most of the time, and the lecturers were brilliant, often doing physics quizzes to test what you had learned, and one guy even entertained at the end of a session with a ukelele. She would have labs in person. Her supervisor, she got to know him and this is crucial. She would ask him, any internships?, any volunteering? and come by the summer, end of first year she did an online volunteering placement on particle physics working for DUNE.
Second year was a lot tougher, but the support was excellent. Her supervisor, she kept pressing him for an internship, and this time he gave her one at the uni, a paid one in proton decay. At the end of the internship, the findings she got was really good, and shes been asked to present this at an undergraduate conference this spring. And shes also been to a lot of careers fairs, even one in York uni. Support in careers and the course has been excellent.
I think if she had gone to Oxford, thinking about it now, she would have been a lot more stressed, and I really dont think she would have had time for internships first/second year at Oxford, which will be a great platform for her in the working world.
Its ok to be upset right now, but definitely start thinking about looking at your other choices, watching vids, paying a visit, things will start to look up.
(edited 2 years ago)
Reply 81
I was rejected by Oxford University and it really sucks. The feeling of failing after putting so much time and effort into grades and the application is soul destroying in the weeks and months after. It's like going through the five stages of grief. I know that sounds really silly and exaggerated but Oxford was a dream. I haven't always been the smartest person in school, I got average GCSE's. When I came to A Levels I did well because I enjoyed my subjects. I have never been someone who's dreamt of Oxbridge since I was little, it only became a possibility after I did so well in year 12. But now that I am here, rejected after all this effort, I felt horrible. It makes me wish I never applied. It sent me on a spiral of thoughts about what I did wrong. It will be fine in the end, it always is.
Reply 82
Original post by Anonymous
I was rejected by Oxford University and it really sucks. The feeling of failing after putting so much time and effort into grades and the application is soul destroying in the weeks and months after. It's like going through the five stages of grief. I know that sounds really silly and exaggerated but Oxford was a dream. I haven't always been the smartest person in school, I got average GCSE's. When I came to A Levels I did well because I enjoyed my subjects. I have never been someone who's dreamt of Oxbridge since I was little, it only became a possibility after I did so well in year 12. But now that I am here, rejected after all this effort, I felt horrible. It makes me wish I never applied. It sent me on a spiral of thoughts about what I did wrong. It will be fine in the end, it always is.
You need time to process it. It sounds like you already are. This is a lesson in resilience. I guarantee you once you get to another university and you are immersed in that life with new friends, you won’t give Oxford a backward glance. Also it’s really not the right place for everyone. It’s a pressure cooker- with an incredibly intense workload. It’s really hard to get a work life balance there. Every Oxford student I know complains of burnout at some stage. It’s intensely competitive- not in a healthy way. For someone like you who blossomed a little later as a student and who is clearly sensitive, it could have been a very challenging place to be. I am not denying your sense of disappointment and sadness- those feelings are real. But as you say yourself it will turn out ok. Try not to dwell on it. Try to look forward to your other choices. You can always apply for a Masters there if you still feel this way in three years time. Focus on your great grades and how lucky your new Uni will be to get you and how confident you will feel there!
Reply 83
I was rejected from Oxford years ago but despite always being top of my class and among the cleverest 3 people in the year (all the way from reception to year 13) I never really wanted to apply. Despite being smart my intelligence is not the kind I thought would thrive at Oxford and I only really applied because I was pressured in a well meaning way by my dad. I did virtually no research into it and remember literally typing “what’s the best college for [my subject]” into google and then picking that college. Although I know all these years later that there’s not really such a thing as a best college for a subject because all students on a course get the same modules and lectures. Anyway, turns out that was the most competitive college for my subject and even though I’ll always been straight A/A* student, I didn’t have an A*A*A* prediction which I assume the top applicants to that college had so I was pooled to a different one for interviews. And that was the absolute nail in the coffin for me regarding Oxford. Because even though I didn’t really want to go the original college I applied to is central and old and I though on the off chance I got in that’s the kind of experience I would want: the old dining room, historic college and being right in town. Instead I was pooled to St Hugh’s which I didn’t like at all, it’s much more modern and isn’t central either. My first interview was alright, I could answer most things but I wouldn’t say it was a particularly standout or spectacular interview. It was the second one which definitely guaranteed my rejection: they asked me to solve a problem which had barely been covered in my A level syllabus. And this wasn’t something you could ever just work out or know on intuition, this is something you would have to be taught to know how to do. Maybe if I had done loads more independent study and extra reading round my subject at A level I would have been more familiar with this but I didn’t and so I was unable to answer it. The interviewers basically just sat there in silence and watched me squirm at trying to figure it out, they gave no guidance or hints and after was over I knew with certainty I’d be rejected. But given I had never really wanted to apply plus being pooled to a college I really didn’t want to go to it wasn’t so much of a blow. However, it was still difficult to process a rejection because academically I’ve pretty much always succeeded and rejections just weren’t something that “happened to me”.
