I don't think I like my girlfriend

Reply 20

13

Wait, so you're going to string her along all the way up until you leave for uni, and then dump her? So basically, you're just using her for the sex? Just dump her now and save her the heartbreak later on.

Reply 21

steelmole

OP

10

Ok, I feel that I've combated the problem in the topic title. I'm pretty sure that I like her. Let me share my thoughts.

I realise that I like her now, but in the future we'll probably end up breaking up. What's wrong with realising this and taking account for it instead of being 'blinded' by feelings?

In a way I am 'using' her. Using her for friendship, companionship and sex. Isn't that all that relationships are? Am I so bad for realising it won't last but enjoying it while it does?

Reply 22

Ang|ophi|e

12

I see your point. Sometimes you are in a relationship where you enjoy the person and everything but you know it won't last. When this happens you need to make a choice. Stay with her and enjoy the time you have or end things. Sounds to me that you want to stay in the relationship. But at the same time you are expressing doubts of your feelings. Perhaps you should spend more with her, to get to know her more as an individual not just the sex. :smile:

Reply 23

PaperMoon

You're so cynical OP, especially for a 17 year old. At that age surely the world should seem a much rosier place. :wink:

Also, I'm sure this girl would be delighted to know she's only being used so you could get this girlfriend thing "out of your system". Ahh, young love.

PS:you are right,it doesn't seem like you like her all that much.

Reply 24

username47781

20

Clearly you are with her just because you want a girlfriend and no other reason, do her a favour and don't string her along.

Reply 25

clyn

1

Two theories.

1. You're emotionally immature and she'll be better off without you. :getmecoat

or

2. You've been trying to 'get' a girlfriend for so long now that it's more a status thing than anything else. Probably TV, etc has fed you a notion that relationships=love=seriousness and ultimately pain. There may be truth in this as you've noted that this is the first time you've involved "someone else's emotions in any obvious way". You're 17, this isn't necessarily going to be your greatest love affair! :dancing:

you may be scared. So chill, stop over-analysing this and learn more about yourself, or you're going to harm your future relationships.

Reply 26

Do Chickens Fly

8

steelmole

Ok, I feel that I've combated the problem in the topic title. I'm pretty sure that I like her. Let me share my thoughts.

I realise that I like her now, but in the future we'll probably end up breaking up. What's wrong with realising this and taking account for it instead of being 'blinded' by feelings?

In a way I am 'using' her. Using her for friendship, companionship and sex. Isn't that all that relationships are? Am I so bad for realising it won't last but enjoying it while it does?

I think it paradoxical, but there is more truth in the poster's comments than those replying with implications of greater moral standing.

It is as if, in our desire to be more than our organic selves, we wish to circumvent our physiology and resultant psychology, the undeniable fact that all our actions serve ultimately to serve our benefit (however indirectly that end may be achieved). Now this person says he's aware he is in a good situation that will end badly for another. The fact he posts shows he has some guilt about it all (thus is not likely to be sociopathic or psychopathic). As desirable as it may be that noone is hurt, hurt is inevitable - indeed both options lead to loss in one form or another:

•

stay with the girl, make use of the positive experiences (companionship and sex), but terminate it when it's no longer beneficial, causing her harm

•

end it now, save the girl the potential pain of losing a partner she is attached to in the future, but miss out on a stable, near-guaranteed relationship of compassion and sex for a long period of time

There is no moral high-ground. In order for there to be a moral high-ground, one would have to presume the girl is naive to these complexities, and is not herself equally complex.

Carrying on, in net appears the preferrable solution, for it doesn't end a good thing on tenuous grounds (an assumption his 'feelings' are non-genuine). It permits the possibility that genuine, accepted feelings develop, or that the relationship breaks up at a future date. Final, irreversible solutions should be left till last!

I don't think I like my girlfriend

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