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obbsessed by getting revenge!

My ex did something horrific to me, and as a result I have been signed off sick and given anti depressants, threapy etc. I am still in shock over what he did. I am taking legal advice and so far that is going OK, but I have spent the last week constantly thinking about me revenge plan and am anxious that it will fall to pieces.

Bascially he is a doctor and I am in the process of getting him discilplined at work ( he admitted guilt to some things, cos he had to) and am going to report him to the GMC, where it is almost certain ( because he admitted to some things) that he will be disciplined and may have to face a fitness to practice hearing. I also plan to tip of the local press to cause him further shame. I am really hoping that this all goes to plan and it has been all that ive been thinking about for over a week.

emotionally I am a wreck and even the simplist of things seem difficult, my threapist was away on holdiay and i dont see her now until Thursday.

I am still reeling over what he did and he did not even say sorry or show and remorse, deep down I think a part of me still loves him and i wish he never did what he did. He did not even explained when i tried txting him and ringing him he refused to explain, then he went to the police and accused me of harrasing him, so now I have been told NOT to contact him, this makes it even more difficult to get closure.

I really cant go into the details of what he did, but it is a lot more serious than, he he cheated on me, he dumped me etc. He really did cause my psychological damage by his actions.

I do think getting revenge may help the healing process, in that when the pain and shock heals I can look back with a smug satification that I damaged him career, reputation and caused him stress etc.

I cant put off gettting revenge, the wheels are already in motion, in that he is due to meat with his seniors this coming week, and the sooner i gather all the evidence for the GMC, the better.

I just wish i could speed up this process and get some closure so i can move on with my life.

I guess im just asking for advice on how i can stop being so obbessed with it all, i think about him and revenege from the moment i wake up which is usally about 5am, till i got to sleep which is about 1am, so yeah im doing pretty badly at the moment.

ive been taking my anti deps for 2 weeks and i dont think they are making much difference, ive also taken up self medicating with booze and valium :rolleyes:

I just hope I dont crack up before im due to see my psych on thursday. :frown:

Reply 20

Anonymous #1

OP

Rei

Dont you think your going a bit too far just because he cheated on you :s-smilie:

He did not cheat on me, it is complex issue involving the police, lawyers, the NHS, and the General Medical Council etc.

(I expected a troll / smart arse reply at some point :rolleyes:

)

Reply 21

--

3

Anonymous

(I expected a troll / smart arse reply at some point :rolleyes:

)

I don't know what other replies you really expected, you haven't given us anywhere enough information to reply properly. If the case is so serious that it's going through the GMC and you're thinking about dragging him through the media, maybe you should keep these issues private and discuss them with your therapist? At least you could actually get some decent advice from them, as you'll be able to explain everything.

Reply 22

Rei

14

That wasnt me being smart, just a little confused.. i didnt understand what the problem was... dont see why you had to say i was being a smart arse... :\

Edit: Thanks 3232 lol. exactly what i was thinking..

Reply 23

Deipnosophist123

8

I agree with the cynics and 3232, we can't help you if you give no details whatsoever. For all we know - if it involves the GMC - he could have aenesthetised you illegally at home and raped you, then slaughtered your pet cat...anything could have happened as far as we're aware

Reply 24

Anonymous #1

OP

3232

I don't know what other replies you really expected, you haven't given us anywhere enough information to reply properly. If the case is so serious that it's going through the GMC and you're thinking about dragging him through the media, maybe you should keep these issues private and discuss them with your therapist? At least you could actually get some decent advice from them, as you'll be able to explain everything.

I guess I just wanted advice or experiences from others that sought out or were obbessed by revenge at some stage in thier lives. or how to cope with rumuinating thoughts about this guy and revenge.

or any tips on how to just deal with the hurt and get by without drinking etc.

sadly i dont see my therapist until thursday,( she knows the details, but i only see her for an hour a week) im just looking for ANY kind of additional support. I plan to keep the details private until the GMC makes thier judgement.

Reply 25

Anonymous #1

OP

Deipnosophist123

I agree with the cynics and 3232, we can't help you if you give no details whatsoever. For all we know - if it involves the GMC - he could have aenesthetised you illegally at home and raped you, then slaughtered your pet cat...anything could have happened as far as we're aware

I am not asking for advice on how to deal with what he did to me ( my therapist is helping me with that) just on dealing with obbessive thoughts.

