Worried about dad

I don't live with my dad but I visit him fairly frequently. I love him a lot. He has mild bipolar disorder but I've grown up with it and I can deal with it, the problem is my stepmum has it too but much worst. She's aggressive and she has hit him before. Most people would leave at this point but my dad is terrified of being alone and unloved. I live two hours away and he has few friends. Today he was crying in the car about not knowing what to do and I felt so helpless that all I can do is pat him and pretend I'm ok when I'm not. I'm worried about his own mental state as it is deteriorating quite rapidly :frown:

I don't know what to do, I'm only 17 so I doubt there is anything...

Reply 1

orbelina

Do you have any other family members or any friends of the family living in the same area who can check up on your dad? I know this must be a really hard situation for you to deal with on your own, but don't be too hard on yourself because as you say, there is only so much you can do. I suppose just try to reassure him that you love him and wont leave him alone.
You could try and contact the bipolar organisation who might be able to give you some advice http://mdf.org.uk/?o=56851
I hope things work out x

Reply 2

randomgirl

14

Poor you. And your poor dad. It sounds like such a horrible situation to be in.

Make sure your dad knows that you are there for him to talk to/be a shoulder to cry on. Make sure he knows that he doesn't deserve to be treated like that but that you will still be there even if he continues to stay with this woman. Make sure he knows that what she is doing is wrong and that he is loved.

As orbelina said, do you have anybody else e.g. aunts/uncles etc, who can check up on him and make sure he is safe?

Hope things get better for you and your dad :smile:

Reply 3

upagumtree

12

I personally dont think two bipolar people being in a realtionship is a good idea.It means your dad is constantly in a negative environment,however I understand you dont want to force him to leave her because he doesn't want to be alone.I'm afraid all you can do is leave him to decide what to do on his own.As the above poster said, there is really only so much you can do.
;console;

Reply 4

I_am_the_mob

OP

1

Thanks, well I have an Aunty who lives close, she is my dad's only close relative. She does check on him but my stepmum has alienated her. My aunty is very protective of me and she doesn't like how my dad just lets my stepmum treat me badly. My dad knows I'm there for him but he feels guilty talking about all that stuff with a 17 year old. I do point out that he has to talk to someone and I don't mind

Reply 5

Becca <3.

1

I_am_the_mob

Thanks, well I have an Aunty who lives close, she is my dad's only close relative. She does check on him but my stepmum has alienated her. My aunty is very protective of me and she doesn't like how my dad just lets my stepmum treat me badly. My dad knows I'm there for him but he feels guilty talking about all that stuff with a 17 year old. I do point out that he has to talk to someone and I don't mind

Still though, it's a bit bad for you really Love. Subconciously, it's too much pressure, which will eventually catch up on you, and spill out in some way you unfortunately cannot foresee.

Are they [especially the stepmum] on any medication? Should/could they be? Saying that though, my medical knowledge is next to none, so I don't really know what I'm talking about in that area..

Maybe you could contact a clinic of some sort? See if they can get a weekly carer out to them, so then it's professional checking-up-on, rather than somebody who could be emotionally alientated.

I really hope things get better for you. All the best :smile:

Becca <3.

Reply 6

I_am_the_mob

OP

1

I can't exactly get a carer. Neither of them want to admit there's anything wrong, which is often part of the illness. They can handle themselves mostly, although my stepmum has spent the last four months off work due to depression. It does affect me quite badly but I get to go home, my dad doesn't get to escape. His only close friend was denied him by my stepmum because he was my maternal uncle. My stepmum has severe paranoia and hates anything to do with my mother, including me

Worried about dad

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