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My uni friendships are superficial

I'm in first year and I have a few friends on the course only and they all try use me for my work, I gave them bits and pieces in the beginning but now I don't give them anything. It's not just the males its a girl aswell, I find it really funny when she sends me a message like so: "Hi mate I was wondering if you had the answer to this" shes all pally when she wants something off me but outside of uni work shes cold and doesn't want to know if you try to organize a social event like going out to dinner with a few people on the course or whatever (ps not looking for a relationship with this girl)

I guess I need to make friends with people who are not on my course who can't use me, I don't drink for religious purposes but everyone I meet at uni just wants to drink and party and I'm not desperate enough to indulge in that lifestyle so I can make a few mates. I am really stuck between a rock and a hard place

Reply 1

Paralove

Are you a member of any societies or sports teams, or are there any you'd like to join? They're good ways of meeting people with similar interests.

Reply 2

999tigger

Original post by Miser101

They arent friends.
Its your task to find real ones, who have similar interests to you. Plenty of people dont drink. Try and get different ones not based on religion.

Be prepare to ditch thse people by saying you havent done the work, ignoring requests or youve decided its in her interest to do it herself so she does well in her exams. By supplying the work in the first place you have helped the situation along.

Reply 3

starmuneer

Original post by Miser101

hi bro
your not just the only one so dont worry too much
we dont drink and party we please the RAB so i guess our reward will be immense . stick to your goals bro .btw which uni and where are you ?

Reply 4

Miser101

Original post by Paralove

Are you a member of any societies or sports teams, or are there any you'd like to join? They're good ways of meeting people with similar interests.

Yeah I guess I could join a society and or sports team, will look into that.

Reply 5

Paralove

Original post by Miser101

Yeah I guess I could join a society and or sports team, will look into that.

It can be hard otherwise to meet people outside of your subject. Most of my friends at uni don't do my subject but I think that's more down to having a collegiate system than anything else, and I know it'd be more difficult if I was at a uni without something like that. I've met a lot of different people through other things I've gotten involved in though which has been good too.

Reply 6

Miser101

Original post by 999tigger

Yeah will do that, I have a big lab portfolio to hand in for Jan which is complete and when it was checked by one of the tutors said its easy 80%+ not going to give them anything. I helped one of them so much for aswell we had interviews for a big 50 week placement in the hospital with hospital chiefs at the beginning of the year and one of them asked me for help so I helped him out and he came over to my apartment I sat him down told him to start making notes and I asked him all the standard interview questions you would get asked in a NHS/healthcare interview and I basically gave him amazing answers and he smashed his interview and secured a placement

Reply 7

Miser101

Original post by starmuneer

hi bro
your not just the only one so dont worry too much
we dont drink and party we please the RAB so i guess our reward will be immense . stick to your goals bro .btw which uni and where are you ?

Most definite, I'm in Newcastle moved away for Uni originally from the Greater Manchester

Reply 8

kkboyk

Original post by Miser101

Whenever someone asks for answer, just give out a flat out "NO!", or just simply ignore the message until they get the hint. It happened to me as well, but I always say no, except for a few who I know are truly having difficulty and would also help me in return.

Have you joined your religious society? I'd recommend joining other societies as well (there are MANY people who don't drink at uni).

Reply 9

Miser101

Original post by kkboyk

I haven't joined the religious society, only society I am part of is the applied sciences society who just go out boozing

Reply 10

kkboyk

Original post by Miser101

I haven't joined the religious society, only society I am part of is the applied sciences society who just go out boozing

Any other? I don't go out drinking with the societies I'm part of, but still interact a lot with them.

Reply 11

Miser101

Original post by kkboyk

Any other? I don't go out drinking with the societies I'm part of, but still interact a lot with them.

Not any others I am into most outdoor sports, should join them tbh

Reply 12

kkboyk

Original post by Miser101

Not any others I am into most outdoor sports, should join them tbh

At my uni, the outdoor club is probably one of the few that doesn't really have that many drinking socials. It's mostly them going out on an adventure almost every week, it seems fun.