Anyway, I ended up going to a uni which is still in the world top 10 and the irony is that the stuff I hadn’t known in the interview and which was never covered much at A level was taught to us in the first term of first year. I ended up specialising in that area (not as a way to “get back” at Oxford, rather because I genuinely enjoyed it), got a first in my degree and went on to do get a doctorate in that area as well. I now have a very good job working in that field and doing the stuff I was rejected for on a daily basis. And I had such an amazing time at the uni I went to that I never really thought about Oxford again and realised I would have hated the needlessly intense terms and would have had essentially no time to just relax and enjoy the city and its surroundings.
And something else I now know is that in the workplace no one gives a toss which uni you went to and some of the best/smartest colleagues went to stereotypically second rate unis. I also have colleagues who did their degrees and doctorates in Oxford and I can hand on heart say they are no better or smarter than anyone else. They don’t know more about the field than I do, we were all taught the same stuff and they don’t stand out as being particularly amazing or more talented than others who got the same degree elsewhere. So in most cases you will love where you end up going and may even be glad you didn’t go to Oxford.
Anyway, I ended up going to a uni which is still in the world top 10 and the irony is that the stuff I hadn’t known in the interview and which was never covered much at A level was taught to us in the first term of first year. I ended up specialising in that area (not as a way to “get back” at Oxford, rather because I genuinely enjoyed it), got a first in my degree and went on to do get a doctorate in that area as well. I now have a very good job working in that field and doing the stuff I was rejected for on a daily basis. And I had such an amazing time at the uni I went to that I never really thought about Oxford again and realised I would have hated the needlessly intense terms and would have had essentially no time to just relax and enjoy the city and its surroundings.
And something else I now know is that in the workplace no one gives a toss which uni you went to and some of the best/smartest colleagues went to stereotypically second rate unis. I also have colleagues who did their degrees and doctorates in Oxford and I can hand on heart say they are no better or smarter than anyone else. They don’t know more about the field than I do, we were all taught the same stuff and they don’t stand out as being particularly amazing or more talented than others who got the same degree elsewhere. So in most cases you will love where you end up going and may even be glad you didn’t go to Oxford.
Reply 84
Original post by Anonymous
I was rejected by Oxford University and it really sucks. The feeling of failing after putting so much time and effort into grades and the application is soul destroying in the weeks and months after. It's like going through the five stages of grief. I know that sounds really silly and exaggerated but Oxford was a dream. I haven't always been the smartest person in school, I got average GCSE's. When I came to A Levels I did well because I enjoyed my subjects. I have never been someone who's dreamt of Oxbridge since I was little, it only became a possibility after I did so well in year 12. But now that I am here, rejected after all this effort, I felt horrible. It makes me wish I never applied. It sent me on a spiral of thoughts about what I did wrong. It will be fine in the end, it always is.
Rejected from Cambridge, the decision hurt bad even though I tried to prepare myself for the worst. Idk whether I should give it another go as I was so close and can’t stop thinking about what could have gone wrong😓
Reply 85
Original post by 12Vbux
Rejected from Cambridge, the decision hurt bad even though I tried to prepare myself for the worst. Idk whether I should give it another go as I was so close and can’t stop thinking about what could have gone wrong😓
I’m sorry. It hurts right? I think if you reapply- which plenty of people do, it would be good to have clarity about how you think you could do better. Interview technique? More extra curricular preparation? More clarity around why you want to do this subject? More prep for the exam? If you feel you could improve in some areas and you have the drive to do so then pick another college and go for it. If you feel you genuinely gave it your all then it’s Cambridge’s loss. Move on. My great mantra in life is go where the energy is. If it enlivens you to have another go then do it. There’s no wrong decision at this stage or any stage of life. We are all doing the best we can with the consciousness that we have at that moment.
