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How often do you text in a relationship?

MardyBumm

hey guys,
so as the title of the question is, how often do you text your partner?

My boyfriend and I have been in a relationship for just over a month. We see each other like 3-4 times a week, usually just go for lunch together and spend Sunday evening/night together. I'm the type of a person who would prefer to text every day, just so I know he thinks of me or something. Would be great to get a goodnight or good morning text. I told him about that and he said he doesn't mind texting me more, but he just preferes to talk face to face. It was a bit of an issue last time when we were together as well (Yes, I'm back with my ex). We text mostly every day, but I feel like it's me who starts the conversations most of the time just because I've got something important to tell him or so.

What should I do? I feel like we have different needs when it comes to texting/seeing each other and I don't really know what to do. I wouldn't want him to feel as if it's his duty to text me more, but at the same time I get a bit anxious and I start to overthink when he doesn't text me

Reply 1

Tootles

Original post by MardyBumm

I can be a little clingy I guess, especially since my last couple of relationships have been long-distance. I'd fall into the trap of texting all the time, knowing it was irritating both of us, but not wanting to cut back lest she think I've fallen out with her.

At least good morning/good night though, if I'm not around them. Generally I prefer face-to-face or if that's not practical a video call.

Reply 2

phunky_fresh

I can see where he is coming from. You spend alot of time together. If he wasn't making an effort at all then I'd say its an issue however he seems to be making an effort in other ways. Who wants an empty forced text message when you can see your partner in the flesh regularly?

Reply 3

phunky_fresh

To answer your question I talk to my boyfriend everyday. For the last four months we've texted each other every day without fail to say Good morning (except this morning funnily enough) . I thought of him throughout the day but I didn't worry that he didn't think of me. Neither of us text each other good night, we just text sporadically through out the day. I see him everyday at work, we cross paths from time to time. Today we spent like two minutes alone and I'll probably see him properly 1 or 2 days a week on average. He works nights mostly and our schedules clash, I would love to be able to see him more for more than a couple of minutes at work.

(edited 7 years ago)

Reply 4

MardyBumm

Original post by phunky_fresh

Is it really a lot of time?

and yes, he is making the effort for sure. If I felt **** and down and told him about that, he'd be at mine within couple of minutes if I wanted to. But the thing is that I may be too clingy and needy. Whenever I don't know when we gonna see each other next, I get paranoid and uneasy. And I know that sometimes he has time to meet me, but still he won't suggest seeing each other. I know it's selfish to think that he should spend all of his free time with me, but it still makes me a bit upset.

Reply 5

phunky_fresh

Original post by MardyBumm

Do you have that issues? Why did you break up in the first place?

Reply 6

MardyBumm

Original post by phunky_fresh

Do you have that issues? Why did you break up in the first place?

Not sure I want to write here why we broke up, do you mind if I send you a private message?

Reply 7

phunky_fresh

Original post by MardyBumm

Not sure I want to write here why we broke up, do you mind if I send you a private message?

That's fine

Reply 8

phunky_fresh

You could have said good night..

Reply 9

Goaded

I've never felt the need to text my previous boyfriends every day, all except one would text me to double check I'm not dead or something daily lol. I like to talk face to face as well and am generally not a good texter, he's probably the same

Reply 10

username47781

No set rules when it comes to texting, but it varies sometimes it can be a few times a day, sometimes maybe very little. I think too much would give the impression you are a bit clingy.

Reply 11

I is you

Quite a lot, on average being about 250 messages a day. However, this includes messages at the start when we'd talk for hours into the evening. We always message goodnight and mostly good morning, and in the day we have lots of short conversations. Now we're settled it's more like 100 messages a day or so.

Reply 12

CON5P1RACY K1D

Original post by MardyBumm

When I was with my (now ex) gf she would text me so much to the point where I have to turn off my phone, some girls talk to much if i'm honest..

Reply 13

MardyBumm

is it worrying that sometimes there are days when he doesnt text me at all?

Reply 14

Conkerr

It depends on the person... Some people don't like texting at all

But yeah, usually I text everyday to my gf (when I have one)

Reply 15

username1726117

When I have a partner, fairly often. I live a busy life so it's one of the best ways for us to stay in contact.

Reply 16

Lucy ferriss

Me and my friends did an ‘experiment’ because I have the same problem as you, I stopped talking to my boyfriend first over text just to see if throughout the day he would talk to me at all. The point was to not talk to him until he started the conversation. It’s worked out pretty successful and shown me that just because we don’t talk all the time he still is there.