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obbsessed by getting revenge!

My ex did something horrific to me, and as a result I have been signed off sick and given anti depressants, threapy etc. I am still in shock over what he did. I am taking legal advice and so far that is going OK, but I have spent the last week constantly thinking about me revenge plan and am anxious that it will fall to pieces.

Bascially he is a doctor and I am in the process of getting him discilplined at work ( he admitted guilt to some things, cos he had to) and am going to report him to the GMC, where it is almost certain ( because he admitted to some things) that he will be disciplined and may have to face a fitness to practice hearing. I also plan to tip of the local press to cause him further shame. I am really hoping that this all goes to plan and it has been all that ive been thinking about for over a week.

emotionally I am a wreck and even the simplist of things seem difficult, my threapist was away on holdiay and i dont see her now until Thursday.

I am still reeling over what he did and he did not even say sorry or show and remorse, deep down I think a part of me still loves him and i wish he never did what he did. He did not even explained when i tried txting him and ringing him he refused to explain, then he went to the police and accused me of harrasing him, so now I have been told NOT to contact him, this makes it even more difficult to get closure.

I really cant go into the details of what he did, but it is a lot more serious than, he he cheated on me, he dumped me etc. He really did cause my psychological damage by his actions.

I do think getting revenge may help the healing process, in that when the pain and shock heals I can look back with a smug satification that I damaged him career, reputation and caused him stress etc.

I cant put off gettting revenge, the wheels are already in motion, in that he is due to meat with his seniors this coming week, and the sooner i gather all the evidence for the GMC, the better.

I just wish i could speed up this process and get some closure so i can move on with my life.

I guess im just asking for advice on how i can stop being so obbessed with it all, i think about him and revenege from the moment i wake up which is usally about 5am, till i got to sleep which is about 1am, so yeah im doing pretty badly at the moment.

ive been taking my anti deps for 2 weeks and i dont think they are making much difference, ive also taken up self medicating with booze and valium :rolleyes:

I just hope I dont crack up before im due to see my psych on thursday. :frown:

Reply 1

Dalimyr

17

Giving this a little bump because it took a while before it was approved :smile:

Reply 2

Bubblebee

15

First of all, drop the booze. It never ever helps! Especially when you are anti-deps too... because we don't know what he did (you don't need to say either) but it makes it hard for us to help, are you sure you need to do this?

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

OP

bumble bee- yes, if i do nothing when i have the chance to, then i just know that i would regret it, and by reporting him i may get some answers to a lot of questions although no doubt he will try and mitigate as much as possible.

basically the CPS cannot prosecute due to various things, but he has admitted guilt to certain things that will damage his career and reputation if I pursue it.

i dont think it is best for me to go into details, i guess what I am asking for it advice on how to deal with my obbessive thoughts about revenge.

im doing my best to lay off the booze so far ive not drunk today.

Reply 4

prettygreeneyes99

9

Well if he's done something wrong as a doctor then its only right for him to be punished for it, whether its for revenge or not.

As for the obsessive thoughts of revenge, it sounds like he's done something pretty bad so just try to tell yourself that he's not worth the time you're wasting thinking of getting your own back on him

Reply 5

Yellowmarshmellow

What did he do to you?

Reply 6

clyn

1

prettygreeneyes99

Well if he's done something wrong as a doctor then its only right for him to be punished for it, whether its for revenge or not.

As for the obsessive thoughts of revenge, it sounds like he's done something pretty bad so just try to tell yourself that he's not worth the time you're wasting thinking of getting your own back on him

DAMN! That's what I meant, in less words.

Reply 7

prettygreeneyes99

9

clyn

DAMN! That's what I meant, in less words.

Haha, sorry :p:

Reply 8

Anonymous #1

OP

clyn

First off - what a worthless, scummy, pathetic excuse for a human being he is!
Secondly - you're BETTER than him. Do NOT let him drag you down to his level because then he's won, whatever you do. He's trying to make a constant impact on your life so you'll always remember him, what he did and that he did it. You don't need to play that gob****e's game.
Thirdly - don't hurt yourself. Revenge fantasies are acceptable because it's giving you an opportunity to play out a scenario with none of the real-life repurcussions. But you're going to have to leave that scumbag in the past, where he belongs, or risk harming yourself.
He's going to pay for what he did, but you can't risk yourself and your own future happiness for this worm. You've done all you can, but do you want to be further associated with him?
What support are you getting, btw?