(edited 2 years ago)
Reply 86
Original post by EmeraldIsla
I’m sorry. It hurts right? I think if you reapply- which plenty of people do, it would be good to have clarity about how you think you could do better. Interview technique? More extra curricular preparation? More clarity around why you want to do this subject? More prep for the exam? If you feel you could improve in some areas and you have the drive to do so then pick another college and go for it. If you feel you genuinely gave it your all then it’s Cambridge’s loss. Move on. My great mantra in life is go where the energy is. If it enlivens you to have another go then do it. There’s no wrong decision at this stage or any stage of life. We are all doing the best we can with the consciousness that we have at that moment.
I might enrol at my second choice and reapply whilst I’m there, I double checked to make sure application will be considered the same as other applicants. If I have to be honest I didn’t give it my all, too much was going on for me to have spent enough time on preparation for the assessments and interviews, I didn’t expect to even be pooled.
Everything else was fine, predicted grades were good and so was my personal statement, I’ll probably just have to reflect on the feedback given and hopefully spend good time for preparation.
Worst case scenario I get rejected again but at least this time I would’ve given my best shot and would be able to make my peace with it and I’ll just carry on where I ended up or maybe a better uni from the 5 choices I’ll be picking.
thank you so much, you’ve helped me more than you know <3
Reply 87
Original post by 12Vbux
Rejected from Cambridge, the decision hurt bad even though I tried to prepare myself for the worst. Idk whether I should give it another go as I was so close and can’t stop thinking about what could have gone wrong😓
firstly i am sorry you were rejected from cambridge university. what ive learnt is that there is nothing you've done wrong. i think we as oxbridge applicants become so trapped in our own world, our own bubble and work and work on producing the best application possible, we forget that we are applying to the best universities in the world, people from across the world compete for places, the fact that you got an interview is honestly an incredible achievement in itself, well done. like i said before, oxbridge is incredibly competitive and tutors pick applicants on very very small details, so its okay its not a reflection on you. should you re-apply? it depends, do you have a good university lined up for september 2023? if you truly feel as though you want to, you can try, but there is always the possibility of another rejection. i would suggest shooting for a cambridge masters degree if you still feel that burning passion for it after your undergrad! all will be okay, all will be okay (coming from an oxford reject!)
Reply 88
Bumping this thread for anyone who might need it. I'm currently happily pursuing a PhD in the US!
Reply 89
I got rejected yesterday for History and French and feel quite awful (that’s an understatement). I’ve been avoiding the main forum because I’m so embarrassed with myself, especially because I didn’t even make it to the interview point. My mum has been trying to cheer me up by telling me I worked really hard and tried my best, but that makes me feel even worse because then it means that even my best isn’t good enough.
I don’t live in the UK so Oxford was exciting firstly because of the academic intensity, but secondly because of the chance to discover something completely unlike anything I’d seen before. I love my family very much, but I don’t want to spend the rest of my life where I am now. The field that I’m most interested in also has a lot of development happening in Europe right now.
Like many rejected applicants I’ve had the idea of going to Oxford for some time. I committed to it when I was 15 after I - without going into detail here - had a significant mental breakdown that led to me being absent from school for a year and a half. In a way I saw getting in as a way to ‘prove’ to myself that despite everything, I was good enough. Now that it hasn’t happened, I feel myself slipping back into that unhealthy space which I know isn’t right for me.
I don’t know what I’m meant to do now because I had this one idea of my future in my mind for so long. I know it’s not wise to make any rash decision, especially because I don’t get my final school results until next month, but I can’t help ruminating on various possibilities. I have an offer from my home state, but as mentioned earlier, I don’t really want to stay here. I also have two so far from other UK uni’s (Exeter and St.Andrews) but neither enthrall me in the way Oxford’s course does. Of course a strong part of me wants to reapply - I have to admit that a part of it is because I don’t want to let go of this dream, but legitimately I think I would be able to make a stronger application (ie not just doing it all the same again and hoping for the best). The application timeline meant that I was writing my personal statement in the time leading up to my final exams and then doing my admissions tests in the middle of them. Almost certainly without these distractions I would be able to perform better. On the other hand though I don’t feel like I deserve to reapply because I didn’t even make it to interview, perhaps it’s arrogant of me to even contemplate the idea.