I guess just find it helpful to vent anon on here and appreciate any kind words, advice or wisdom

Reply 26

username47781

20

If you go round shouting your mouth off saying how you are going to bring this guy down, it won't help you at all. Your best bet is to keep quiet about what you are going to do i.e. with reporting him.

Reply 27

Laevis

13

Deipnosophist123

I agree with the cynics and 3232, we can't help you if you give no details whatsoever. For all we know - if it involves the GMC - he could have aenesthetised you illegally at home and raped you, then slaughtered your pet cat...anything could have happened as far as we're aware

You don't need to know any specifics in order to help the OP. She doesn't want advice on the case as that is being dealt with. She can't disclose any information untill after the case has been heard by the courts, that is standard procedure.

If you read the post properly you will have noticed that what she wants is help in dealing with the obsessive thoughts about revenge that she is experiencing and how best to deal with them.

Sorry if i sounded harsh on you Deipnosophist123 but it's unfair to be mean to the OP when she has just come asking for help.

Reply 28

Bluth.

16

Like the others said, not knowing the circumstances I don't feel I can give much advice. Sorry. In terms of coping intill your therapist returns- perhaps there is a confidential national helpline you can call?

I really hope this sitution can be sorted out with as little mess as possible and hopefully he will get the legal punishment he deserves.

Reply 29

Tyler Durden

17

Anonymous

I am not asking for advice on how to deal with what he did to me ( my therapist is helping me with that) just on dealing with obbessive thoughts.

Why don't you book yourself in for a double session with the therapist and you can ask him/her about the obsessive thoughts too? Frankly no one here is going to be able to offer you much advice seeing as it's apparently so serious... and because no one knows what it's even all about.

Clyn - your initial post is SUCH a stupid response; you have no idea what the guy did, yet you call him a "worthless, scummy, pathetic excuse for a human being." :rolleyes:

Reply 30

Jennybean

13

Sehnsucht

Clyn - your initial post is SUCH a stupid response; you have no idea what the guy did, yet you call him a "worthless, scummy, pathetic excuse for a human being." :rolleyes:

Maybe he's Jeremy Kyle under an alias.

Reply 31

upagumtree

12

Sehnsucht

Clyn - your initial post is SUCH a stupid response; you have no idea what the guy did, yet you call him a "worthless, scummy, pathetic excuse for a human being." :rolleyes:

If he has caused the OP psychological harm where she now has to take anti-depressants and se a therapist then it must be something pretty horrible.I don't think its just a case of leaving the toilet seat up or something. :rolleyes:

OP-Its understandable that you would have thoughts of revenge but maybe its best not to go crazy with it.If he is in fact,guilty of something serious then perhaps you are right to report him but after that,maybe its best to just concentrate on your therapy and getting through this.I'm sure the pain will heal in time and you will some day be able to move on.
But to be honest,it would be better if you'd give us some idea of what he has done.Then maybe we'd be able to help you more?

Reply 32

Tyler Durden

17

upagumtree

If he has caused the OP psychological harm where she now has to take anti-depressants and se a therapist then it must be something pretty horrible.I don't think its just a case of leaving the toilet seat up or something. :rolleyes:

Yeah, because we're all entirely certain that before this bastard ripped her life apart she was a perfectly well-adjusted, happy, smiley person with no issues.... ou pas (French for 'or not').

Reply 33

clyn

1

Sehnsucht

Clyn - your initial post is SUCH a stupid response; you have no idea what the guy did, yet you call him a "worthless, scummy, pathetic excuse for a human being." :rolleyes:

*snort* Like I need your approval.
Did you read the original post, smart-arse? He's obviously done something illegal and immoral to hurt her (?) so badly, and if you feel like that, don't you think you'd want people to try and understand how you're feeling? And if you can't tell people the details then bad-mouthing the perp or hearing other people do so will make you feel better. My primary concern is for the OP.

....And for further git-bashing, please tune in to datime ITV, where Commander Sharpe's wife Jane will be getting an ear-bashing for being an unmitigated slackpants and running off with the slimy swine (who was also in Angel).

Reply 34

milly.

