what shall i do? :(

I had a miscarriage a few weeks ago, and even though the pregnancy wasn't planned it's really upset me, and I'm not really coping with it too well. I haven't told anyone except my boyfriend, who has been so supportive, but we can't tell anyone else cos we're only young (18) etc. It's hard being round kids right now, I keep thinking what might have been etc, but its my bf's aunt's baby's christening next week, and my bfs just asked me to go with him.

I want to be there with him because he's been prettuy upset by it too and it might be hard for him, but I really don't think i'll be able to cope. His family will think I'm really antisocial if I don't go, but putting on a happy act all day just seems like it's going to be impossible, especially as no one knows.

I don't know why I'm posting this, I just need some advice on what to do or how to deal with it next week. Thanks for any replies. :frown:

Reply 1

emzay

First of all, I just want to say I'm sorry to hear about what happened to you. This is a hard one. I think you should try and go, because as hard as it is you're going to have to cope with being around young children in the future, so going to a Christening might be a good thing to do. However, since the miscarriage was so recent, it still might be too soon. It depends on how you feel. If I was you, I would agree to go, and try to go, but if you really can't then just say you're ill the day of the Christening, as then your boyfriends family won't think you're anti-social. I'm not really sure what advice I'm trying to give you here, but I just wanted to try and help you. Maybe you should go to councelling, or phone a helpline to talk to someone, as talking to people is supposed to be the best thing to do. I can understand how you don't want to talk to people about it, so maybe a helpline would be best. Good luck :smile:

Reply 2

Anonymous #2

i am in the exact same situation as you. miscarried a few weeks ago, havnt told anyone else other than my partner, we are both 19. i know how hard it is to be around children but what helped me was to not avoid children, i was devastated by losing my own child but by biting the bullet and trying to get back to normal by not avoiding situations with babies i think it really helped me. it still tears me apart, i still cry for the lost child but i know im getting better. talking to my partner about how we both feel about it really helps too, do you do that with your boyfriend? if you really dont think you'll be able to face the christening then fair enough hun, could you not go for a while, maybe for the party bit afterwards? i hope you feel better soon, i know how hard it is but chin up :smile:

Reply 3

Wild Thing

Im really really sorry for your loss OP. I know my mum's friend had a miscarriage two years ago and was really affected by it, took her some time to get over it. It's really hard but about 7 months later, she was pregnant again and now she has a beautiful baby girl :smile:

Just think, perhaps in a small perverted way it was better as you were too young?? YOu will have plenty of chances to get another baby, whenever you will try for it and Im sure this time it will be ok :smile:

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what shall i do? :(

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