As is likely evident it’s all still a bit fresh for me right now. I’m hoping one day I’ll wake up and I won't feel as empty.
I don’t live in the UK so Oxford was exciting firstly because of the academic intensity, but secondly because of the chance to discover something completely unlike anything I’d seen before. I love my family very much, but I don’t want to spend the rest of my life where I am now. The field that I’m most interested in also has a lot of development happening in Europe right now.
Like many rejected applicants I’ve had the idea of going to Oxford for some time. I committed to it when I was 15 after I - without going into detail here - had a significant mental breakdown that led to me being absent from school for a year and a half. In a way I saw getting in as a way to ‘prove’ to myself that despite everything, I was good enough. Now that it hasn’t happened, I feel myself slipping back into that unhealthy space which I know isn’t right for me.
I don’t know what I’m meant to do now because I had this one idea of my future in my mind for so long. I know it’s not wise to make any rash decision, especially because I don’t get my final school results until next month, but I can’t help ruminating on various possibilities. I have an offer from my home state, but as mentioned earlier, I don’t really want to stay here. I also have two so far from other UK uni’s (Exeter and St.Andrews) but neither enthrall me in the way Oxford’s course does. Of course a strong part of me wants to reapply - I have to admit that a part of it is because I don’t want to let go of this dream, but legitimately I think I would be able to make a stronger application (ie not just doing it all the same again and hoping for the best). The application timeline meant that I was writing my personal statement in the time leading up to my final exams and then doing my admissions tests in the middle of them. Almost certainly without these distractions I would be able to perform better. On the other hand though I don’t feel like I deserve to reapply because I didn’t even make it to interview, perhaps it’s arrogant of me to even contemplate the idea.
As is likely evident it’s all still a bit fresh for me right now. I’m hoping one day I’ll wake up and I won't feel as empty.
Reply 90
Sorry to hear of your disappointment but congratulations on the two offers you have been given. Both are excellent universities to study at. Would you considered taking up one of these universities to do a Bachelor course, then apply for a Masters at Oxford if that is still your dream in 3 years time? Look at the rejection as a redirection.
Reply 91
Original post by closetarchivist
I got rejected yesterday for History and French and feel quite awful (that’s an understatement). I’ve been avoiding the main forum because I’m so embarrassed with myself, especially because I didn’t even make it to the interview point. My mum has been trying to cheer me up by telling me I worked really hard and tried my best, but that makes me feel even worse because then it means that even my best isn’t good enough.
I don’t live in the UK so Oxford was exciting firstly because of the academic intensity, but secondly because of the chance to discover something completely unlike anything I’d seen before. I love my family very much, but I don’t want to spend the rest of my life where I am now. The field that I’m most interested in also has a lot of development happening in Europe right now.
Like many rejected applicants I’ve had the idea of going to Oxford for some time. I committed to it when I was 15 after I - without going into detail here - had a significant mental breakdown that led to me being absent from school for a year and a half. In a way I saw getting in as a way to ‘prove’ to myself that despite everything, I was good enough. Now that it hasn’t happened, I feel myself slipping back into that unhealthy space which I know isn’t right for me.
I don’t know what I’m meant to do now because I had this one idea of my future in my mind for so long. I know it’s not wise to make any rash decision, especially because I don’t get my final school results until next month, but I can’t help ruminating on various possibilities. I have an offer from my home state, but as mentioned earlier, I don’t really want to stay here. I also have two so far from other UK uni’s (Exeter and St.Andrews) but neither enthrall me in the way Oxford’s course does. Of course a strong part of me wants to reapply - I have to admit that a part of it is because I don’t want to let go of this dream, but legitimately I think I would be able to make a stronger application (ie not just doing it all the same again and hoping for the best). The application timeline meant that I was writing my personal statement in the time leading up to my final exams and then doing my admissions tests in the middle of them. Almost certainly without these distractions I would be able to perform better. On the other hand though I don’t feel like I deserve to reapply because I didn’t even make it to interview, perhaps it’s arrogant of me to even contemplate the idea.
