The Student Room Group

Social Anxiety at uni?

I'm just finishing up my first semester at the University of Edinburgh and I can honestly say that the time I've spent here has been the most unhappy I've ever been.

To be clear, the problem is not the course, but the change in lifestyle. I went from being very busy with school and work last year to entering my first year as a History student with only 8.5 contact hours a week. This naturally places more emphasis on extracurricular activities and cultivating an actual social life but as someone who has always been very socially anxious this change has been very difficult for me to adjust to.

Combined with the issue of moving to completely different place and going from talking to my friends and family every day to once or twice a week, the change in lifestyle has been even harder to deal with.

I just feel like everyone else is enjoying their life at university so much and I have never been more unhappy.

Does anyone have any words of wisdom from experiencing a similar situation?
You'll have to start somewhere. For many graduates getting a job is more about who you know than what qualifications you have, at least you have another 2-3 years to develop that network before finding out how tough it is to get by without a network
hmmmm
Reply 3
Original post by FangirlFreak
I'm just finishing up my first semester at the University of Edinburgh and I can honestly say that the time I've spent here has been the most unhappy I've ever been.

To be clear, the problem is not the course, but the change in lifestyle. I went from being very busy with school and work last year to entering my first year as a History student with only 8.5 contact hours a week. This naturally places more emphasis on extracurricular activities and cultivating an actual social life but as someone who has always been very socially anxious this change has been very difficult for me to adjust to.

Combined with the issue of moving to completely different place and going from talking to my friends and family every day to once or twice a week, the change in lifestyle has been even harder to deal with.

I just feel like everyone else is enjoying their life at university so much and I have never been more unhappy.

Does anyone have any words of wisdom from experiencing a similar situation?


Hi!

I'm a third year Politics student at Dundee Uni, and this semester I only had 5 hours of contact. :eek: Last year I was a direct entry to year 2 and my contact hours were about 9 hours a week, so I absolutely understand how you feel. I moved from N.Ireland to Scotland, so yeah, not seeing family or old friends was hard. I also have numerous mental health difficulties which makes making friends and socialising quite a task.

I would suggest perhaps speaking to the counselling services, and maybe see about why you do suffer from social anxiety. Do you have a diagnosis of sorts? Are you in halls? I was in halls last year and unfortunately I made no friends except my (now recent ex) boyfriend. Have you joined societies?
Original post by shawn_o1
You'll have to start somewhere. For many graduates getting a job is more about who you know than what qualifications you have, at least you have another 2-3 years to develop that network before finding out how tough it is to get by without a network


Actually, I already have a (relatively) well-paying job at home, the thing keeping me from dropping out wouldn't be to a lack of employment opportunities as such.
Original post by Airmed
Hi!

I'm a third year Politics student at Dundee Uni, and this semester I only had 5 hours of contact. :eek: Last year I was a direct entry to year 2 and my contact hours were about 9 hours a week, so I absolutely understand how you feel. I moved from N.Ireland to Scotland, so yeah, not seeing family or old friends was hard. I also have numerous mental health difficulties which makes making friends and socialising quite a task.

I would suggest perhaps speaking to the counselling services, and maybe see about why you do suffer from social anxiety. Do you have a diagnosis of sorts? Are you in halls? I was in halls last year and unfortunately I made no friends except my (now recent ex) boyfriend. Have you joined societies?


Unfortunately (?) no diagnosis as of yet, though I suppose an appointment with my GP is my first order of business when I get back home and I'll go from there.

I'm staying in halls, which isn't great I have to say and the hope that I'll hate ut a little less if I move out is motivating me to stay.
Reply 6
Original post by FangirlFreak
Unfortunately (?) no diagnosis as of yet, though I suppose an appointment with my GP is my first order of business when I get back home and I'll go from there.

I'm staying in halls, which isn't great I have to say and the hope that I'll hate ut a little less if I move out is motivating me to stay.


Are you not registered in Edinburgh? That would make treatment tricky if you are registered at home. Therapy (CBT) is the usual for social anxiety, and that is really helpful for it, from what I know.

Yeah, overall, I hated halls, and I thought things would improve once I moved out, into my own flat. And they did for a while, but my mental health is quite severe, so it plummeted again. :frown:

HOWEVER, I would use also the fact that you said you're enjoying your course as a motivator? I'm jealous actually, I would love to be studying History right now, so that is my postgrad dream. :moon:
Original post by Airmed
Are you not registered in Edinburgh? That would make treatment tricky if you are registered at home. Therapy (CBT) is the usual for social anxiety, and that is really helpful for it, from what I know.

Yeah, overall, I hated halls, and I thought things would improve once I moved out, into my own flat. And they did for a while, but my mental health is quite severe, so it plummeted again. :frown:

HOWEVER, I would use also the fact that you said you're enjoying your course as a motivator? I'm jealous actually, I would love to be studying History right now, so that is my postgrad dream. :moon:


I'm sorry to hear that, but you've got this far, right? :redface:

Yeah, I never registered in Edinburgh because I thought I didn't have any health problems (lol) so I just never made the effort. Going to the doctors in general gives me terrible anxiety, so maybe it might be easier to get a first diagnosis at home and then I can register here next term?

