random problem

iv got a brill bf, who iv been going out with for nearly 2 years, and its pretty serious. i love him with all of my heart and would never do anything to hurt him, but in th past few weeks this guy tht i had a think for has come back on the scene. iv seen him in town a few times when iv been out, and had chats with him and stuff and iv realised iv still got a bit of a softspot for him, but nothing would ever happen with him again because i no tht it would be the end for me and my boyfrend, but im finding it hard to stop thinking about this guy. should i tell my boyfrend about him and explain the situation or just leave it and carry on like everything fine? its confusing me

Reply 1

prettygreeneyes99

9

leave it, dont mention it to your boyfriend! alot of people get crushes on other people when they are in a relationship. Just try and remember how good your boyfriend is and hopefully you will have forgotten about the other guy in a week or two :smile:

Reply 2

Lauraa2908

I too would leave it,and as the other poster said,everyone has crushes regardless of whether or not they are in a relationship :wink:

Its perfectly normal.

If you know nothing is going to happen between the two of you(meaning you and the other guy)then there is no harm in keeping it to yourself! x

Reply 3

sean.phoenix

Same as the other posters, just make sure you don't put yourself in any situation that means the two of you are alone. If it gets really bad you could talk to your bf, assuming he's the sweet sensitive understanding type...

Reply 4

The Bishman

8

Imagine the opposite happened, and he came to you saying this, i reckon it would destroy you emotionally. Just keep it quiet, get over it and remember you have an amazing boyfriend.

Reply 5

Truman

3

if my gf told me she had a crush on another guy id be devastated. i know its a bit illogical but id be really upset. so basically dont tell your boyf!

Reply 6

Do Chickens Fly

8

Anonymous

iv got a brill bf, who iv been going out with for nearly 2 years, and its pretty serious. i love him with all of my heart and would never do anything to hurt him, but in th past few weeks this guy tht i had a think for has come back on the scene. iv seen him in town a few times when iv been out, and had chats with him and stuff and iv realised iv still got a bit of a softspot for him, but nothing would ever happen with him again because i no tht it would be the end for me and my boyfrend, but im finding it hard to stop thinking about this guy. should i tell my boyfrend about him and explain the situation or just leave it and carry on like everything fine? its confusing me

Don't be led around by your emotions - it will end badly. The grass is always greener on the other side.

Reply 7

Ang|ophi|e

12

If you want to stay with your bf then stay with him. Why on Earth would you want to tell him about this guy? Only if you actually act on your feelings for him should you tell your bf anything.

Reply 8

herbal bug

12

I'd say keep it to yourself, there's no real need to tell your boyfriend. if the feelings get stronger, i'd say tell your boyfriend, but at the moment it sounds like a crush so you need not tell him.

Reply 9

khil

15

If you want to tell your bf, do so. When I got paranoid that I might fancy another guy, I told my bf. And talking to my bf actually helped me realise that I'm only worrying about this because I didn't want to lose my bf and I was just THAT scared of losing him. That calmed me down as I realise then that I'm devoted to my boyfriend and I know I'm not gonna wreck things with him :smile:

If you know you fancy another guy - then back off and cut contact for a while, or keep contact to a minimum, until your feelings have cooled off. Do whatever is necessary to keep your relationship together - if your bf's that important to you, then surely you'll be able to sacrifice a bit of a friendship for the relationship?

On the other hand if it's just a soft spot, that could be nothing. I mean, I was paranoid about that myself until I realise that soft spot I have for my friend is actually quite normal and natural (long story) and it doesn't mean anything. But only you will know and only you can assess whether that soft spot really doesn't mean anything, and if you find that it actually does, then back off for the sake of your relationship. Otherwise, stop worrying.

Personally I just felt so confused and guilty that I had to tell my bf and he was fine with it as he realised it all stemmed from the fact that I quite simply honestly do not want to lose him. I dunno, I always say honesty is the best policy. Be prepared though if you told your bf it might mean he would mind you hanging out with this guy you're on about and you'll have to be prepared to do what's necessary for your relationship.

Reply 10

DodgyTrousers

7

You will fancy other men (and maybe even women) from time to time. Hollywood would have us believe otherwise, but it's not true.
That's your genes looking to procreate, it can't be helped really.

Remember, there's nothing wrong with what you think. Doing something about it is the part that nobody likes.

Reply 11

polarbear89

this is actually happened to me. i actually told my boyfriend about this guy. at first he was hurt but i assured him. and we're still together (nearly 2 years). by telling him its alot easier for the both of us to talk about our feelings. and we both realised that we are madly in love with each other and nothing will get in our way.

random problem

Related discussions

Articles for you