Application Form

I am looking to apply to sixth form, you will love me there as I’m a very good person to talk to, I like to help those around me and I am keen to learn more. I also work well in a team, as I did at my work experience with DBS internet marketing where I had to participate and get involved by watching my colleagues at the time, which meant I could develop my own knowledge. I over achieved on most of the work I was set, I was in the end trusted and was doing things that actually affected the company in a big way if it wasn’t done properly. I was always looking for extra work to do and help, and strengthen my knowledge. DBS internet marketing is about building websites and helping people grow and show their business.
Although I enjoyed it and learned a lot it’s not what I want to do. I have always been torn between computing and science. However, one day looking at the news, I noticed there was a lot of issues, like Global warming, and illnesses that were killing people. So I thought to myself, that if I learn and concentrate hard, I could maybe fix a big issue like Global warming. That has been my life goal, which is to be remembered for doing/ creating something big, that helps the world grow. But before I do that I need to buckle up, and concentrate on getting my grades to expand my knowledge to complete my goal. sixth form will help me to get my grades to go to university and develop as an individual.
Outside of school, I enjoy spending my time gaming with friends, we play strategy games which require leadership skills and demand quick decision making. I also enjoy building technical based worlds which build on my Science knowledge for example the city building game evolves around global warming, which you have to fix and manage.
During my years of growing up, I have developed as a person to be kind, mature and independent. I am also developing a sense of my weakness and strengths are, but recognise they still need to be developed, and I’m hoping sixth form can offer me that.

Does this require any tweaking? thank you for any feedback given

Reply 1

Reality Check

It's 'buck up', not 'buckle up', but you'd only say 'buck up' if you were doing badly at something and needed to improve it. Is this what you're trying to say.

Apart from that it seems ok - maybe a bit intense, but if you've been asked to write a statement for your application then that's fine.

If I've helped you, please rate my post . Thanks!

Reply 2

Luca99

In the very first line I would definitely get rid of " you will love me there" as it sounds very self centred. I would change it to how you will fit into sixth form and be a good asset, rather than how it reads now which is .."you're lucky to have me" kind of thing.

Perhaps " I am looking to apply for sixth form as I believe I can offer the learning environment various skills, as I like to contribute as much as I can to discussions and debates...." and then go on from there.

It's all about what you can bring to the table.

Reply 3

Spursboyj01

Thanks you very much, will add that to my application.

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