Parents & Uni

To cut a long story short, my mum went away for 2 weeks leaving me on my own. I had a short of mini-party when she was gone (as you do), i pretty much covered up my tracks but left the oven and sink a bit dirty after some serious pizza cooking. I would of got away with it if I hadnt forgot to chuck away a receipt for several crates of lager! :mad:

Anyway nothing got broken etc etc but my mum is still angry at me understandably. But now shes going on at me how I'm going to fail uni and drop out after a few months and how it will be a waste of money for her. Its almost like she wants me to fail to save money. She then goes on to say how everyone will hate me and the accomodation people will chuck me out because I'm always messy (like no other student is messy!) and leave the kitchen in state. I actually don't understand her thinking sometimes. Does anybody else have the same/similar problems? Also how should I deal with it because she's threatening to throw me out of the house (in the whole 2 1/2 weeks before uni!)? I know basically I've just gotta get through it before uni without much event but she winds me up so much!

Reply 1

username47781

I don't understand her thinking either, maybe she's just worried about you and wants you to do well. At the same time though you got to have a bit of a social life outside your learning.

Reply 2

cpj1987

I can understand your Mum's reasoning about keeping the place tidy - you will need to keep things clean in order to get along with your flatmates at university.
However, don't worry about her comments about you failing. My Mum was the same before I began uni, but has since admitted she's very proud of me and is glad I'm doing so well - it's just a tactic to get you to think about what you've done.
Just be careful for the next few weeks, get on her good side before you leave, and you'll be fine.

Reply 3

mc_hamster

Just learn to clear up after yourself. When my sister lived at home she used to always leave the kitchen in a state and it used to annoy the hell out of me. It's not that hard to tidy as you go.

Reply 4

Michelin Man

I know I shouldn't of been so messy but I was in a bit of a panic doing other cleaning jobs around the house. It was basically only the kitchen surface, the oven and the sink but at the end of the day a few crumbs in the kitchen isn't gunna make me fail uni. I'm quite smart (I underachieved at a level though got ABB when I should've got at least AAB), I can do most household tasks basically everything except cook well but enough to feed me and she's saying I'm not prepared for uni. The thing is she doesn't let me make my mistakes to learn from. Thats what annoys me. She just shouts at me and thinks I will learn that way. I know I'm not going to be perfect but she should accept that as well.

Reply 5

dh00001

maybe she isnt reacting well to the fact that youre leaving. she doesnt know how to deal with it and so snaps. just a suggestion :dontknow:

dont let her wind you up. lay low and make sure you keep everything spick and span.

Reply 6

Dinoceros

My parents are doing the same. I live quite close to the Uni Im going to, but wanted to move out anyway. My brothers been moved out a year, and weve had a pretty rough year since (two unrelated matters though! :biggrin:

), and now that im about to move out, my parents keep going on about how crappy Uni accommodation will be, and how ill want to come home every weekend, and hinting about how "maybe ill want to live at home in the second year."
But its very transparent, and I think in your case, it's a matter of her finally seeing you as independent, and thinking "He's not my little boy anymore :frown:

"

Sounds like it anyway. You just have to hold your tongue, and your sanity, for another couple of weeks. :smile:

Good luck!

Reply 7

yellow96

"They're all going to laugh at you!"

Reply 8

prettygreeneyes99

Wow, over reaction!! Just give her a few days to calm down and suck up to her a bit :p:

Reply 9

Michelin Man

LOL, cheers guys I never thought of it that way how she doesn't like the fact I'm leaving home (I'm the eldest child). I know I won't drop out because I'm determined enough not to fail and have never totally failed exams despite everything she's said. I will keep quiet the next 2 1/2 weeks but at the same time I'm not going to sacrifice my social life just to please her which she seems to want for some reason anyway thanks again. :biggrin:

Reply 10

Wez

It just sounds like she's trying to stamp down her authority as she realises that in a few weeks you'll have temporarily flown the nest (boomeranged it?) and she can no longer exert the same level of control over her child. I’d just try to ignore it and get on with life. After a few weeks she should be back to normal. :smile:

Reply 11

NothernPompey

tell her to swivel, its your life do what you want with it, at university she cant tell ya how to live