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Financial independance

I don't want to come across as a whiney little rich kid because I realise I'm really lucky. But basicaly my Dad gives me and my sister money whenever we ask for it and I don't know when I'll ever become financially independant.
I've just taken a gap year and at the start I was really keen to save as much cash as possible and took on two jobs. I didn't buy any clothes or cds etc however I still went out whenever I wanted and I know I could have saved more cash if I'd tried. I went to Paris for three months and did a language course(Found out it's a VERY expensive city to live in.) My parents were really supportive of my gap year so didn't mind helping me out financially, we sort of loosely agreed that whatever money I earnt they would double but when I said that to my Dad he just said "look don't worry we'll sort u out with cash when u need it" which was abit ambigious really cause then I didn't know how much I had to spend. Anyways at first I was doing quite well, budgetting etc but then when I had used up all the money in my bank which I had earnt through part time jobs my Dad just transfered a hundred quid into my account whenever I needed it and I started to loose track of how much I had spent. I knew my gap year would be expensive but my parents ended up paying more than they had estimated and I feel really bad. I offered to pay them back but they said no. My dad was pleased that Id done so much with my gap year even though he was abit pissed with me for spending so much (i spent way more on food/transport etc than I could have done if id been sensible about it and I'm pretty annoyed at myself because I know my mum n dad have worked hard for the money they give me.) Now that I'm off to Uni he doesn't want me to get a part-time job! he says he wants me to concentrate on my studies and we had this blazing row over it because I want to have some degree of financial independence (I want to be able to save up for holidays,clothes etc not just run to daddy all the time and enter in to a debate about what im buying, waiting for him to deciede whether he gives me money or not based on his opinion on what Im buying.) I argued that every other student seams to handle a part-time job and uni but he went into this thing about prefering me to join some sports teams at uni instead of pouring pints behind a bar or sumthing ridiculous. He's just abit bloody hypocritical because he goes on about how private education is wrong because parents are buying privelege for their little darlings and things like that.
I mean my sister is 22 now and he still sorts her out with money, and I don't want to be the same! Am I right to go against my dads wishes and just get a job at Uni anyway and proove him wrong? But I don't want to seam really ungrateful because I know tons of my friends who are in tons of dept, constantly worrying about money and I have it really easy.
I really want to do more travelling and I think if i save up purely myself for my next trip and refuse any money from him for it might show him that I CAN actually stand on my own two feet.
Sorry for the length of this post I just need some advice because I don't want to spend my parents money like a spoilt little brat until Im 35! How much financial aid do u get from your parents? and would u refuse money if they were giving you too much or is it naive to think you can have any sence of financial indpendence while your a student? I'm 18 btw if that matters. Thanks in advance for replies.

Reply 1

rebekahn

i think the first step towards becoming financially independent is realizing that you will one day have to pay your own way, so it'll not take too much for you, as you've come this far already!

best advice is indeed to get a part time job! i got my first part time job when i was 15 and i stuck it out for over 2 years! saved as much as possible and was able to pay for all my driving lessons, buy a car, pay for insurance and buy a laptop! then i took a year out after my a levels and worked the whole year and i put as much of my wages as possible into an ISA (which is tax free savings, so you get loads of interest) and now i have enough money to pay for all my tuition fees for uni!

my advice would be get a part time job and save as much as you can, you can still get money from your parents if they are willing to give it! eventually you'll have enough money saved up to buy yourself somethin nice, or even better just save it and don't touch it and it can be towards a deposit on a mortgage or something useful!

I think its far better to save and plan for the future rather than work all week just to spend all your money at the weekend! you appreciate your money a lot more when you work for it and you see it all adding up in a savings account!

