So confused

Right, I've posted about the girl in question before, but to quickly recap, I really really like her, I thought she had feelings for me but I think I've misinterpreted the signals.

She was extremely forward with me, to be honest all the classic signals were there, lots of physical contact, glances towards my eyes, somewhat flirty. However I think maybe it's just the way she is with everyone -- I've really never had a girl behave like that towards me without me first initiating. More than a few random people on nights out thought we were a couple so I suppose that I haven't been too silly to misread this.

Anyway, she was chatting to other guys last night, and I think that's when I decided it really isn't going anywhere.

There's a part of me that thinks that it's because I never reciprocated with her flirting really or made a move and she's just given up on me. But then there's the other, more rational side of me which thinks that it's never going to happen and I've just misread the signals. She is a very good looking girl and I'm not very good looking myself. She can get pretty much any guy she wants if she tries which is the thing which is really making me questioning it.

To be honest I think the best course of action is for me to calm down the contact with her because every time I see her I can't stop thinking about anything else for days after. Yet she's always texting me and inviting me to do stuff and I don't want to seem like an arse - she hasn't done anything wrong. How can I calm it down?

Anyway, I feel better for just writing it down and getting it off my chest. I can't go on like this.

Reply 1

Innuendo_anonymous

Well from the sound of it she does like you and it sounds like you like her. So really, I'd suggest you talk to her about what is happening between you two and whether its more than just a friendship. Or something along those lines. It seems like the best approach for your situation to me.

Reply 2

khil

You what...? So, you're saying you should just give up on this girl because obviously she can't possibly like you, therefore you should just give up and whatever evidence that proves the contrary MUST simply be a misinterpretation?

Please, can you honestly not see how irrational you're being?

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. There have been people who's disliked my ex's looks and there have been people who think that he's drop-dead gorgeous. And which of them is right? It's all subjective. My best friend thinks my boyfriend isn't very good-looking, I find him drop-dead gorgeous. Just cus you don't think you're very good-looking does not mean she doesn't think you are.

In any case, she sounds like she likes you. How're you meant to know if you don't ask her? If you don't respond, then yes it's not gonna go anywhere so you might as well give up. But why lose a lovely girl whom you're crazy about, who could be crazy about you, JUST because you don't have the confidence? If you don't get the girl it's not because she doesn't like you right now, but it's solely because you're not doing anything about it. Opportunities don't wait forever - leap for it, grab it and give it a go. What's the worse that can happen? Crash and burn? No. Tell yourself - even if she rejects you, you will NOT allow yourself to crash and burn. You pick yourself up and you carry on, and the first step to doing that is believing that you can.

I go by the motto of - I'd rather die trying than never to have tried. I'd rather know, even if the answer is not what I wanted, than to never know. At least then I can do something about it.

That's why I have a quote in my sig - someone on TSR said, "If you have to go down, you better go down fighting, or you'll never forgive yourself." And it's true. I don't wanna wonder about "what if?" - I wanna KNOW. So just go for it.

Reply 3

joeawful

You're probably both right. I do need to talk to her.

It's just the way recently she has been so obvious about chatting to other guys which is really thinking I should just leave it and don't make the friendship really awkward (which it might be if i do talk to her). I mean she tells me about 'how fit xyz is' without flinching.