As is likely evident it’s all still a bit fresh for me right now. I’m hoping one day I’ll wake up and I won't feel as empty.
I don’t live in the UK so Oxford was exciting firstly because of the academic intensity, but secondly because of the chance to discover something completely unlike anything I’d seen before. I love my family very much, but I don’t want to spend the rest of my life where I am now. The field that I’m most interested in also has a lot of development happening in Europe right now.
Like many rejected applicants I’ve had the idea of going to Oxford for some time. I committed to it when I was 15 after I - without going into detail here - had a significant mental breakdown that led to me being absent from school for a year and a half. In a way I saw getting in as a way to ‘prove’ to myself that despite everything, I was good enough. Now that it hasn’t happened, I feel myself slipping back into that unhealthy space which I know isn’t right for me.
I don’t know what I’m meant to do now because I had this one idea of my future in my mind for so long. I know it’s not wise to make any rash decision, especially because I don’t get my final school results until next month, but I can’t help ruminating on various possibilities. I have an offer from my home state, but as mentioned earlier, I don’t really want to stay here. I also have two so far from other UK uni’s (Exeter and St.Andrews) but neither enthrall me in the way Oxford’s course does. Of course a strong part of me wants to reapply - I have to admit that a part of it is because I don’t want to let go of this dream, but legitimately I think I would be able to make a stronger application (ie not just doing it all the same again and hoping for the best). The application timeline meant that I was writing my personal statement in the time leading up to my final exams and then doing my admissions tests in the middle of them. Almost certainly without these distractions I would be able to perform better. On the other hand though I don’t feel like I deserve to reapply because I didn’t even make it to interview, perhaps it’s arrogant of me to even contemplate the idea.
As is likely evident it’s all still a bit fresh for me right now. I’m hoping one day I’ll wake up and I won't feel as empty.
I’m sorry you are feeling this way. It is hard when it’s been a dream of yours. And it sounds like you have been through some tough times to get to this point. I have two observations: you are extremely hard on yourself. Of course you “deserve” to reapply if that’s what you decide is the best thing to do. I would do a little work on how you view yourself. Oxford can be a brutal place if you don’t have a healthy self image. It’s not the right place for everyone. And I would think about what is really motivating you to go there. What Oxford are looking for is a real passion for your subject. Nothing else. It sounds like giving yourself time and space to reapply might be worthwhile. But see how you feel in a few months. Be kind to yourself now. As the previous poster says you have two excellent places already. It’s not all bad at all.
Reply 92
16
Original post by closetarchivist
I got rejected yesterday for History and French and feel quite awful (that’s an understatement). I’ve been avoiding the main forum because I’m so embarrassed with myself, especially because I didn’t even make it to the interview point. My mum has been trying to cheer me up by telling me I worked really hard and tried my best, but that makes me feel even worse because then it means that even my best isn’t good enough.
I don’t live in the UK so Oxford was exciting firstly because of the academic intensity, but secondly because of the chance to discover something completely unlike anything I’d seen before. I love my family very much, but I don’t want to spend the rest of my life where I am now. The field that I’m most interested in also has a lot of development happening in Europe right now.
Like many rejected applicants I’ve had the idea of going to Oxford for some time. I committed to it when I was 15 after I - without going into detail here - had a significant mental breakdown that led to me being absent from school for a year and a half. In a way I saw getting in as a way to ‘prove’ to myself that despite everything, I was good enough. Now that it hasn’t happened, I feel myself slipping back into that unhealthy space which I know isn’t right for me.
