This discussion is now closed.

Check out other Related discussions

Class/Identity confusion

This is an unusual and complex one. Ok for many years I have been indecisve about how to project myself and had something of an identity crisis. I feel this might be something some people can relate to.

On the one hand I did go to state school, but come from what can only be described as a solidly middle class background(Father a prominent Cambridge academic, pretty big house etc) So I feel like to adopt a more 'estuary' casual type accent would possibly be pretentious, like the middle class boy trying to act working class. However on the other hand I feel very much a fish out of water in my background, and have never really felt as refined as I'm supposed to be for my class so in a sense I'm torn because I feel to try and speak in a refined way takes a hell of a lot more oral effort and is unnatural and seems pretentiously proper and more refined than I really am, yet on the other hand it's how people who appear to be from my social level tend to talk and to talk with an estuary accent when I've had the education and upbringing I've had could also be seen as pretentious. This has led me at times into an almost scizophrenic identity crisis about how to project myself.

Weird. Anyone relate?

Scroll to see replies

Reply 1

randomgirl

Not really.

Just speak in a way that feels natural and most comfortable, stuff what everyone else thinks. Aslong as you are happy.

Reply 2

white_haired_wizard

maybe we're all an identity of identities....

We behave and act differently with/to different personalities?

Sure, alot of these different identities are conducted on a superficial basis but you'd hope ones core identity can be triggered, flourish/realized...the most. Otherwise maybe there could be identity confusion....

sometimes, in certain situations, you make life so much easier for yourself when you aren't being yourself - otherwise, with dissimilar others you just get looks of bemusement or the conversation stops dead completely, which could lead to an uneasy silence...meh. You project a different identity with different personalities (i would have thought).

Reply 3

puppy

Dude, no one cares. Do whatever you do when no one's watching you. No one's going to care as much about you as you do.

Reply 4

samba

puppy

Dude, no one cares. Do whatever you do when no one's watching you. No one's going to care as much about you as you do.

I wouldn't really suggest whipping out your dildo in public my dear.

Reply 5

bone-machine

its because you went to a state school.i dont think im as solidly middle class as you but as definitions go id say i am middle class ( im using listening to radio four as a guide here... ) point is when you go to a state school you mix with all sorts of interesting people who talk in all sorts of ways, you have spent most of your time at school its only natural youd feel more comfortable talking like everyone else

anyway, my point is im 'middle class' and i talk like a bit of rude girl sometimes. I like listening to grime among other things, some people tease me lightly and tell me im 'ghetto' but you just laugh it off together, no one looks down on you when your being yourself and any of my friends from estates and things find it normal as well.

just talk how you feel comfortable. i speak well but throw colloquial terms and slang in there when it feels right..basically I talk how i want and it sounds comfortable coming out of my mouth so it sounds ok in peoples ears.

What you DON’T want is to be like lilly allen. She sings like shes out of bloody eastenders and yet did you HEAR her talk on never mind the buzzcocks..sounded like a toff…now THAT’S an act..what you want is to mix it up, best of both worlds

chillax and talk how you like. you have nothing to prove

Reply 6

brokenangel

just relax and be yourself you dont need to fit into one class im more middle class than working class yet i can defiantly relate to them the same as my friends from private schools who are definatly middle class.

you shouldnt care what people think no matter what class you belong to someone is always going to hate you for it so why change yourself.

Reply 7

puppy

samba

I wouldn't really suggest whipping out your dildo in public my dear.

I'm not your dear. And what you do in your spare time is your own business.

Reply 8

Chumbaniya

Just forget about trying to fit in with your class, it's not worth it. If I tried to do that, I'd end up totally confused - my dad's got working class parents and my mum's family have hereditary titles, and furthermore I've always been state-school educated and am about to go to Cambridge, whilst my dad dropped out of a degree but is still the greatest supporter I know of continuing education. What class am I, eh? Who cares?

Reply 9

samba

puppy

I'm not your dear. And what you do in your spare time is your own business.

I was just joking love....

Reply 10

DodgyTrousers

I reckon you've massively overthought this honestly. The sort of people who want you to speak a certain way , or drive a certain car, or whatever to "fit in" with your "class" are idiots. The only thing that really matters is who you are. If people of your "class" don't like that, then more fool them.

Seriously, worry less about what others think of you. Your monetary status does not define you.

Reply 11

sarCAZm

I sort of know what you mean. I go to a private school, middle class tory tosser sort of deal. But when im with my mates out of school (people who go to the local state school) i tend to play down my accent a bit, and talk in a different manner than usual, specially if i'm meeting someone for the first time.
I'd say that I doubt other people care, but i've been verbally attacked before for being posh or whatever >.>
just do what makes you feel comfortable i guess

Reply 12

Rutter knows best!

its quite an interesting one this i must admit.

i find being personable is all you need to do, you just talk on a level with whoever yu are speaking to at the time.

self identity is something you find on while on your own i think.

Reply 13

naivesincerity

I think I'd maybe end up with a not estuary, but not too well spoken accent if I spoke truly naturally. Think Piers Morgan.

Reply 14

sarCAZm

naivesincerity

Think Piers Morgan.

Oh god I try not to. for fear of vomitting.

Reply 15

Cromulent

The only advice worth giving is be natural. As soon as you try and be something your not people will notice. If you act natural then no one will mind whatever it is that you do.

Reply 16

D-503

Listen to Jenny From The Block on repeat, maybe she can relate.

Reply 17

khil

Erm, in the end, who cares...? Just be yourself. Who cares if you're apparently not speaking with the "proper middle class" accent, or if you are speaking with such an accent? Speak however you like, act yourself.

If you wanna go on about identity crisis, I have one too - if someone can tell me whether I'm Chinese or English, that would be great lol. But as it is, why should I necessarily fit in to categories drawn up by society. I'm just me and there's no category for that, and it's ok. Coming to terms with it still, but in the end if I'm not one or the other, there's no point in forcing myself to be something that I'm not. I might as well just enjoy being the quirky little thing that I am :smile:

Reply 18

Zoecb

I had a similar crisis in Year 7 when I went from a state school to a private school and my accent completely changed!

Choose what you want to be, who who want to be with and fit in accordingly?

Reply 19

ßlαcksωαn

I don't see why you're so worried about fitting into a "class" that's the last thing on my mind. And the way you talk? who cares, you cant change your accent just because of your environment. You need to be realistic and accept yourself for who you are!

Related discussions

Latest

Trending

Articles for you

Seven apprenticeship myths busted

How to find private off-campus student housing

Finding a university place in Ucas Clearing: 10 top tips to help you get ready

Try out the app

Continue on web