Bit of a rant really

(Mods please don't de-anon this as my family/friends read this forum - cheers :cool:

)

Hi people, hope you're all well and good.

I'm feeling a leetle rubbish at the moment. My story in a nutshell: I've just finished my AS exams and this year should be applying for medicine. I didn't do as well as I hoped (although my grades were still good and should be OK for most med courses *touch wood*) and so this has caused me to rethink my uni choices.

I had wanted to apply to Cambridge but now seeing as you have to declare your unit grades (mine are very low in comparison with other applicants) I don't think I would stand much chance of getting an interview, let alone a place (I'm also not very good in interviews). I like the course there but I feel that I'm just not clever enough to get in/if i did get in, to be able to keep up with the work, especially for Med. (My brother got in, had to work most holidays to catch up work and dropped out after a year because he hated his course)

The problem lies with my mum. She has always been resentful towards my bro for dropping out of Cambridge ("he's scared of a bit of hard work, can't be bothered, he's taking the easy way out") etc. and now it seems it's my turn. When I told her I might not apply for Cambs she started shouting at me, saying again that I was scared of a bit of hard work, wanting to take the easy way out etc. I've gone to a private school for quite a large part of my education and she told me that she might as well have "sent me to the local comprehensive down the road if I was going to have this attitude".

Now she's saying she really doesn't care what I do anymore, and that if I want to be happy, she does too and so she'll pack up and leave to go back to her original birthplace (she came here from overseas for her education several years ago) where "the weather isn't s*****" etc.

I feel pretty horrible, firstly because I'm pretty much convinced that if I don't apply to Cambs she won't ever care about me again, and secondly because I don't really need this stress at this moment in time when I've got uni applications, possible interviews, driving test et al coming up.

Wow that was huuuuuge. Sorry about the big rant, any advice would be very much appreciated, whether it's to tell me to get a grip or to offer some kind words. Thanks so much you guys!!!!! :tsr2:

Reply 1

AverageGuyOnTheStreet

9

You should do what it is that makes you happiest. It is, after all, your life. But nobody needs that much stress. And I understand that parents are one of the greatest causes of stress. Your mum shouldn't be comparing you to your brother, and I don't like the way it appears she is treating him anyway.

I hope things look up for you soon, and that you do get the offers you want to study medicine. Good luck.

Reply 2

qubog

12

It sounds like your mum is just frustrated because she wants whats best for you. She has made sacrifices for you (not living in her birth country, the expense of private education) and she expects you to make them for her by putting in the work and going to Cambridge as it may benefit you in the long run. But Cambridge isn't for everyone. This is an attitude that she has to change and not you. It's your life and you must live it the way you want to, or you will be unhappy forever too.

Also, I wouldn't worry too much about AS grades, if you put in the work next year you will still do well. There are so many people with high A-level grades that Cambridge look at much, much more than your grades so you will have plenty of opportunities to impress them.

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

OP

Thanks so much for both of your replies.

AGOTS - thanks, yeah, at the end of the day I guess it is my life but I would also like to make her happy so I'll have to somehow reach a compromise.

qubog - what sound advice. I agree 100% with what you're saying - she has made sacrifices for me and I understand and respect that and love her for it - but I'm really not sure what to do re: applying. My teacher said that it's not unusual for med applicants at Cambridge to have very high UMS marks so I should definitely consider going elsewhere. I guess it's something that only I can decide about and try not to let others influence it.

Thanks again.

Reply 4

Sycren

11

Im just wondering but you have 6 choices, I know that you have 4 choices for medicine, could 1 of your choices be camebridge to satisfy your mum?

Reply 5

spartakist

14

^Yeah, just apply to keep her happy. Who knows, you might get in!

Reply 6

prettygreeneyes99

9

As others have said, its only 1 choice out of 6, and you could suprise yourself and get in! ... others might have higher unit grades but be really poor when it comes to the interview :smile:

Reply 7

FCabinet34x72

1

spartakist

^Yeah, just apply to keep her happy. Who knows, you might get in!

OP - I agree if dont try you'll never get in!

Reply 8

Jelkin

17

Cambridge interview 90% of applicants, apparently. Worth a try? Having said that, if you don't want to go there, don't apply. Your mum needs to understand that there are plenty of other good unis in the country.

Reply 9

Sycren

11

for medicine you can only apply four times to uni's, the other 2 can be different subjects. An idea would be to try for biomedical degree at camebridge/oxford and if say you got in either try to transfer or transfer on 2nd year. That way you still get 4 choices for a medcine degree somewhere else.

Reply 10

spartakist

14

Also, does your mum realise that Cambridge medical school doesn't stand out from other medical schools in the way the general university does?

Reply 11

prettygreeneyes99

9

Yea, would be an idea to go on the guardian website, they have a pretty useful application where you can see where universities are ranked for different courses... assuming cambridge isnt at the top for medicine (I dont know, Ive never checked) then maybe you could show this to your mum so she knows cambridge isnt be all end all of doing a degree in medicine?

Bit of a rant really

Related discussions

Articles for you