Thanks, I dont plan on doing anything illegal to him, but the urge to contact him is strong ( i deleted his numbers so i dont drunk dial) but it is stressful making statement and so forth I just hope that him and his medical defence lawyer dont mitiagate away all the damage he did.

I also think it was a sly manilpulitive thing for him to tell the police that i had been harrassing him, when i had every right to demand an explanation.

I see a psychotherapist and my GP had given me anti depressants and sleeping tablets and im due to see him soon. ive been told i can have a long term sick note if i like so that has taken some pressure of

Reply 9

Bubblebee

15

Do you have anyone in real life you can talk to? And well done about not drinking today, it's a hard thing and you have to take baby-steps (I know :frown:

) so you need to be happy with each day as it's an achievement.

Reply 10

Arteta

15

I'm a little lost, you can tell the local media about your situation...where they will mention names. But you can't give a brief description of what he did to you on here where you're Anonymous? Something doesn't add up.

People can't really help too much if they have no idea what happened, there's too many variables.

But anyways, by thinking about him constantly and wanting to see help and telling the papers is only giving him the attention he most likely wants, he's winning right now.
I'm definately one for revenge, i've made it my life's ambition to make something of myself as revenge for people who treated me like a loser in my earlier life, and so far it's working.
But going out to hurt somebody in particular isn't the way to go, not unless they killed your family or something.

Reply 11

--

3

clyn

First off - what a worthless, scummy, pathetic excuse for a human being he is!
Secondly - you're BETTER than him. Do NOT let him drag you down to his level because then he's won, whatever you do. He's trying to make a constant impact on your life so you'll always remember him, what he did and that he did it. You don't need to play that gob****e's game.
Thirdly - don't hurt yourself. Revenge fantasies are acceptable because it's giving you an opportunity to play out a scenario with none of the real-life repurcussions. But you're going to have to leave that scumbag in the past, where he belongs, or risk harming yourself.
He's going to pay for what he did, but you can't risk yourself and your own future happiness for this worm. You've done all you can, but do you want to be further associated with him?
What support are you getting, btw?

Do you know something the rest of us don't? There aren't any details of what he did or didn't do, so how can you be so emotive?

Reply 12

Anonymous #1

OP

Bourne

I'm a little lost, you can tell the local media about your situation...where they will mention names. But you can't give a brief description of what he did to you on here where you're Anonymous? Something doesn't add up.

Until the case is over I cant say a word, when and even if the GMC issues him with a warning, suspend his registration etc, THEN i can go the local press, and it would cause him shame and hassle and patients might even refuse to see him.

Reply 13

clyn

1

3232

Do you know something the rest of us don't? There aren't any details of what he did or didn't do, so how can you be so emotive?

I have crystal balls.

Reply 14

username47781

20

Instead of trying to contact him, concentrate on reporting this scumbag.

Reply 15

FCabinet34x72

1

Anonymous

Until the case is over I cant say a word, when and even if the GMC issues him with a warning, suspend his registration etc, THEN i can go the local press, and it would cause him shame and hassle and patients might even refuse to see him.

All sounds like a rather SENSITIVE sort of 'case to me' best not to go 'any further' than you have to really!

Reply 16

Rei

14

Dont you think your going a bit too far just because he cheated on you :s-smilie:

Reply 17

Bubblebee

15

FCabinet34x72

All sounds like a rather SENSITIVE sort of 'case to me' best not to go 'any further' than you have to really!

YAY! My favourite person!

anyway: OP, if the case does get publicised you are going to get alot of unwanted attention too... from his friends and family, are you sure you are going to be able to deal with that?

Reply 18

</gibberish>

12

You absolutley must not contact him if you are pursuing legal aid, it could look very bad in court if you were to so blatantly ignore a court order.

Reply 19

username47781

20

Rei

Dont you think your going a bit too far just because he cheated on you :s-smilie:

Er I think according to this he did something rather worse than cheating.

obbsessed by getting revenge!

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