Is arranged marriage so bad if both parties genuinely like each other?

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realassassin
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Some men have busy lives, they have better things to do then chase after a girl for three years. Arranged marriage offers a fast solution to this, so long as both parties like each other. I honestly don't see why so many are against it?
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Mistletoe
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Here in the West we don't like to impose ourselves upon others.
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Lavaridge
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If both parties are okay with it then no, there's nothing wrong with some particular instances of arranged marriage.

The problem is that whenever you have a culture of arranged marriage, you inevitably get pressure for some people to marry somebody they don't want to (or to marry at a time they don't want to). This pressure can be emotionally abusive or even violent, as we see a lot of in certain Middle Eastern cultures, but can also be simply a feeling of obligation. The latter is not much better if you find yourself spending your life with somebody who makes you unhappy.
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SoulfulTwist
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I don't see why there are so many against it either :dontknow:
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Retired_Messiah
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Why do arranged marriage when you can just set people up on dates? Avoids all the issues but still has your pro of not having to chase so much.

I'd be pretty pissed if I lived in a culture that did arranged marriages 'cause I know for fact my parents know absolutely nothing about my tastes.
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Nirvana1989-1994
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Because, my parents know f*** all about my tastes.
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Reality Check
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(Original post by realassassin)
Some men have busy lives, they have better things to do then chase after a girl for three years. Arranged marriage offers a fast solution to this, so long as both parties like each other. I honestly don't see why so many are against it?
It's not like a takeaway - 'I don't have time to cook so I get food ready prepared'. Jeez...
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MissChameleon
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It depends on the situation and the people involved.. Currently, I'd have to be unconscious to agree to being married let alone an arranged one.

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This is prob bc of that nightmare with my mum leaving me down the aisle with some stranger.

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Sammy9898
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If both parties agree then it's fine. Otherwise no.


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Asolare
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If it's not a forced arranged marriage then there's nothing wrong with it, but most people against arranged marriages are against ones that are forced upon young girl to enter a relationship with a guy who'll only abuse them.
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J Papi
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OP's proposition makes arranged marriage redundant. It's one thing to merely have your parents introduce you to a girl, and another for them to arrange a marriage with her. If you like the girl so much, then you should be able to autonomously propose to her without external coercion.

Indeed, if you like the girl and yet don't feel ready for marriage, then you can delay marriage by cohabiting or whatever. Arranged marriage doesn't recognise the distinction between liking someone and wanting to commit the rest of your life to them.
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MooCowMilkshake
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There is a difference between arranged marriages and forced marriages
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J Papi
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(Original post by MooCowMilkshake)
There is a difference between arranged marriages and forced marriages
The question is only one of degree. The pressure in arranged marriages is usually implicit, whereas the pressure in forced marriages tends to be more overt, with the parties possibly exploiting their age to force someone into the marriage (E.g. a 50 year old father pushing his 15 year old daughter into the marriage).

In an ideal world, I'd much rather prefer to have no pressure to marry at all, thank you very much.
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MooCowMilkshake
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(Original post by JohnGreek)
In an ideal world, I'd much rather prefer to have no pressure to marry at all, thank you very much.
Didn't know I could offend someone by stating a fact.

An arranged marriage is kinda like a dating website; you want to find someone to marry and your parents try to find someone 'suitable' e.g based off social class, age, likes, dislikes (I know your parents aren't the best people to do this but this is beside the point). However if you don't like the person or don't get along, much like a dating website, you can swipe left and decline, and your parents won't be angry.

Just saying the facts dear sir, there is no need to get so uptight about my comment. ^-^
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HeroineMalfoy
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It still matters even if both parties like each other- you're being forced to marry her/him even though you only want to date her/him. It's the loss of control in your own personal matters. For me, no matter how much I like the partner, if I was being forced into marriage with this person I would hate it.
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Abstract_Prism
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I would argue that it is impossible for anyone to 'want' an arranged marriage. These people are merely conditioned into thinking that they want an arranged marriage, when really they have no semblance of the liberty they have. These people need to be freed from the pressures of arranged marriages, and they can't do that themselves because arranged marriages are ingrained in them from an early age: they don't know any better.
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J Papi
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(Original post by MooCowMilkshake)
Didn't know I could offend someone by stating a fact.

An arranged marriage is kinda like a dating website; you want to find someone to marry and your parents try to find someone 'suitable' e.g based off social class, age, likes, dislikes (I know your parents aren't the best people to do this but this is beside the point). However if you don't like the person or don't get along, much like a dating website, you can swipe left and decline, and your parents won't be angry.

Just saying the facts dear sir, there is no need to get so uptight about my comment. ^-^
I wasn't offended, don't worry. I don't come from a region that practises this sort of backwardness. More like irritated.

Your analysis about your parents "not being angry" if you don't like the person they arranged for you to marry is a bit of a simplification. If they have gone to the trouble of finding someone who is suitable, and who possesses certain preferable characteristics (e.g. being of the same caste/religion/ethnicity), then it is likely that they will angered if you flaunt their choices and go off and pick someone who's different to that.

This is particularly true considering a) how arranged marriages occur in generally conservative environments where there's a distrust of anything too foreign to your own culture, and b) how marriages are often arranged through the payment of a dowry or equivalent. In the second case, refusing to go along with your parents' will, even if they ultimately don't force you into the relationship, is akin to breaking a contract that your parents formed with the family of the prospective husband/bride. Hence, to suggest that there's no pressure in arranged marriages, particularly those where something of value is exchanged along with the bride and groom, is a bit too optimistic.

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There's also the consideration that arranged marriages often tend to have profound political/economic considerations behind them (e.g. marrying your son into a rich or powerful family). I wouldn't like to be objectified like that for the sole benefit of my parents.
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fatiana
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if it's not force marriage (for the women or man) then no problem
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mehokay
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I think people often confuse the terms 'arranged' marriage and 'forced' marriage.

Forced marriages are marriages that involve one or both parties being married without their consent. An arranged marriage, however, is when families select a suitable partner for their relative. Usually the parties will judge each other before giving consent to the marriage - so it's arguably the more compassionate option out of the two.

With that being said, arranged marriages are fine in that context. Sometimes the motivations can be questionable (e.g. arranging marriages to people of the same class to maintain/increase wealth) but there is some scope of choice for the parties involved and they do have the right to say no. It could also be seen as convenient, some people would rather be paired to another person rather than 'chase' them.

Preferably I would prefer it if people got marriage out of love, but I don't see a problem with arranged marriages. Forced marriages are a definite no though.
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Gwilym101
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(Original post by realassassin)
Some men have busy lives, they have better things to do then chase after a girl for three years. Arranged marriage offers a fast solution to this, so long as both parties like each other. I honestly don't see why so many are against it?
What's the point of marrying someone if you're not prepared to spend 3 years chasing them?
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