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No luck on dating/social media sites for the past 6 years

I've had no luck finding a girl on dating sites ever since I started doing when I was 16 and now I'll be 22 less than 2 weeks, never had a girlfriend, still virgin and never did anything with a girl. I feel embarrassed and abnormal being a late bloomer.

I pretty much used every dating site like Tagged, Meet Me, Lovoo, POF, Tinder, Zoosk, Badoo but I fail every time. Pretty much every girl on there are so stuck up and shallow like I usually get my friend requests and messages ignored. Even when I do end up talking to a girl she'd usually give me short blunt replies then after a few exchange messages she'd just randomly drop me. I don't get it my profile is nicely diseigned and laid out but most girls can't just me based on my photos but not for who I am.

The reason why I use those sites to talk to girls because I'm not very good at commutatiimg with people especially girls. I'm not good at understanding body language or giving eye contact which is massive hold back for me. I've tried talking to girls or getting them to dance with me at a nightclub a few times but all they did is just glance at me like I'm some disgusting creature and walked away. I even wore freshly washed and ironed clothes, got a haircut, grew a beard and wore Hugo Boss aftershave it's like I got AIDS tattooed on my forehead.

Will I honestly find someone or I'm just going to remain alone for the rest of my life? I keep getting told "don't worry you'll find someone soon" or "your time will come" but I just see that to a load of patronising rubbish.

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You are only 22
Original post by Anonymous
I even wore freshly washed and ironed clothes, got a haircut, grew a beard and wore Hugo Boss aftershave it's like I got AIDS tattooed on my forehead.


OP I totally get where you are coming from and can relate so much. I've often thought I have a huge, invisible to me banner over my head saying "Avoid this guy".

Trust me though, dating sites are just utter diabolical and not worth your time in you twenties. 20% of men get 80% of the women on those sites, and people aren't generally looking for something serious until 30+. Honestly, ditch 'em; best thing I ever did when it comes to dating.

As for not getting anyone. Sometimes it takes time, sometimes it just happens, sometimes you need to put effort in and sometimes you don't. I know it must feel as though everyone around you is more experienced but, trust me, it's not the case. We have plenty of people on this forum your age with similar experiences.

Focus on what makes you happy and enjoy life. If it happens, it happens. You don't want to end up cynical like yours truly. :gah:
Reply 3
Original post by Anonymous
I've had no luck finding a girl on dating sites ever since I started doing when I was 16 and now I'll be 22 less than 2 weeks, never had a girlfriend, still virgin and never did anything with a girl. I feel embarrassed and abnormal being a late bloomer.

Best advice above^^ but all I would say is don't beat yourself up about it. Get off those dating sites and just live life.Love will come when you least expect it so enjoy yourself now rather than being concerned about relationships. You are young after all! :smile:
Reply 4
10 years later with the same situation continuing (like mine): You are only 32.
Reply 5
Original post by 571122
10 years later with the same situation continuing (like mine): You are only 32.


Just make sure you have a pact with someone that If you're single at 50 you'll get married :biggrin:. Then they won't be like "oh you're only fifty..."
Reply 6
Original post by Anonymous
I've had no luck finding a girl on dating sites ever since I started doing when I was 16 and now I'll be 22 less than 2 weeks, never had a girlfriend, still virgin and never did anything with a girl. I feel embarrassed and abnormal being a late bloomer.

I pretty much used every dating site like Tagged, Meet Me, Lovoo, POF, Tinder, Zoosk, Badoo but I fail every time. Pretty much every girl on there are so stuck up and shallow like I usually get my friend requests and messages ignored. Even when I do end up talking to a girl she'd usually give me short blunt replies then after a few exchange messages she'd just randomly drop me. I don't get it my profile is nicely diseigned and laid out but most girls can't just me based on my photos but not for who I am.

The reason why I use those sites to talk to girls because I'm not very good at commutatiimg with people especially girls. I'm not good at understanding body language or giving eye contact which is massive hold back for me. I've tried talking to girls or getting them to dance with me at a nightclub a few times but all they did is just glance at me like I'm some disgusting creature and walked away. I even wore freshly washed and ironed clothes, got a haircut, grew a beard and wore Hugo Boss aftershave it's like I got AIDS tattooed on my forehead.

