My sister has been giving me the silent treatment for a year - now it's Xmas. Help!

tl:dr My sister tried to kick me out of my bed so she could sleep in it with her boyfriend, then she has been giving me the silent treatment for nearly a year because I stood up to her. Now it's Xmas and I have to spend time with her - how do I deal?

Hi guys. Long story short, I've never really gotten on with my sister. I think she's spoiled, selfish and rude but I tolerate her for the sake of our family. Anyway, she's recently had some mental health problems and took some time off work to do a masters degree. During this time she's been more and more bossy and expects us all to run around after her and do whatever she tells us to do.

In February, I had just come back from holiday in Malaga. I was exhausted. My sister then asked me if she and her boyfriend could sleep in my bed and could I sleep somewhere else for the night. Bear in mind, our house has several bedrooms with spare beds. They wanted me to move out of my room so that they could sleep together in it (it's the only other double).

I said no. My sister completely lost her temper because of this, called me a slut in front of others and brought up some stuff from way back when I slept in her bed with my ex-boyfriend (bear in mind my sister wasn't even living in the property at the time I did this, let alone trying to get a good night's sleep in that bed). I was absolutely furious that she was trying to slut shame me because I didn't do what she said and I responded angrily.

Since February, my sister has given me the silent treatment. We don't live in our parents house anymore but at family gatherings, she refuses to say hello or even acknowledge me. She will respond to everyone else except me and if I say anything to her, she just ignores it. I am so exasperated now as it's been almost a year. As far as I'm concerned, I have done nothing wrong - she is the one who was being unreasonable as usual. It's now coming up to Christmas and I'm going to have to spend the whole day with her at my parents house which I am dreading because it's going to be awkward and it upsets me to be around someone who ignores me like that.

I've tried to speak to my parents about it but they seem to take her side and say 'you know what she's like, you hurt her feelings, she'll get over it'. To me, this isn't good enough - no one has acknowledged that I didn't do anything wrong in the first place. I'm seriously considering skipping family Christmas altogether as I just don't want the drama. Any advice would be great.

So you want to be on better terms with your sister. The longer this sort of stand off goes on the worse it is.

In the big scheme of things it is ridiculous to let an argument like this ruin a family relationship. It really does not matter who was right or wrong. You need to disarm her so it is impossible for this to be carried on.

Next time you see her - go right upto her and kiss her. Say 'I should never have upset you like that - I want to be friends again'. You are saying you don't want her to be upset. That's right isn't it? And you don't want to be upset ( like you are now) either.

Be as charming as you can - no reacting to anything she says. Just repeat that you love her.

I've known people who haven't spoken to their sister for decades because of some sort of similar quarrel. It doesn't make either party happy at all. My own aunts used to tell each other off, tell each other what to do etc etc. but you know it never affected their real affection for each other. In the end in a crisis they all stood together and looked after each other. This is what you should be aiming for.