Reply 2

Tyler Durden

17

Anonymous

I don't want to come across as a whiney little rich kid because I realise I'm really lucky. But basicaly my Dad gives me and my sister money whenever we ask for it and I don't know when I'll ever become financially independant.
I've just taken a gap year and at the start I was really keen to save as much cash as possible and took on two jobs. I didn't buy any clothes or cds etc however I still went out whenever I wanted and I know I could have saved more cash if I'd tried. I went to Paris for three months and did a language course(Found out it's a VERY expensive city to live in.) My parents were really supportive of my gap year so didn't mind helping me out financially, we sort of loosely agreed that whatever money I earnt they would double but when I said that to my Dad he just said "look don't worry we'll sort u out with cash when u need it" which was abit ambigious really cause then I didn't know how much I had to spend. Anyways at first I was doing quite well, budgetting etc but then when I had used up all the money in my bank which I had earnt through part time jobs my Dad just transfered a hundred quid into my account whenever I needed it and I started to loose track of how much I had spent. I knew my gap year would be expensive but my parents ended up paying more than they had estimated and I feel really bad. I offered to pay them back but they said no. My dad was pleased that Id done so much with my gap year even though he was abit pissed with me for spending so much (i spent way more on food/transport etc than I could have done if id been sensible about it and I'm pretty annoyed at myself because I know my mum n dad have worked hard for the money they give me.) Now that I'm off to Uni he doesn't want me to get a part-time job! he says he wants me to concentrate on my studies and we had this blazing row over it because I want to have some degree of financial independence (I want to be able to save up for holidays,clothes etc not just run to daddy all the time and enter in to a debate about what im buying, waiting for him to deciede whether he gives me money or not based on his opinion on what Im buying.) I argued that every other student seams to handle a part-time job and uni but he went into this thing about prefering me to join some sports teams at uni instead of pouring pints behind a bar or sumthing ridiculous. He's just abit bloody hypocritical because he goes on about how private education is wrong because parents are buying privelege for their little darlings and things like that.
I mean my sister is 22 now and he still sorts her out with money, and I don't want to be the same! Am I right to go against my dads wishes and just get a job at Uni anyway and proove him wrong? But I don't want to seam really ungrateful because I know tons of my friends who are in tons of dept, constantly worrying about money and I have it really easy.
I really want to do more travelling and I think if i save up purely myself for my next trip and refuse any money from him for it might show him that I CAN actually stand on my own two feet.
Sorry for the length of this post I just need some advice because I don't want to spend my parents money like a spoilt little brat until Im 35! How much financial aid do u get from your parents? and would u refuse money if they were giving you too much or is it naive to think you can have any sence of financial indpendence while your a student? I'm 18 btw if that matters. Thanks in advance for replies.

I am in a fairly similar situation - except I reckon that come the end of Uni I will have to be financially independent. In fact, my dad keeps reminding me of that. But he says the same thing about not working at Uni, and to be honest I am pretty grateful for that - I do a fair bit of extra stuff in my free time. The thing to do is work in the holidays - I did two weeks at a summer camp and got £700. To be fair I am about to blow that on holiday... but at least I earnt it.

Reply 3

love_mojitos

2

Dont get a part time job unless you want to. I dont work much yet my parents give me, £0.
Look just go to Uni, let him pay the rent and fees and then set limits to how much you will spend each month. Set a budget I would say £300 a month and then you earn money in summer which you keep for yourself. If your parents can afford it then why not.
P.S. Do you need a new best friend?

Reply 4

cpj1987

15

Anonymous

I don't want to come across as a whiney little rich kid because I realise I'm really lucky. But basicaly my Dad gives me and my sister money whenever we ask for it and I don't know when I'll ever become financially independant.
I've just taken a gap year and at the start I was really keen to save as much cash as possible and took on two jobs. I didn't buy any clothes or cds etc however I still went out whenever I wanted and I know I could have saved more cash if I'd tried. I went to Paris for three months and did a language course(Found out it's a VERY expensive city to live in.) My parents were really supportive of my gap year so didn't mind helping me out financially, we sort of loosely agreed that whatever money I earnt they would double but when I said that to my Dad he just said "look don't worry we'll sort u out with cash when u need it" which was abit ambigious really cause then I didn't know how much I had to spend. Anyways at first I was doing quite well, budgetting etc but then when I had used up all the money in my bank which I had earnt through part time jobs my Dad just transfered a hundred quid into my account whenever I needed it and I started to loose track of how much I had spent. I knew my gap year would be expensive but my parents ended up paying more than they had estimated and I feel really bad. I offered to pay them back but they said no. My dad was pleased that Id done so much with my gap year even though he was abit pissed with me for spending so much (i spent way more on food/transport etc than I could have done if id been sensible about it and I'm pretty annoyed at myself because I know my mum n dad have worked hard for the money they give me.) Now that I'm off to Uni he doesn't want me to get a part-time job! he says he wants me to concentrate on my studies and we had this blazing row over it because I want to have some degree of financial independence (I want to be able to save up for holidays,clothes etc not just run to daddy all the time and enter in to a debate about what im buying, waiting for him to deciede whether he gives me money or not based on his opinion on what Im buying.) I argued that every other student seams to handle a part-time job and uni but he went into this thing about prefering me to join some sports teams at uni instead of pouring pints behind a bar or sumthing ridiculous. He's just abit bloody hypocritical because he goes on about how private education is wrong because parents are buying privelege for their little darlings and things like that.
I mean my sister is 22 now and he still sorts her out with money, and I don't want to be the same! Am I right to go against my dads wishes and just get a job at Uni anyway and proove him wrong? But I don't want to seam really ungrateful because I know tons of my friends who are in tons of dept, constantly worrying about money and I have it really easy.
I really want to do more travelling and I think if i save up purely myself for my next trip and refuse any money from him for it might show him that I CAN actually stand on my own two feet.
Sorry for the length of this post I just need some advice because I don't want to spend my parents money like a spoilt little brat until Im 35! How much financial aid do u get from your parents? and would u refuse money if they were giving you too much or is it naive to think you can have any sence of financial indpendence while your a student? I'm 18 btw if that matters. Thanks in advance for replies.

