Vagina Talk: I hate my vagina but he wants to go down on me.

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 4 years ago
#1
Okay so actually a serious issue.

I've known someone for quite a while and there's always been a chemistry but only recently have we started seeing each other.

I've never been in a relationship before so never had sex or anything like that whereas he is quite experienced (and he's very considerate / understanding about the fact that I'm not).

Obviously, we've talked about sex and he said he loves going down on women. The problem is that I have a real issue with my vagina. Idc right now cos I'm anon so I'm just gonna say it. It's not normal. The inner labia is wayy longer than it needs to be. I even want him to go down on me but I feel too embarrassed that he'll be put off by the state of my vagina. I can't even let him touch me atm. What if he just thinks it's disgusting?

I know he's a lovely person but, at the end of the day, there are certain things that will turn a man off. So idk. I'm just paranoid that this issue is stopping me from going any further with him. If he loves going down on women, do you think this will bother him?

Also, I don't even know what other girls do with their hair down there? I trim it but I can't picture shaving it all off. I don't know what the norm is? I'm clueless when it comes to all this, basically.

Advice would be appreciated. Oh and I genuinely do like this guy, it's not like a sex thing (just throwing that in there)
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Anonymous #2
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If you repay the favour i'm sure he won't give af about the state of your vagina
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UWS
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#3
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Love your vagina, then he'll love your vagina too.
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math42
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#4
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I really cannot envision a guy caring all that much about such a thing. If you're that worried then talk to him about it and see how he reacts.

As for the hair, if he's experienced he's probably seen a few different things..so long as it's fairly neat there should be no issue (I mean plenty of guys won't care if it isn't).
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Anonymous #3
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I'm a guy, I like something to play and chew with. Your labia is fine, it's perfect.
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Eunomia
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#6
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#6
You worry too much. Most guys do not care and have probably seen vaginas that are similar to yours; it's hardly unusual . Unless he is one of those immature guys who has only ever seen a vagina in porn before and expects them to look those of porn stars (many of whom have had surgery) then you're good. Having a guy who enjoys giving oral makes you lucky, trust me on that.
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username2053059
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Okay so actually a serious issue.

I've known someone for quite a while and there's always been a chemistry but only recently have we started seeing each other.

I've never been in a relationship before so never had sex or anything like that whereas he is quite experienced (and he's very considerate / understanding about the fact that I'm not).

Obviously, we've talked about sex and he said he loves going down on women. The problem is that I have a real issue with my vagina. Idc right now cos I'm anon so I'm just gonna say it. It's not normal. The inner labia is wayy longer than it needs to be. I even want him to go down on me but I feel too embarrassed that he'll be put off by the state of my vagina. I can't even let him touch me atm. What if he just thinks it's disgusting?

I know he's a lovely person but, at the end of the day, there are certain things that will turn a man off. So idk. I'm just paranoid that this issue is stopping me from going any further with him. If he loves going down on women, do you think this will bother him?

Also, I don't even know what other girls do with their hair down there? I trim it but I can't picture shaving it all off. I don't know what the norm is? I'm clueless when it comes to all this, basically.

Advice would be appreciated. Oh and I genuinely do like this guy, it's not like a sex thing (just throwing that in there)
I don't know what that is...
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by M14B)
This doesn't help me. What does that even mean?

(Original post by Will_Brooks16)
He seems like an understanding guy, you don't need to rush into anything quickly. Take some time to get to know each other, it may take months before you are comfortable. Since this is your first relationship you need to make sure you are comfortable with yourself before letting somebody else become comfortable with that, maybe it might be best, after you establish that you love each other for who you are, that you talk to him about the fact that you are self-conscious. If he is accepting of that then great ! But if he can't accept you for you then maybe it's not meant to work. Good luck, communication is key in all relationships !
I feel like I do know him. I knew him for over a year before we even kissed. It's just this one thing that is really bothering me. It's driving me mad.
Thanks for the advice though.
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veganavb
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#9
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We all come in different shapes and sizes: including male and female genetalia he most likely has been with someone whos inner labia is longer than the outer, and either way why would he be grossed out by that? Or hair really.. Oh yeah about hair you should ask him before if you are unsure because (if you want him to of course) if he is going to go down on you, maybe he has a preference? Anyway dont do anything you dont want to but be proud of your body its a great system really and a vagina isnt there for aesthetic reasons its to gige you pleasure and welcome a child into the world.
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Will_Brooks16
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I feel like I do know him. I knew him for over a year before we even kissed. It's just this one thing that is really bothering me. It's driving me mad.
Thanks for the advice though.
If you feel like you know him and you feel like you have the confidence to speak to him about anything then just tell him you feel nervous, he should understand since he knows you have never done anything. Honestly, talking about it will make it 100x better in my opinion.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Will_Brooks16)
If you feel like you know him and you feel like you have the confidence to speak to him about anything then just tell him you feel nervous, he should understand since he knows you have never done anything. Honestly, talking about it will make it 100x better in my opinion.
Thanks, I'll bear this in mind.
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math42
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Really?
I thought men hated that sort of thing or were really put off by it.
I mean, let's be honest...guys aren't interested in vaginas for their aesthetic qualities. From the sounds of it your issue is not particularly bad or uncommon.
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username2053059
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Erm... ok? :rofl: Which one are you most similar to?
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Nirvana1989-1994
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Wow, you've been watching way too much porn.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Nirvana1989-1994)
Wow, you've been watching way too much porn.
Yep, just can't seem to find any other way to spend my time.
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Tootles
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Okay so actually a serious issue.

I've known someone for quite a while and there's always been a chemistry but only recently have we started seeing each other.

I've never been in a relationship before so never had sex or anything like that whereas he is quite experienced (and he's very considerate / understanding about the fact that I'm not).

Obviously, we've talked about sex and he said he loves going down on women. The problem is that I have a real issue with my vagina. Idc right now cos I'm anon so I'm just gonna say it. It's not normal. The inner labia is wayy longer than it needs to be. I even want him to go down on me but I feel too embarrassed that he'll be put off by the state of my vagina. I can't even let him touch me atm. What if he just thinks it's disgusting?

I know he's a lovely person but, at the end of the day, there are certain things that will turn a man off. So idk. I'm just paranoid that this issue is stopping me from going any further with him. If he loves going down on women, do you think this will bother him?

Also, I don't even know what other girls do with their hair down there? I trim it but I can't picture shaving it all off. I don't know what the norm is? I'm clueless when it comes to all this, basically.

Advice would be appreciated. Oh and I genuinely do like this guy, it's not like a sex thing (just throwing that in there)
As a guy who loves going down on the girl, I can definitely say that the shape/size of your labia won't bother him.
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phunky_fresh
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#17
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I dont think guys care as much as you think. There have been times I didn't expect to see my boyfriend and he was more than happy to go there. I think that keeping it real short and trimmed would be best. Don't shave it all off if you don't want to. My boyfriend told me his preference however he didn't really mind mine as long as its kept short. Just relax and enjoy within a couple seconds you forget about your insecurities - trust me.
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Nirvana1989-1994
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Yep, just can't seem to find any other way to spend my time.
#sarcasmdetected
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Tootles
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You should remove this - while it doesn't bother me it might bother some people and possibly could be against the rules here.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Tootles)
As a guy who loves going down on the girl, I can definitely say that the shape/size of your labia won't bother him.
Okay thanks, that kinda makes me feel a little better about the whole situation.
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