I don’t know what I’m meant to do now because I had this one idea of my future in my mind for so long. I know it’s not wise to make any rash decision, especially because I don’t get my final school results until next month, but I can’t help ruminating on various possibilities. I have an offer from my home state, but as mentioned earlier, I don’t really want to stay here. I also have two so far from other UK uni’s (Exeter and St.Andrews) but neither enthrall me in the way Oxford’s course does. Of course a strong part of me wants to reapply - I have to admit that a part of it is because I don’t want to let go of this dream, but legitimately I think I would be able to make a stronger application (ie not just doing it all the same again and hoping for the best). The application timeline meant that I was writing my personal statement in the time leading up to my final exams and then doing my admissions tests in the middle of them. Almost certainly without these distractions I would be able to perform better. On the other hand though I don’t feel like I deserve to reapply because I didn’t even make it to interview, perhaps it’s arrogant of me to even contemplate the idea.
As is likely evident it’s all still a bit fresh for me right now. I’m hoping one day I’ll wake up and I won't feel as empty.
I don’t live in the UK so Oxford was exciting firstly because of the academic intensity, but secondly because of the chance to discover something completely unlike anything I’d seen before. I love my family very much, but I don’t want to spend the rest of my life where I am now. The field that I’m most interested in also has a lot of development happening in Europe right now.
Like many rejected applicants I’ve had the idea of going to Oxford for some time. I committed to it when I was 15 after I - without going into detail here - had a significant mental breakdown that led to me being absent from school for a year and a half. In a way I saw getting in as a way to ‘prove’ to myself that despite everything, I was good enough. Now that it hasn’t happened, I feel myself slipping back into that unhealthy space which I know isn’t right for me.
I don’t know what I’m meant to do now because I had this one idea of my future in my mind for so long. I know it’s not wise to make any rash decision, especially because I don’t get my final school results until next month, but I can’t help ruminating on various possibilities. I have an offer from my home state, but as mentioned earlier, I don’t really want to stay here. I also have two so far from other UK uni’s (Exeter and St.Andrews) but neither enthrall me in the way Oxford’s course does. Of course a strong part of me wants to reapply - I have to admit that a part of it is because I don’t want to let go of this dream, but legitimately I think I would be able to make a stronger application (ie not just doing it all the same again and hoping for the best). The application timeline meant that I was writing my personal statement in the time leading up to my final exams and then doing my admissions tests in the middle of them. Almost certainly without these distractions I would be able to perform better. On the other hand though I don’t feel like I deserve to reapply because I didn’t even make it to interview, perhaps it’s arrogant of me to even contemplate the idea.
As is likely evident it’s all still a bit fresh for me right now. I’m hoping one day I’ll wake up and I won't feel as empty.
Sorry to hear it. Losing something that you have wanted for so long, and that you have put so much work towards is going to be really difficult for you. Best wishes for whatever you decide to do.
Reply 93
Original post by closetarchivist
I got rejected yesterday for History and French and feel quite awful (that’s an understatement). I’ve been avoiding the main forum because I’m so embarrassed with myself, especially because I didn’t even make it to the interview point. My mum has been trying to cheer me up by telling me I worked really hard and tried my best, but that makes me feel even worse because then it means that even my best isn’t good enough.
I don’t live in the UK so Oxford was exciting firstly because of the academic intensity, but secondly because of the chance to discover something completely unlike anything I’d seen before. I love my family very much, but I don’t want to spend the rest of my life where I am now. The field that I’m most interested in also has a lot of development happening in Europe right now.
Like many rejected applicants I’ve had the idea of going to Oxford for some time. I committed to it when I was 15 after I - without going into detail here - had a significant mental breakdown that led to me being absent from school for a year and a half. In a way I saw getting in as a way to ‘prove’ to myself that despite everything, I was good enough. Now that it hasn’t happened, I feel myself slipping back into that unhealthy space which I know isn’t right for me.
I don’t know what I’m meant to do now because I had this one idea of my future in my mind for so long. I know it’s not wise to make any rash decision, especially because I don’t get my final school results until next month, but I can’t help ruminating on various possibilities. I have an offer from my home state, but as mentioned earlier, I don’t really want to stay here. I also have two so far from other UK uni’s (Exeter and St.Andrews) but neither enthrall me in the way Oxford’s course does. Of course a strong part of me wants to reapply - I have to admit that a part of it is because I don’t want to let go of this dream, but legitimately I think I would be able to make a stronger application (ie not just doing it all the same again and hoping for the best). The application timeline meant that I was writing my personal statement in the time leading up to my final exams and then doing my admissions tests in the middle of them. Almost certainly without these distractions I would be able to perform better. On the other hand though I don’t feel like I deserve to reapply because I didn’t even make it to interview, perhaps it’s arrogant of me to even contemplate the idea.