12

Whoa. I read the OP's first post, and give or take a few details it could almost have been me writing it.

OP: I know how you feel. My (ex) did something truly horrific to me as well. I understand how it feels to be hurt/betrayed by someone you trusted/liked/loved enough to have a relationship with. I can totally empathise with you if you're finding seeking legal advice hard, I wouldn't talk to the police for ages and I still haven't got the guts to go to court. I've been on anti-depressants and seen a therapist too. The only thing I can say to you (and I'm sorry that it's cliched) is: things will get better, and what comes around goes around.

x

Reply 35

upagumtree

12

boys-play-rock-and-roll

Whoa. I read the OP's first post, and give or take a few details it could almost have been me writing it.

OP: I know how you feel. My (ex) did something truly horrific to me as well. I understand how it feels to be hurt/betrayed by someone you trusted/liked/loved enough to have a relationship with. I can totally empathise with you if you're finding seeking legal advice hard, I wouldn't talk to the police for ages and I still haven't got the guts to go to court. I've been on anti-depressants and seen a therapist too. The only thing I can say to you (and I'm sorry that it's cliched) is: things will get better, and what comes around goes around.

x

Juicy.

I'm sorry but i really want to know what people's bfs have done to them!I'm so nosey :p:

You both have my sympathy though.

Reply 36

Fleece

15

All sounds a bit pathetic to me. *awaits neg rep*

I agree 100% with everything Sehnsucht has said so far. Ask your therapist - clue's in the title.

Reply 37

Tyler Durden

17

clyn

*snort* Like I need your approval.
Did you read the original post, smart-arse? He's obviously done something illegal and immoral to hurt her (?) so badly, and if you feel like that, don't you think you'd want people to try and understand how you're feeling? And if you can't tell people the details then bad-mouthing the perp or hearing other people do so will make you feel better. My primary concern is for the OP.

It's not about my approval, it's about you trying to avoid looking like a dumbass. The OP has had, by the sound of things, a restraining order put on her to stop her contacting this guy. She is then coming up with drug/booze-fuelled plans to revenge herself upon this bloke to cause him suffering and stress.

Now maybe what the guy did was awful etc, but there's equally a chance that the OP has some serious issues of her own. All I am saying is we've got one side of the story (and not even that... just a mysterious - yet apparently terrible - crime for which he might be disciplined.)

Reply 38

Joanna May

15

Fleece

All sounds a bit pathetic to me. *awaits neg rep*

I agree 100% with everything Sehnsucht has said so far. Ask your therapist - clue's in the title.

No neg rep from me, I agree. The OP just sounds spiteful and petty.

Whatever he has done to you, it is working to be resolved. Yes, you can fantasise about what will be done to him, but take it no further. Deal with the problems you have at the moment and move on, don't waste your time in spiteful media-gossiping. If what you say he did is true, and the GMC find that he has done something wrong, then he will be punished for it.

People posting on this thread aren't in a position to take sides, as they have none of the facts, just a biased account. Personally, I find it hard to take sides when the choice is between a doctor accused of malpractice and a harridan with a restraining order. You don't get restraining orders for a few phone calls.

OP, move on.

Reply 39

Spoog!

I have to agree with the previous posters too. Sure, what he did to you was (apparently) very horrific, but doesn't going to these lengths make you just as bad?
Have you honestly not thought about the repercussions of what you're doing? All actions have consequences, and what you're planning most definitly won't go unnoticed from people who don't have the same opinion of him as you do. As much as I hate throwing all these cliches around; two wrongs don't make a right. It's not going to make you feel any better in the long run, you'll feel smug for a week or so but then it'll turn into a huge mess and you'll be wishing you never bothered.
You said you're on all sorts of substances, it sounds to me like you need to get off them, and see your therapist in a what passes for normal state.
A friend of mine has an ex that is doing all sorts of stupid things to 'get revenge', and as a result she's losing all her friends, not to mention almost everyone's respect. Unless you want to end up like her I suggest you stop the madness.

Bit of a rant and I apologise, but someone needed to throw some reality on the table here. Some advice for you would be to rise above it, and not turn your life into an episode of Hollyoaks.

*Awaits neg rep, but doesn't really care*

obbsessed by getting revenge!

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