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How long did it take for you to get over your last most serious relationship?

I'm just wondering because it's been 2 months and my ex is still on my mind every single day, I feel so pathetic.

He broke up with me because his parents disapprove of our relationship and that he can never see himself converting to marry me in the future (I'm Muslim). I wish we broke up because of any other reason, like he cheated on me, or I cheated on him, or simply because we fell out of love with each other. At least then it would be easier. We broke up while we were still so in love with each other, so I guess that's why it's so difficult to move on. He only broke up with me because he's a man of principles - he will never go against his family and religion. Sometimes we find each other and talk like we used to when we were together, like it's the most natural thing in the world. It's so hard to keep our distance from each other, and yet we both know we love each other so much.

We always said that if we're meant for each other, then we will end up together in the future. Then this distance will just be a 'long break from each other.'

I may sound naive. We're both young, but I believe he is the guy for me. But then I think, does being young automatically make you incapable of knowing what true love is?

I'm so scared of moving on, what if I never feel this intense for anyone else ever again? We both go to the same university and have mutual friends, so it will be super difficult to avoid each other.

I don't know what to do.

Sorry for the rant. Thanks for reading.

(Anon because I have friends who go on here.)

Reply 1

soar

I know that must be hard, and your not alone, my last relationship before this one took alot of time to heal. He really hurt me and, eventhough yours is worse (which I am deeply sorry for) it took me many months to fully recover from the ordeal and finally get him out of my head. Even now there are brief intervals when he comes back into my head, but I'm in love with my new boyfriend and have been for a year now. Its more about I hate you when i think of him or something bad anyway.

My best friend, a lad, broke up with his girlfriend about 4 months ago. They still loved each other and broke up because of unforseen circumstances. They stayed friends,yet this isn't going to well for them. They still love each other, and as my friend said, he will; always love her, but life goes on. He has a new girlfriend, and loves her so; Eventhough he still loves his old one.

I can't get my head round it all, but apparentley it makes sense to him!

if you need me for tell you anything else, as i'm afriad I'm about to be kicked of the pc...

PM me and you can talk your problems through with me, I've had my fair share and I've shared my own.

Sorry it so short and heartless, I feel for you I really do.

Just PM and I'll help you out as best as I can!

xxxx

Reply 2

soar

oh and its not pathetic, don't tear yourself up about it!

xx

Reply 3

WokSz

17

Anonymous

I may sound naive. We're both young, but I believe he is the guy for me. But then I think, does being young automatically make you incapable of knowing what true love is? (Anon because I have friends who go on here.)

Are you naive? NO! Just because someone is young doesn't mean that. However, you can't blame people who think this because at this age many youngsters say they know what love means. But the moment someone else comes into their lives, they forget the other person.

Reply 4

Wild Thing

11

10 hours? =S

but my best male friend needed about 9 months to get over his ex, and he'd cry about it every single day and talk about her for about 2 hours a day =/

Reply 5

ciara

13

I'm still not over my last serious relationship, and we broke up almost a year ago. Don't do what I did, which is to get into another relationship too soon (it lasted 7 months but it was such a stupid thing for me to do :frown:

). I think I'm starting to get over things now, and seeing his faults more, but it definitely takes a lot of time.

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

OP

Thanks for your responses, it helps.

I just feel so helpless about the whole thing. I didn't even feel like this when my relationship with the guy before him ended.

He says it's difficult for him, too. Why does he have to affect me so much!? Argh!!

Reply 7

Kimbolina

I'm still getting over my 1.1 year relationship, but hey it only ended last night! :redface:

Reply 8

ciara

13

Anonymous

Thanks for your responses, it helps.

I just feel so helpless about the whole thing. I didn't even feel like this when my relationship with the guy before him ended.

He says it's difficult for him, too. Why does he have to affect me so much!? Argh!!

I guess because as you said, there was nothing wrong with your relationship really, it ended because of circumstance. My last relationship because when we went to uni it became long distance and because we found it very difficult to be happy when we barely saw each other. Our relationship was perfect before, we never argued, and we did love each other a lot, but not enough to make it work it seems. It's the same with you I guess, your love isn't enough for it to work out. And also we said the same as you, that if we're that good together we'll eventually be together...I think in a lot of ways that makes it harder to move on, because he's always in the back of your mind and you're thinking "maybe...", but the thought can also be quite comforting.
I think the best way is to understand that you can't be together in the foreseeable future, and rather than to block him out of your mind to just accept this fact (which in itself will take months). Make sure your behaviour towards him reflects this fact. If you manage that, then distract yourself to the extent that you don't have time to think about him anymore. Hopefully by the time you are undistracted you will have moved on enough for it not to hurt.
There's no easy way really...but good luck!

Reply 9

coolershaka

I never really got over mine. Although we haven't spoken in years, I still think about her a lot.

Reply 10

Anonymous #2

My longest relationship has been 4 months but the most serious one lasted only a month and i really did love him, we broke up about 5 months ago and i still like him and think about him from time to time so i guess i'm not entirely over him but i'm not depressed/moping anymore. However 've been very close to and loved someone for about 5/6 years and we have just agreed not to talk again/see eachother for many reasons and i'm finding that very difficult.. think it will take maybe a year or so to get over them as they are my life.

Reply 11

bunthulhu

14

My last was 2 years, ended in December 06, and I'm still not over it. ;dry;

Reply 12

randdom

20

My last relationship of 4 and a half years ended 3 weeks ago and I was pretty much over him when it ended, the break up was a long time coming and I had realised that I morned the end of the relationship before we broke up. My first relationship of two years took me a long time to get over. It really depends on the person and the relationship.

Reply 13

Carreh

2

Hmm, about a year getting over a 3.5 year relationship...

Reply 14

Anonymous #1

OP

Is cutting off contact really the right thing to do? My friends all tell me the same thing..but it's so difficult :frown:

Reply 15

Goodkat

Just split with my gf quite recently, didn't take me any getting over at all. I don't make emotional attachments easily at all, and I finished it because that was what I wanted to do. So no time :s-smilie:

.

Reply 16

ClareR

Argh reading this thread has made me feel awful.

i love my boyfriend to pieces but ive been a total idiot and put our relationship at risk.
Now im just thinking about how ridiculously stupid ive been to mess up the best thing thats ever happened to me.

Dont know what to do with myself

Reply 17

notsoperfect

1

it's taken me a good six or seven months to get to the stage where i feel happy again on my own after the breakup of my first serious relationship (six months together). i'm still not totally over it, but i am "normal" again and i would say "over it" - i just don't like to see or talk to him if i can help it.

don't beat yourself up. it really takes time.

Reply 18

Goodkat

ClareR

Argh reading this thread has made me feel awful.

i love my boyfriend to pieces but ive been a total idiot and put our relationship at risk.
Now im just thinking about how ridiculously stupid ive been to mess up the best thing thats ever happened to me.

Dont know what to do with myself

Erm, make it up with him?

Judging by your profile pic, it probably won't be that hard :wink:

.

Reply 19

ClareR

trust me im trying :'(

How long did it take for you to get over your last most serious relationship?

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