ex-girlfriend issue

Ok, basically my girlfriend broke up with me almost 2 months ago after a relationship of almost 2 years, she said the pressures of a relationship were stressing her out. Anyway, following the break up we had a huge argument and she said she never wanted to speak to me again and i shouldn't contact her.
But last week she spoke to me online and basically said she wanted us to be friends despite the argument. She also went on to say that sometimes she really misses me a lot and started to realise how much time we spent together.

The thing is we were ridiculously close and were always together, so as you can imagine the break up was really hard on me and i guess it got to her too. But she went on to say that we can never be together again and that our friendship has to start slowly. The thing is she says this and then the following day contacts me to find out how my A levels went and what's going on with uni (i'm actually now going to the same uni as she is). She also starts conversations with me online and would say things like "are you too afraid to start a conversation with me?". I really don't know what she's trying to tell me with all this, because i really want her back but i don't know what to do. I miss her so much and think about texting her all the time but i really don't know whether i should or not due to her saying the friendship needs to start slow, but yet she speaks to me online and we get on really well. What should i do and what is she telling me?

Reply 1

DodgyTrousers

7

From the outside, where perspective is maybe clearer, all this is in your head I'm afraid.

She sounds like she's trying to make you a friend, rather than have that awkward silence / outright hostility that being exes can generate. I don't think she's trying to get back together with you at all, and you are just seeing evidence of her genuine affection for you. This is not the same as a desire to be in a relationship with you though!

I know it's hard, but at some point you have to let go and move on. Hell, moping around sniffing after her just makes you less attractive, both to other women and even to her. Sure she may like the ego boost, but it robs you of your masculinity.

Your best course of action, in my opinion, is to remain on speaking terms with her and stop chasing. If she's interested in anything else, she'll chase you eventually, but you really should just get on with your life in case I'm right.

Reply 2

Nalced

14

Women, can't live with them, can't live without them.

I'm going in some girl problems also. We've been together for about 3 months and recently she seems more interested in my wallet than me. So I'm kinda annoyed and I sence mistrust, feel used.

I say, with your girl problem, try and be her friend. Like the chap above. Best of Luck.

Reply 3

username47781

20

Sounds like she isn't too sure what she wants, either that or she is just messing you around.

Reply 4

prettygreeneyes99

9

Hmm well if your getting confused by the signals then you should tell her.. alot of people end relationships with the intent to stay friends, but I think unless the break up was completely mutual and ended on a happy note then friendship straight afterwards just causes stress... Id suggest if you really want to stay friends you should try to cut all contact for a month or two and then it'll probably be much easier :smile:

Reply 5

brokenangel

16

reply to her when she talks to you online and occasionally start a conversation with her just generally dont push things

Reply 6

--

3

It sounds like you're making the age-old mistake of misunderstanding the friendly motives of an ex. She isn't interested in a relationship so it's not worth getting worked up over, if you can't handle being friends with her without always thinking/hoping that she wants to get back with you, then maybe you should avoid her until you're over her.

ex-girlfriend issue

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