Will I honestly find someone or I'm just going to remain alone for the rest of my life? I keep getting told "don't worry you'll find someone soon" or "your time will come" but I just see that to a load of patronising rubbish.

Dear Anonymous,

I understand that you want a girl but there is no need to conform to society's 'rules'. This whole 'virgin' story is just social dogma and therefore you shouldn't feel embarrassed.

As for the dating sites, they are a scam and they are full of shallow people. Just take a look at this experiment and you'll understand.

Like the books 'How to win friends and influence people in the digital age' and 'The Venusian arts' illustrate, you have to add value if you want people to stay hooked to you. Don't just chit chat about little or nothing - be interesting, be intelligent, witty. You need to have game, a plan. You need to know how to start a conversation and how to end it.

As for looks.. looks are not enough. You need confidence, you need to know what you say, when you say it, how you reply.. basically you need to be pretty good in communication. Either that or you should be lucky enough to find a matching girl that matches your personality and traits (which does not happen very often).

Don't be mistaken by my overly confident reply because I have exactly the same problem as you do and it's been going on forever. I'm also more than 10 years older than you.

You need to seek a plan, a way of approaching these social situations. You need to know what you're doing and not just randomly hoping on something. Look at it like a school exam: you can't just randomly answer something or give a random opinion, no, you need to provide valid answers based on what has been established.

The truth should not be sugar coated. Don't be like me and wait around for life to give you a chance. No, you have to create your own chances. You have to survive in the wilderness of love and relationships. You are in the wild - and if you act like gazelle, you will be eaten like a gazelle. Or, if you act like a passive lion, the big, confident lion king will steal away the girls from your territory and you will either be left with the leftovers or all the women will be gone. It's pretty much the game of nature.

I hope I have taught you something with this.
Reply 7
Original post by TK_23
Just make sure you have a pact with someone that If you're single at 50 you'll get married :biggrin:. Then they won't be like "oh you're only fifty..."

Sounds like Phoebe from FRIENDS.
Reply 8
Original post by TK_23
Just make sure you have a pact with someone that If you're single at 50 you'll get married :biggrin:. Then they won't be like "oh you're only fifty..."



the pact age is usually 30 or 35

I vaguely remember a friends episode like that...
Reply 9
You keep trying to just search for a relationship when you should be focusing on yourself. You will meet your partner via shared interests most likely, so pursue your hobbies/interests/career and find the right person along the way.

Meeting on dating websites is still so shady.
[QUOTE="Senxpen;68842416"]
Original post by Anonymous
I've had no luck finding a girl on dating sites ever since I started doing when I was 16 and now I'll be 22 less than 2 weeks, never had a girlfriend, still virgin and never did anything with a girl. I feel embarrassed and abnormal being a late bloomer.

Best advice above^^ but all I would say is don't beat yourself up about it. Get off those dating sites and just live life.Love will come when you least expect it so enjoy yourself now rather than being concerned about relationships. You are young after all! :smile:


I'm almost 22 and been unemployed since I left college over 2 years ago. I don't feel young.
Reply 11
Original post by 571122
Sounds like Phoebe from FRIENDS.

Lool yesss. Love phoebe :biggrin:.
Original post by ANM775
the pact age is usually 30 or 35

I vaguely remember a friends episode like that...


He's already 32 so he can enjoy his freedom a little longer :biggrin:
I've been thinking for a few months of trying to quit using them because almost 6 years I was just wasting time. I've also pretended to be someone from my school for 3 years because he was popular with girls and when I used his pictures the girls were all over him but after the 3 years I put a stop to it because I knew what I was doing was absolutely wrong. When I was him he had messages, friend requests photo comments, etc spamming everyday but when I was suing my own photos everything was like a ghost town like no photo comments, girls declining my friend request, girls ignoring my messages etc
Reply 13
Original post by Anonymous
I've been thinking for a few months of trying to quit using them because almost 6 years I was just wasting time. I've also pretended to be someone from my school for 3 years because he was popular with girls and when I used his pictures the girls were all over him but after the 3 years I put a stop to it because I knew what I was doing was absolutely wrong. When I was him he had messages, friend requests photo comments, etc spamming everyday but when I was suing my own photos everything was like a ghost town like no photo comments, girls declining my friend request, girls ignoring my messages etc




I don't know how you did this for 3 years and remained sane.

