Why can't I be happy?

[WARNING: Long post, and anon cos I don't want people to know who I am, especially since my bf is on here]
Im going to my favourite university, to do my favourite subject and got way better results than I was expecting. My grandparents are going to give me quite a bit of financial help for Uni. I have a wonderful boyfriend, who I love, and who loves me. I should be happy right?

But Im not. I just can't seem to be happy. At all. Recently I've been treating my boyfirend very ****tily, and I cant seem to be able to stop. Im scared Im driving him away because of the way Im acting, and I just can't stop acting like it. Its like Im reacting very badly to the fact that we're going to be apart for 11 weeks, and its almost like Im trying to force him away, so I get used to not being near him all the time. But I want this last 4 weeks to be happy, and for us to have fun, and for me not to behave like a bitch, as I have been recently. I haven't been truely happy, and stayed that way for such a long time. In the past I have had things to be sad about, everyone turning against me because of some rumours about me and my bf, my nan dying, my grandad having a heart attack on he day of her funeral, and then having a quadruple bypass. But those things are over now, I should be able to be happy. My boyfirend asked me that if I had been going out with someone for 9 months and they hadn't been happy wouldnt you blame yourself, and the truth is that I would. He says that he doesnt blame himself at the moment, or blame anyone, but if how I am continues much longer then he might start to.

I feel that at the moment he is withing his right to break up with me because of the way Ive been acting, he says he wouldn't because it would devastate me and he isnt like that, and doesnt brek up with someone jsut because they aren't very happy, and aren't treating him brilliantly.

I want to be happy, and I want to stop getting angry so easily.I jsut snap at the smallest thing. The littlest thing goes wrong and Im just over-the-top angry.

Advise people? How can I calm down and be more myself, and less upset? Im so scared Im driving him away with the way Ive been acting, he says that he wont be driven away because of this, but I fear that Im driving our relationship into the ground with the way Ive been acting recently =(

I switched to Cilest 6 months ago to stop PMS - is it possible it could be causing me to be more depressed than normal?

xxx

Reply 1

BJ-Dubois

Do you exercise regularly?

PS: If you are depressed then it is a medical condition and shouldn't even be considered as treatable through an internet forum. Go to your GP or another suitably qualified figure who, if necessary, will be able to medicate.

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

OP

Not so much since school stopped. I walk ~12 miles a week, visiting my bf

Reply 3

prettygreeneyes99

9

Hmm the pill could be a cause of it, when I was on microgynon I got the worse mood swings ever. Go see your doctor, they might change your pill or suggest it could be depression?

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

OP

I was on microg, got hideous PMS, and slightly depressed on it, and the period pains came back [which was the original reason for going on it] so i changed to cilest and the PMS ahs disappeared, as has most of the pain, I just dont know if the sadness is caused by the pill, or if its just me...Im thinking of changing the pill just in case when i go back in a couple weeks.

Reply 5

prettygreeneyes99

9

hmm well I got put on mercilon which was just a lower dose of microgynon... I didnt realise how much it did actually effect my moods until I changed pill.. its always worth a try though. I know when I was on microgynon I did have the moodswings but I generally felt down when I was on it, thank god I have an understaning boyfriend :p:

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

OP

I hopw that my bf will continue to be understanding...Having just cleared it with my bf, Im going to have a break from the pill for a few weeks. then start a new pill, hopefully...

Reply 7

Aimai

7

Anonymous

[WARNING: Long post, and anon cos I don't want people to know who I am, especially since my bf is on here]
Im going to my favourite university, to do my favourite subject and got way better results than I was expecting. My grandparents are going to give me quite a bit of financial help for Uni. I have a wonderful boyfriend, who I love, and who loves me. I should be happy right?

But Im not. I just can't seem to be happy. At all. Recently I've been treating my boyfirend very ****tily, and I cant seem to be able to stop. Im scared Im driving him away because of the way Im acting, and I just can't stop acting like it. Its like Im reacting very badly to the fact that we're going to be apart for 11 weeks, and its almost like Im trying to force him away, so I get used to not being near him all the time. But I want this last 4 weeks to be happy, and for us to have fun, and for me not to behave like a bitch, as I have been recently. I haven't been truely happy, and stayed that way for such a long time. In the past I have had things to be sad about, everyone turning against me because of some rumours about me and my bf, my nan dying, my grandad having a heart attack on he day of her funeral, and then having a quadruple bypass. But those things are over now, I should be able to be happy. My boyfirend asked me that if I had been going out with someone for 9 months and they hadn't been happy wouldnt you blame yourself, and the truth is that I would. He says that he doesnt blame himself at the moment, or blame anyone, but if how I am continues much longer then he might start to.

I feel that at the moment he is withing his right to break up with me because of the way Ive been acting, he says he wouldn't because it would devastate me and he isnt like that, and doesnt brek up with someone jsut because they aren't very happy, and aren't treating him brilliantly.

I want to be happy, and I want to stop getting angry so easily.I jsut snap at the smallest thing. The littlest thing goes wrong and Im just over-the-top angry.

Advise people? How can I calm down and be more myself, and less upset? Im so scared Im driving him away with the way Ive been acting, he says that he wont be driven away because of this, but I fear that Im driving our relationship into the ground with the way Ive been acting recently =(

I switched to Cilest 6 months ago to stop PMS - is it possible it could be causing me to be more depressed than normal?

xxx

It may not be a bad idea to show him this or at least explain how you feel and how you don't mean to act like you are, but that you don't feel you can help it. This was enable him to support you and gives him an insight into how you are feeling.

I'd advise you to speak to your doctor. Tell them about cilest and see what they recomend. It never hurts to get a second opinion. You could ask him to refer you to therapy- perhaps anger management? One of my friends did this and she's gained so much from it. It can really help. If not hypnosis can be an option. You'd have to do this privately though- look on the British Psychotherapy register for someone in your area and ring them up to see if they can help. Often one or two sessions will be all you need.

One thing I will say is, you need to do something. Feeling like you are doing something to beat it will help you to get better. Not doing anything will only make it worse.

I hope this helps. Best of luck. Take care xx

Reply 8

Anonymous #1

OP

Ive sent him the link to this thread, all that remains is for him to see it. I've tried to explain how I feel, but I normally just break down, or can't speak. Ive cried so many times during me writing this thread, its ridiculous.

Why can't I be happy?

Related discussions

Articles for you