dislike my sister

Hi

I feel really down today so I was just wondering if anyone else has a nasty sister and how they deal with her.

My sister is 10 years elder then me and she has basically helped my mom raise me up. I do remember how she is used to buy me toys and look after me when mom was away but I also remember how she used to beat the hell out of me on the littlest mistakes. Mom sometimes used to take her side if I talked back as I belong from an Indian family and RESPECT is taken extremely seriously. No one is allowed to talk back to their elders.

No joke my sister is a right nasty piece of work and it is not just me who says it.
My entire family knows it.
We did get along at one point... this is when she was going to get married. Few months back she came back to live with us as her husband has gone to America for business (2 years).
She refuses to do any housework and is always nasty to me. Since last few days I have been answering back because I have had enough of her! The reason I answered her back was because she blamed me that I was backbiting about her with my mom when in reality my mom was moaning to me about her. I clearly said to my mom that "I do not want to talk about this". Then I came upstairs and all I hear is my sister shouting at me! This was my breaking point and I told her that I do not need her and she should shut her mouth. This is the first time I have done that.
Just because I am younger then her does it mean that I should be allowed to take all the grief off her without saying a word?
She makes me feel so uncomfortable in my own house! Hate is too much of a strong word but I really do dislike her and just wish that she goes away.

Does anyone else suffer from this kind of problem? What do you do? What shall I do to make my life easier?

Reply 1

Eubacterium

13

Your family should chuck her out. She has no right to treat you this way because you're younger. It's not even her house anymore, she an adult and married. She now a guest and should be grateful to be able to stay there. I think you should talk with your mum about this because it sounds like your mum had enough too. Maybe it might lead to your parents having a word with her or her even leaving.

Reply 2

clyn

1

Have you thought about how she must feel? She's a married woman back living at home, the dynamics have shifted and her little sibling is growing up, probably reminding her of how old she is and opportunities she may have missed out on.
By no means am I suggesting that you're not right in feeling annoyed and uncomfortable -it must be awkward for you as well.
Thing is, she's your sister and you love her, right? My brother can be annoying too and there's something about siblings that gives them the ability to annoy you in a way no-one else can! But there's nothing you can do about it. This makes is particularly difficult. She'll be feeling worse than you, and is probably just doin this to vent her own anger...again, there's something about family which makes one resort back to childhood patterns. Have you tried talking to her? You'll best know how to communicate with her and hopefully you'll be able to work it out.
Good luck. :smile:

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

OP

My mom and my sister dont talk anymore which is another problem. My mom always comes back to me to moan about how she does not even wash a single plate . I do understand where mom is coming from because it will be nice to get some help but I really do not like getting involved! I stay quiet and do my share of the work. Also, I have told my mom on numerous occassions that "please lets talk about something else".

Chucking my sister out is out of question because she is still my dad's "little princess". My dad has chosen to ignore the situation until her husband comes back so I guess she will be here for next 2 years!

Reply 4

clyn

1

Why is she sulking? Is there something wrong?

btw, I know you didn't *say* sulking but she sounds very petulant right now.

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

OP

clyn

Why is she sulking? Is there something wrong?

btw, I know you didn't *say* sulking but she sounds very petulant right now.

She has all reasons to! My mom spent her life savings on my sisters wedding which was around £25,000 in the hope that after that her daughter will realise how much she loves her and will stop being nasty. After her marriage she has become proper evil. I just cant explain the thing she says.

My mom suffers from arthritis and my sister literally does not even wash her own plate. Just eats her food, watches tele and goes into her room. I try to help her alot but as I study and work it gets very difficult for me too. I do understand where my mom comes from.

Reply 6

sonya_p

1

It must be really hard for you.
Try to convince your dad to talk to her.

Reply 7

Scipio

13

What ages are you two?

Reply 8

username47781

20

She is clearly an unhappy person, there's no need for her to treat you like crap. Seems now your Mother though has realised just how mean she is not to mention lazy. I would have said the same thing to her if I were treated like that.

Reply 9

Anonymous #2

Yep, I get bullied by my YOUNGER sister!

Reply 10

simple_things

usually a big part of the reason for respect of your elders is so you can earn their respect. your sister clearly isn't respecting you. sounds like she's not respecting anyone infact. it sounds like your mum has lots of problems and is getting it just as much as you, but in a different way.
try getting your dad, mum and yourself into a talk without her before talking to her and addressing her as a group if you can if you do

Reply 11

Bluth.

16

It must be very hard for you being stuck in the middle of a family argument. I think you are doing the right thing by trying to change the subject when they are moaning about each other. I really hope this gets sorted out for you.

Katie

Reply 12

clyn

1

Anonymous

She has all reasons to! My mom spent her life savings on my sisters wedding which was around £25,000 in the hope that after that her daughter will realise how much she loves her and will stop being nasty. After her marriage she has become proper evil. I just cant explain the thing she says.

My mom suffers from arthritis and my sister literally does not even wash her own plate. Just eats her food, watches tele and goes into her room. I try to help her alot but as I study and work it gets very difficult for me too. I do understand where my mom comes from.

Oh no no no, I meant why was your sister sulking, not your mum!

Reply 13

FCabinet34x72

1

Anonymous

Yep, I get bullied by my YOUNGER sister!

Does she get on better with your mum better than you do or not!!?

Reply 14

upagumtree

12

Is she only staying with you for the 2 years that her husband is away?If so then look forward to the day she leaves and just remember that its temporary.I also agree that she is a guest in your house now and she should not be chucking her weight around.
Now,I know you are from an Indian family that believe respect for the elders is important but I really believe you should punch her :wink:

Reply 15

clyn

1

upagumtree

Now,I know you are from an Indian family that believe respect for the elders is important but I really believe you should punch her :wink:

*edit* wrong smiley :doh:

Reply 16

Murali

Iam indian and i kinda know what your getting at. to be honest if she wants you to respect her etc (which is prolly what she tried to gain from you when your were younger) she can go about it in other ways apart from acting like she is.
All you can do is talk to her and tell her to stop acting so stuck up, and backing from your mum will help as well.
The way i look at it, when my mum and dad arent here, its my sister whose the only real family i have left in the world. As sad as it sounds :frown:

its the truth.

Reply 17

voleman

Your sister sounds a right nasty piece of work. If she wants to be respected then she should earn your respect. She doesn't have an automatic right to it.

dislike my sister

Related discussions

Articles for you