As is likely evident it’s all still a bit fresh for me right now. I’m hoping one day I’ll wake up and I won't feel as empty.
I don’t live in the UK so Oxford was exciting firstly because of the academic intensity, but secondly because of the chance to discover something completely unlike anything I’d seen before. I love my family very much, but I don’t want to spend the rest of my life where I am now. The field that I’m most interested in also has a lot of development happening in Europe right now.
Like many rejected applicants I’ve had the idea of going to Oxford for some time. I committed to it when I was 15 after I - without going into detail here - had a significant mental breakdown that led to me being absent from school for a year and a half. In a way I saw getting in as a way to ‘prove’ to myself that despite everything, I was good enough. Now that it hasn’t happened, I feel myself slipping back into that unhealthy space which I know isn’t right for me.
I don’t know what I’m meant to do now because I had this one idea of my future in my mind for so long. I know it’s not wise to make any rash decision, especially because I don’t get my final school results until next month, but I can’t help ruminating on various possibilities. I have an offer from my home state, but as mentioned earlier, I don’t really want to stay here. I also have two so far from other UK uni’s (Exeter and St.Andrews) but neither enthrall me in the way Oxford’s course does. Of course a strong part of me wants to reapply - I have to admit that a part of it is because I don’t want to let go of this dream, but legitimately I think I would be able to make a stronger application (ie not just doing it all the same again and hoping for the best). The application timeline meant that I was writing my personal statement in the time leading up to my final exams and then doing my admissions tests in the middle of them. Almost certainly without these distractions I would be able to perform better. On the other hand though I don’t feel like I deserve to reapply because I didn’t even make it to interview, perhaps it’s arrogant of me to even contemplate the idea.
As is likely evident it’s all still a bit fresh for me right now. I’m hoping one day I’ll wake up and I won't feel as empty.
Hey,
I'm really sorry to read this. You have nothing to be embarrassed about at all, though I appreciate a stranger off the Internet saying that doesn't change how you feel.
It may sting for quite a while but I am confident that as you begin to consider other options and especially if you decide to go to another uni, you will one day be able to put this all behind you, slowly. It's hard when you've put everything into an application and then it doesn't work out, but it could well be a blessing in disguise - especially given your mental health history. Oxford terms are ferocious and stop for nothing and no one. If you get behind on the work for any reason, it is impossible to catch up during term-time, and that can make things worse.
I always advise those with pre-existing mental health conditions to think very carefully before applying to Oxford, and then before accepting an Oxford offer. Reasonable adjustments - particular for exams - don't work the same way at Oxbridge as they do at other UK unis. If you do decide to reapply, everyone here will cheer you on and support you! But your health and happiness are the two most important things, always ❤️
Hang on in there if you can, and do reach out to people about how you're feeling. Try not to let mental health stuff snowball or mount up
Feel free to PM me if you think I can help at all 🙂Reply 94
@04MR17 , I've just realised that this thread may fall foul to the new incoming rules about bumping old threads. Would it be possible to sticky this thread, as it's a very useful, heartwarming and important contribution to TSR's Oxford subforum? So that it's there for posterity? 🙂
Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd
@04MR17 , I've just realised that this thread may fall foul to the new incoming rules about bumping old threads. Would it be possible to sticky this thread, as it's a very useful, heartwarming and important contribution to TSR's Oxford subforum? So that it's there for posterity? 🙂
Your bump now should resolve this issue for a further 6-12 months, but if you quote me later I can sticky it somewhere
(edited 1 year ago)
Reply 96
Original post by 04MR17
Your bump now should resolve this issue for a further 6-12 months, but if you quote me later I can sticky it somewhere
You're the best! Thank you
Reply 97
12
i got rejected from oxford a week ago and i’m currently feeling really really down. especially because i have friends that got in. but seeing your update really made me feel better. getting rejected doesn’t mean i can never be happy and the world won’t end because of it. so yeah. thank you!
Reply 98
Hope everyone is doing all right today.
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