Not sure I want to live chosen group of flatmates next year

Hi, so I'm currently living in campus accommodation (1st year) with a fairly large group that I get on well with in general.

We've already sorted groups for accommodation, I'll be living with a few other males, and I'm male myself. I've already signed the contract and put down deposit etc.

Basically I did feel fine about it, but I'm not sure anymore that I get on with them that well. They're nice enough and I know they don't make me, but I get the sense that they like each other/get on better with each other than they do with me. For example when together they will sometime not acknowledge what i say or ignore me.

I know they don't do it on purpose or to be mean, as I say they are decent, but I guess I'm the odd one out a bit, as I'm a little less outgoing and confident than they are. Almost like they don't respect me as much (guess this sounds stupid).

Essentially I'm just not that close to them, especially compared to my old friends from college (who I miss a lot), they just don't get me as much. I feel like I could be dropped and they wouldn't honestly care that much. I also think I would prefer to live in a mixed flat rather than all males, as it is now at my uni accommodation.

So I'm not really sure what I can or should do. Should I just suck it up and live with them for a year, and try get different accommodation for 3rd and 4th year? Is it worth trying to find something else, and they could get someone to replace me in their house?

Thanks all, and sorry for the really long post.

Reply 1

Tiger Rag

I think you need to sit down and talk to them about how you feel before thinking about finding a replacement / someone else to live with.

Reply 2

999tigger

What are your alternatives? You have time next term to find others and if you do, then you can find a replacement in good time if need be.

Reply 3

doodle_333

Well if you really don't want to live with them then tell them asap as they're more likely to find a replacement tenant from someone they know than a perfect stranger (and more likely to agree to it).You will run the risk that you tell them you don't want to live with them, cause problems and tension and then end up forced to live with them anyway when they don't fill your room.

A few things to think about:
1. you're never going to feel as close and connected with someone you've known for 3 months as with your old college friends who you knew much longer, it's easy to compare the two but you won't really remember the awkward phase of your old friendships
2. if they're good flatmates e.g. clean + not too loud then there's every chance you end up with someone you really hate living with
3. you may ruin the friendship completely if you choose to leave