One thing that has put me off seeking any sort of mental health support since I've been here is the effect on my parents. I'm the one living here at the end of the day, but I don't know how they'd take it.
Reply 8
Original post by FangirlFreak
I'm sorry to hear that, but you've got this far, right? :redface:

Yeah, I never registered in Edinburgh because I thought I didn't have any health problems (lol) so I just never made the effort. Going to the doctors in general gives me terrible anxiety, so maybe it might be easier to get a first diagnosis at home and then I can register here next term?

One thing that has put me off seeking any sort of mental health support since I've been here is the effect on my parents. I'm the one living here at the end of the day, but I don't know how they'd take it.


A GP might diagnose you, but they will refer you to the mental health services so perhaps it would be easier to have it done in Edinburgh? :redface:

Yeah, I can understand that, it was one of the reasons that it took me about 3 years to go to the drs for my own issues when I lived at home, because I was worried of the effect it would have on my daddy. You're 18, 19 now, I would presume, so you would not have to necessarily tell them if you do not want to. You are their child though, so I would like to hope that you would have some support from them?
Original post by Airmed
A GP might diagnose you, but they will refer you to the mental health services so perhaps it would be easier to have it done in Edinburgh? :redface:

Yeah, I can understand that, it was one of the reasons that it took me about 3 years to go to the drs for my own issues when I lived at home, because I was worried of the effect it would have on my daddy. You're 18, 19 now, I would presume, so you would not have to necessarily tell them if you do not want to. You are their child though, so I would like to hope that you would have some support from them?


Yeah, I suppose it might just end up complicating the process. I just feel like if I don't have an official diagnosis, I might end up putting it off again once I come back! :lol:

I don't think I'd be able to keep something like that from my parents, but we'll see how it goes, I guess.
Reply 10
Original post by FangirlFreak
Yeah, I suppose it might just end up complicating the process. I just feel like if I don't have an official diagnosis, I might end up putting it off again once I come back! :lol:

I don't think I'd be able to keep something like that from my parents, but we'll see how it goes, I guess.


You could start the process now; register at a GP in Edinburgh and then make an appointment to see them in the new year. That way you will have it in your diary?
Original post by FangirlFreak
I'm just finishing up my first semester at the University of Edinburgh and I can honestly say that the time I've spent here has been the most unhappy I've ever been.

To be clear, the problem is not the course, but the change in lifestyle. I went from being very busy with school and work last year to entering my first year as a History student with only 8.5 contact hours a week. This naturally places more emphasis on extracurricular activities and cultivating an actual social life but as someone who has always been very socially anxious this change has been very difficult for me to adjust to.

Combined with the issue of moving to completely different place and going from talking to my friends and family every day to once or twice a week, the change in lifestyle has been even harder to deal with.

I just feel like everyone else is enjoying their life at university so much and I have never been more unhappy.

Does anyone have any words of wisdom from experiencing a similar situation?


Hello,

First of all, I can guarantee you aren't the only person suffering with social anxiety at university - the majority of students suffer from social anxiety and such. With me, 99.9% of my friends have it and so do I - so it hasn't been an easy ride for any of us but it's do-able.

It's good to hear that your course is not the problem - it is a big change when you go from a busy lifestyle to one that isn't as hectic - just make sure you put in time yourself for work so it boosts the time you spend on work in a week. Then, like you said, there are other activities and social events you can take part in - university SU's usually run events for students with social anxiety and what not - it's usually a really chill atmosphere and just a chance to meet people. I know it isn't easy and all I can say is, it's about pushing yourself or making a friend off your course or in halls that you can go with for support.

If it's bothering you that much, why don't you talk to your family and friends everyday? I call my mum everyday and have done ever since I got to university and I'm in Third Year. Just because you've moved away doesn't mean you can't talk to them everyday. If it makes you feel better, do it!

Don't compare your experiences to anybody else's - it'll bring you down more than you can imagine and hinders your ability to make progress on improving your own experience.

I'd suggest just push yourself little by little. Talk to someone in your halls. Then someone on your course. Then see if they want to grab a drink or something to eat and build it from there. You've got plenty of time to make friends - don't panic or rush yourself!

:smile:
Original post by shawn_o1
You'll have to start somewhere. For many graduates getting a job is more about who you know than what qualifications you have, at least you have another 2-3 years to develop that network before finding out how tough it is to get by without a network


Can you elaborate on how knowing people will get you a job?

I don't understand how knowing people on the same course will get me a job?
Original post by khanpatel321
Can you elaborate on how knowing people will get you a job?

I don't understand how knowing people on the same course will get me a job?


That's typically how it is. Employers are more likely to punt on people they know. So getting to know people (especially those with business ideas ) and letting them know what you're capable of is the way to get employed

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