You wouldn't be ungrateful to get a job at university. Uni is about the whole experience, jobs and budgeting included.
I don't get any financial contribution from my parents, but even if I had that opportunity, I'd say no, as I don't feel it's a parent's responsibility, and I also wouldn't get the sense of pride and acheivement from relying on others.
I think it's great that you want to stand on your own two feet, even though you've been given a chance otherwise.
Go for the job if that's what you want, and take on university on your own - you'll feel better for it, and you'll prove to yourself, and your parents, that you're ready for 'the real world'. :smile:

Reply 5

bethy_uk

I'm in pretty much the same situation. I tried to have a couple of part time jobs against my parents wishes but found I couldn't stick them out because I wasn't earning as much as my parents would have given me. At the moment I have kind of given in to the fact that the money I have is mostly what my parents have given me and I'm just grateful I won't have to work during university. It does annoy me sometimes though because I want to save for holidays etc but my parents are against me getting a job and I don't want to expect them to pay for everything. Sometimes I feel guilty when I'm with friends that have to work because I feel so lazy and spoilt but I'm just gonna make sure I use the time at uni that I would have spent in a part time job to good effect.

Reply 6

History_is...

6

You have plenty of years to be financially independant, make the most of your time at university and then worry about maintaining yourself after you graduate. Perhaps you could reach a compromise with your dad where you do set tasks when at home and in return he gives you a set amount of money per term? My parents do pretty much this, that way I still have to budget etc and learn to be financially responsible, and I feel a little more like i deserve the money I have, but I don't work except for doing stuff for my parents.

Reply 7

qubog

12

My parents would whip my arse if I didn't have a job. I pay for everything myself but when i really really need money they'll help me out if they can...I think most people at uni are in a similar situation. They wouldn't see me go homeless or anything but they won't pay for everything for me. Why would they?

At the same time, this hasn't made me any better with money. It burns a hole in my pocket...maybe a result of never having any because i have to buy everything myself hah!

Reply 8

KarlZ

I think its a godo thing that you want to earn your own money, many people in a situation like yours would happily carry on and when they would finally have to face the REAL world where everything costs money and you need a good job to earn it then it would come as a REAL shock to their systems.
I've had a job since I was 16, alright Im not as good with money as I could be but everythig I buy is my own and to be honest that alone can often stop you being stupidly frivolous. I know that if it wasnt my own money i was spending I would be a lot more carefree with it all. Dont get me wrong when i my parents will contribute financially when I need them e.g. Uni rent etc. I think getting a job at uni would be a good way of gaining some independence and would be good fro you providing it doesnt interfere with your own studies. Why dont you work out an arrangement with your Dad? Something like you working 1-2 days a week whereby you would still have lots of time to dedicate to your studies, hobbies and social life. I mean at the end of the day if you are living at uni how would he know you have a job anyway?
Its quite refreshing to meet someone who although they are in a better situation financially than most of us they realise that one day the bank of Mum & Dad will close and then only the banks like HSBC are an option who just are as friendly or generous!

Reply 9

Isis07

I think you might have problems finding a job after uni if you have absolutely no recent work experience - even a bar job shows you have communications skills, time management skills, cash handling, can be relied upon to turn up, etc. Perhaps if you put across that sort of arguement with your parents and agree to limit the hours you work during term time they might be agreeable. You in turn could agree to tell them if you need financial aid and to budget properly. You could also look at relevent work to your choosen career to give you a bit of a boost as well as soon cash - most uni's have a section in the careers office that specialise in this sort of contract - often it's things like if your interested in law 10 hrs a week doing admin on min wage in a solicitors office - but it gives you an idea of the day-to-day work.

There's no reason why you can't balance studies, work and some clubs/teams/sports/whatever

when I was at uni I worked four jobs at a time around studying and looking after my mam (she was ill at the time) I still managed to get a 2:1 - it's just a case of being organised and managing your time - two skills most employers would love to see in a potential employee.

Reply 10

anonymous1432

7

Trust me, if you are in a position to not to have to work at uni, and you can fully concentrate on your studies, then take it.

I dont think anybody would work at uni if they had financial freedom, and working at costcutters for a few months aint going to make your cv a lot better.

Your lucky to have such generous parents, so take the money while you can because it may not be there for ever.