I have known males to run similar experiments and slump into deep depressions as a result.

I tried a few similar experiments myself, but never could run them for more than 1 or 2 weeks as feelings of depression starting manifesting themselves....

tbh though, once you had seen the light you should have stopped online dating and put like 90% of your efforts into finding a girl in real life. Perhaps keeping a dating profile as a "just in case" but not spending hardly any time on it
Original post by ANM775
I don't know how you did this for 3 years and remained sane.

I have known males to run similar experiments and slump into deep depressions as a result.

I tried a few similar experiments myself, but never could run them for more than 1 or 2 weeks as feelings of depression starting manifesting themselves....

tbh though, once you had seen the light you should have stopped online dating and put like 90% of your efforts into finding a girl in real life. Perhaps keeping a dating profile as a "just in case" but not spending hardly any time on it


I actually did slummed into deep depression for years of doing and I'm still going through it now. It's not until a few months ago I wanted to put a quit it. I stopped catfishing for good but I'm still want to quit online dating.
Reply 15
I write an elaborate reply and this guy doesn't even respond.
Reply 16
[QUOTE="Anonymous;68842760"]
Original post by Senxpen


I'm almost 22 and been unemployed since I left college over 2 years ago. I don't feel young.


Right then, I don't mean to sound harsh but maybe that has something to do with it. Most women don't want to be with unemployed guys, perhaps getting a job will help.
[QUOTE="Senxpen;68848090"]
Original post by Anonymous


Right then, I don't mean to sound harsh but maybe that has something to do with it. Most women don't want to be with unemployed guys, perhaps getting a job will help.


I've struggled to get women even before I was unemployed. No girl back when I was at school or college paid attention to me. I'm currently living on ESA.
Original post by 571122
I write an elaborate reply and this guy doesn't even respond.

I'm sorry I thought I had
Original post by Anonymous
I've had no luck finding a girl on dating sites ever since I started doing when I was 16 and now I'll be 22 less than 2 weeks, never had a girlfriend, still virgin and never did anything with a girl. I feel embarrassed and abnormal being a late bloomer.

I pretty much used every dating site like Tagged, Meet Me, Lovoo, POF, Tinder, Zoosk, Badoo but I fail every time. Pretty much every girl on there are so stuck up and shallow like I usually get my friend requests and messages ignored. Even when I do end up talking to a girl she'd usually give me short blunt replies then after a few exchange messages she'd just randomly drop me. I don't get it my profile is nicely diseigned and laid out but most girls can't just me based on my photos but not for who I am.

The reason why I use those sites to talk to girls because I'm not very good at commutatiimg with people especially girls. I'm not good at understanding body language or giving eye contact which is massive hold back for me. I've tried talking to girls or getting them to dance with me at a nightclub a few times but all they did is just glance at me like I'm some disgusting creature and walked away. I even wore freshly washed and ironed clothes, got a haircut, grew a beard and wore Hugo Boss aftershave it's like I got AIDS tattooed on my forehead.

Will I honestly find someone or I'm just going to remain alone for the rest of my life? I keep getting told "don't worry you'll find someone soon" or "your time will come" but I just see that to a load of patronising rubbish.


I'm not sure if you have confidence issues? You state you don't understand eye contact which is a massive hold back for you.

Do you have female friends? Having female friends will increase your confidence and in general talking to women.

What else have you tried? Speed dating, meeting women through friends, joining clubs out of interest such as salsa dancing, working, through uni?

Approach women with no intentions of getting a number, just talk to them, just go up to them and say "I just saw you and just had to meet you" and then say "what are your plans today"/"what are you planning to do" and keep the conversation flowing.

The more you approach on a regular basis, the more opportunities you will get.

Going to the gym will help. Also be outgoing and have hobbies, focus on your life and what makes you happy.

BTW, what do you do now? Are you at uni or working?

Good luck
(edited 7 years ago)

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