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Why do I do this/what is wrong with me?

-I constantly change my username on websites and forums/email addres because I always like to start 'afresh' or there are people on my msn list I don't like speaking to (yes I know I can block them but I like to change my address too)
-Sometimes I just want to break off contact with about 90% of my 'friends'. I use that term loosely. We just meet and talk about crap. We don't really share. In fact my friends are in a secret feud and lots of other crap that I always find out last. They are mainly friends from my old school. But at the same time I'm not bothering to make new friends, so I'll just end up having less and less friends.
-I speak to strangers on the internet and wish they were my real friends. Is that weird? I met one of these 'strangers' from the net, now she's one of my closest friends.
-My imagination runs wild. Often I wish I lived in another place, that I was somebody different, that I live in some different circumstance so that at least my life would be interesting. I look at strangers profiles on myspace and wish I was like that person.
-Sometimes I just want to go out wearing all black.
-During these summer holidays I've sometimes spent up to a week in the house doing nothing.
-I keep changing my mind about what I want to do in the future. I signed up for college, then changed courses. Now I'm thinking of changing again. I've looked at the websites of about half of the universities in england, scotland and wales ranging between 10 subjects. I've looked at universities in europe, america, asia, SA, NW and australia aswell. I've thought about joining the army. Being a stewardess. Training to be a cook. Modelling. Everyone else is off to uni vaguely knowing what to do with their future while I'm so confused.

Sorry I know it's alot but got to get it off my chest now. Better sooner than later.

Reply 1

sopheeb

I get where you're coming from. I'm addicted to fresh starts a bit. Is it because you're scared of people judging you and you think if you're "new" there's nothing to go by? Just remember that if you keep changing like that then nobody will see the good bits! And also *hug*.