Reply 11

tlyh

I wish someone would put me in that kind of difficult position! But seriously, it's good that you want to be independent but don't look a gift horse in the mouth. As happened in your gap year, you had good intentions and worked hard but still came unstuck because of poor planning and lack of experience, no big deal, and you were lucky to have your parents to help you out. Uni is such hard work, there is no point getting a job for the sake of it. It would be better to concentrate on your studies and get the best degree you possibly can while enjoying yourself and leaving enough time to relax. Also make sure you sort out plenty of work experience etc in the summers. Stuff that will enhance your CV rather than destroy your soul. It really isn't fun being on the brink of your overdraft limit with no one to help you out, and ending up with £20k of loans. And then being so exhausted from 20 hours of lectures and your own study time and then having to work as well.

Maybe see how things go at uni. If after a semester or 2 you feel you can take on a job as well, then go for it. If your dad still wants to give you some allowance on top of your wages then you could be really sensible and start saving. Or if you can find something relevant to your career you can get some unpaid work in that field.

I think it's good that you actually want to be responsible for your actions, but don't resent your parents for wanting to help you. If they can afford it and are willing, maybe you can reach a compromise. Like a monthly allowance that they are not allowed to go over, which will force you to budget and think about everything you need to pay for, and prepare you for real life when you might not have or want the luxury of your parent's support. It's good to have a safety net. As long as you realise the value of money, which to me it seems you do, I wouldnt worry about getting a job just to prove a point.

Reply 12

greeneggs

10

How about asking for an allowance - your parents put a fixed sum of money into your account every month, and you have to make it last until the next month.
Voila = You can learn how to budget and keep track of your spending, whilst also having the spare time to join a sports team.

I'm on my gap year, and as of tomorrow, I will have to start paying my parents rent. :eek:

In your situation I would be extatic. However, if you do feel a deep, desperate need to work then go for it. But don't go for it if the only reason is that you feel bad for being privileged and think that you should be in the same boat as everyone else.

"Some are born great [or well off], some achieve greatness [or finance]
And some have greatness [or riches] thrust upon them." It is the way of the world.
xx
e.

Reply 13

Helenia

20

emmajcunningham

How about asking for an allowance - your parents put a fixed sum of money into your account every month, and you have to make it last until the next month.
Voila = You can learn how to budget and keep track of your spending, whilst also having the spare time to join a sports team.

I think this sounds like a fairly decent idea. It's more structured than him just giving you money when you ask for it, and will give you the responsibility of deciding how much you spend and on what.

At my uni, we're not allowed part-time jobs in term time, but most people I know work in the summer holidays to earn some cash to make up for the year's excesses. Doing that wouldn't impede your degree, any extra-curriculars or (hopefully) your social life.

Reply 14

*The One

1

I can sympathise with the OP. My parents are my source of money for everything because I don't have a job/can't get one. So I feel like I have to repress my views and freedom of choice in order to please them all the time, it's really restrictive and i can't wait for uni!

Reply 15

upagumtree

12

I think its good that you realise that independance is something you have to learn.Over the past few months I've come to a decision that I want to be more financially independant,it would just bring more of a sense of accomplishment and pride.My parents pay for my accomodation which I'm really thankful for but if they were to offer me any more money for living costs I would have to decline.I'm getting a part-time job this year so I might be able to pay back the accomodation fees some day.

Reply 16

grace

15

at least you recognise that the wise thing to do is learn some budgeting/financial planning skills now...

my bf had a job on his gapyear (the only job he has ever had) because he had a really good placement with a very well-known and respected company. all the money he made from that has gone into a savings account, which he never touches.

he refuses to get a 'not important' job as he calls it (ie anything that doesn't directly relate to the career path he intends to take) and does not have a student loan, therefore mooches entirely off of his parents. i have seen some of his bank statements and have seen for myself amounts up to £2k being transferred directly into his account - that's not even for his rent, bills, phone bill etc because his parents pay for that directly.

they also pay for the running of his car, repairing any damage and fill up his petrol tank every time he's home or they visit him.

It's fair enough that he's so lucky to have wealthy parents, but it kind of scares me when i consider a future with him - my parents are relatively well-off, but apart from paying my tuiton fees i have always received zero financial support from them and as a result am quite good with money. He is not - he's frivolous and a snob so has incredibly expensive taste!

I got my first job when i was 13 and since then i've been pretty much living off my own work - i couldn't even afford to eat more than one meal a day last year (although to be fair my parents would have helped me out had they known what the situation was) but i've learned some very good money skills the hard way!

Reply 17

lea164

I would take the oppurtunity to focus on your studies during term time and get a summer job and save money from that to get financial independence. you will have your whole life to work for money, but only a limited time to spend on your studying. a lot of people don't get the financial support that is being offered to you, you are very lucky to have your parents financial support.

Financial independance

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