Letting my defences down and seeming needy in social intercations

Does anyone know what I mean when I say my confidence is erratic, sometimes I feel so assured and comfortable, then other times I feel like the other person is really taking the lead socially when I chat to them, like there's a projected weak neediness about me somehow. Most unusual.

Reply 1

Anonymous #1

Anyone?

Reply 2

emzay

Does it depend on the type of person you're talking to?

Reply 3

Thoughtcriminal31

No I really understand where you're coming from.

Sometimes I'm 'fine' and other times I'm really not.

Oddly, it's stuff like at a job interview I'm really chirpy and confident, maybe because I know what's expected of me and what to say, but once I work there I assume I have nothing interesting to say [because at this point 'talking' oughtn't to be just about work] so I don't say anything much.

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

emzay

Does it depend on the type of person you're talking to?

seems to depend more on mood

Reply 5

Anonymous #2

I'm EXACTLY the same :frown:

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

Anonymous

I'm EXACTLY the same :frown:

Elaborate?

Reply 7

Anonymous #2

Anonymous

Elaborate?

well it's exactly how you describe. Sometimes I feel relatively confident and I'm cheerful and then I talk to someone and it all comes crashing down and makes me feel crap :frown:

I hate it when it happens at work :mad:

and I have to serve customers etc. while feeling so low and unconfident

It doen't help that I'm quite quiet and go through moods where I don't want to talk at all or moods when I chat away like no one's business :redface:

lol, I'm not making any sense at all..sorry! :redface:

..anyway just wanted to let you know, you're not alone :smile:

Reply 8

Anonymous #1

Anonymous

well it's exactly how you describe. Sometimes I feel relatively confident and I'm cheerful and then I talk to someone and it all comes crashing down and makes me feel crap :frown:

I hate it when it happens at work :mad:

lol, I'm not making any sense at all..sorry! :redface:

..anyway just wanted to let you know, you're not alone :smile:

Oh with me It's not a big thing, but it's weird -- kind of a subtle thing wherby sometimes I feel I'm leading and assured and other times I feel the other person kind of owns the interaction. And it doesn't really relate to the force of personality of the other perosn entirely, seems to vary with my moods