girlfriends/boyfriends and uni......

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Lee86
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is there anyone who is in a relationship and you are goin to different unis and if so what do you plan to do about the relationship your in?
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SamTheMan
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(Original post by Lee86)
is there anyone who is in a relationship and you are goin to different unis and if so what do you plan to do about the relationship your in?
I think you have to be realistic but it's difficult. It's the same when students go off on an exchange year. I remember seeing all these female students who were trying to show they had great moral values and were keeping their boyfriend who was still back home, that the boyfriend would be visiting. After only a few months, all these girls except one had cheated on their boyfriend. Some decided to tell the boyfriend, some decided to keep their ten or so "incidents" a secret.
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Lydiamonds
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Well Im going to Durham while my boyf is ging to Hull. We're gunna try and stick together, as we both agree theres no point in not trying at least. We both do not want to cheat but have decided if we do we must tell the other. If he did cheat I could understand it, we are young still and it wd probably be lust and nuthing more.
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Juno
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My sister is at uni in Nottingham and her bf is at Leeds. They originally decided to split up as they didn't want a long distance relationship, but they got back together and have lasted 2 years so far
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rednirt
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I'm at uni, and my boyfriend isn't, but we see each other almost every weekend. Its good we have our space, and neither of us is looking for anyone else, so we don't have to worry constantly about what the other is doing for fear of them cheating. We've been together for over a year, getting together just before I went away.

Sometimes its tough, when you just wanna see him, but we talk every day on the phone, and realy make the most of our time when we do see each other.

I thi our relationship is quite special though, as some people who go to uni seem to feel pressured into having lots of "experiences" etc, but to be honest I couldn't care less.

If you're not sure it will last, try it for a month or so, but if you feel like you want more, call it a day, there's no point hurting yourself.
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Lydiamonds
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rednirt I'm at uni, and my boyfriend isn't, but we see each other almost every weekend. Its good we have our space, and neither of us is looking for anyone else, so we don't have to worry constantly about what the other is doing for fear of them cheating. We've been together for over a year, getting together just before I went away.

Sometimes its tough, when you just wanna see him, but we talk every day on the phone, and realy make the most of our time when we do see each other.

I thi our relationship is quite special though, as some people who go to uni seem to feel pressured into having lots of "experiences" etc, but to be honest I couldn't care less.

If you're not sure it will last, try it for a month or so, but if you feel like you want more, call it a day, there's no point hurting yourself.
wonderfully said. I agree totally and wish u every luck!
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Flicker
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(Original post by Lee86)
is there anyone who is in a relationship and you are goin to different unis and if so what do you plan to do about the relationship your in?
last year my boyfriend was at uni in leicester and i was at home in essex. we ended up seeing each other on average every 2 weeks - sometimes longer, sometimes shorter. it worked out well and made us stronger, because we had to make an effort to talk about how we felt over the phone and everything. and it was extra good to see each other when we did! it's been great to have him home for the summer. next year i'm working on my gap year and hope to get up there most weekends - after that i will hopefully be in sussex. but we'll see how it goes. i haven't found it that hard at all, in fact i've enjoyed having my own space. and it's nice to get letters every once in a while too!
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faa
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Hey everyone, my gf is going to coventry, im staying down in kent (doing even more a levels, for those of you following my progress lol, if not i'll be at Cass anyway). Heres a message everyone should think about:

If they do cheat on you, they arent exactly worth worrying about!

Im probably going to be seeing her every other weekend, but we're fine with it. Though it did take me a little while to be reassured.
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happydinosaur
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well my boyfriend is going to oxford(hopefully because edinburgh is just too far away!) and i will be still at school on merseyside. Hopefully it will work out because we have been together for 3 years but if not then maybe that is best too. There is no point in my opinion just not trying because we have been through a lot already and all that just made us stronger. I doubt he would ever cheat on me..and i can't see myself risking our relationship for just anyone..

good luck to everyone else with thier relationships!
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Lee86
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thanks for every1's responses and nice too see most of them are possitive .. gives me alot to think bout .... i hope everyhting goes well for u all
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ickleangel
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my best friend is 2 years younger than her bf so he's been at uni for 2 yrs. they've had their rough patches but still going strong now! the most important thing is to give each other space to get to knw new people..so when you do see him again you miss him even more!! good luck!
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happydinosaur
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(Original post by ickleangel)
my best friend is 2 years younger than her bf so he's been at uni for 2 yrs. they've had their rough patches but still going strong now! the most important thing is to give each other space to get to knw new people..so when you do see him again you miss him even more!! good luck!
thanks
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ickle_katy
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went to uni after decididng to split up with my boyfriend, it was best in our situation but it is hard letting go...and a piece of advice, dont look to them for comfort when you miss them...it'll hurt you even more when they do turn round and say they've found someone new.

now i have a new boyfriend who's in uni with me and im in the same situation that i didnt want to be in the first place because im in wales and hes travvling around england "working" which means that he's spending this week playing golf in cornwall. but hes amazing and i know that in 4 weeks, i'll be back in exeter and get to see him loads!

so basically what im saying is you cant win! and dont think that having someone from your way going to your uni works - look at ollie...if things are meant to be they will work, if they dont, they arent meant to.

if you arnt ready to call a day on your relationship then dont. no one is going to blame you if 2 months down the road you cant cope and end it. at least you tried, and thats all that any of us can do.

good luck

love Katy ***
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Jessie
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Well I'm staying with mine. If we both get our grades, I'll be at Oxford and he'll be at Oxford Brookes. I think this is good, because we're at different unis so we can meet other people but still be about 15 mins away from each other. We'll probably need to make sure we dont see each other every day, especially to start with. I hope we manage it, but if we dont, at least we'll have tried.
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cis
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i studied in hk...and my bf goes into uni one yr earlier than i do.it hv been a really tough time when i had to struggle for my alevels while he does, but we manage to keep the relationship( u know hk is indeed a vy small place but we even don't bother to c each other for a month b4 the mocks and the alevlels....then now i decided to choose an uni at london and then he is startin yr 2 at hk....with the 2nd sem at UC in USA.....wt more can i say???
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Airport Fairy
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My boyfriend is a year older than me and has just done his first year at Warwick. When I went to visit him, it took about 2 1/2 hours to get there. It was really difficult, especially at first, because we weren't used to being apart, but we made it work for a whole year, only seeing each other about once a month in termtime. Now we're finally at home together, he wants to end it. Good luck, but bear in mind you can't always win.
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Jenna999
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I've been with my boyfriend for 20 months. In September, I'm off to Manchester and he's gonna be at home in Norfolk, but we're gonna try and see each other 3 out of every 4 weekends. I know it's going to be really really hard but we just don't feel ready to break up.

He's going to Derby uni in 2005, and although I'm not quite sure why, I think it will be easier to stay together this year when he's not at uni than next year when he is, even though Derby is 2 hrs closer to Manchester than Norfolk. I think I think that because when he's not at uni he wont be able to meet any new people so there's less of a chance of him finding another girl....
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Squishy
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One of my friends is going to Aberystwyth next year, and his girlfriend's going to Edinburgh. They seem pretty serious about keeping their relationship going though...I really hope they do stay together, but only time will tell.
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dave134
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To all those couples off to Uni I wish you the best of luck, but this very issue sparked some controversy at Durham last year.

An Officer of the student union, advised everybody to break off their relationships before becoming a student, in a post on the Durham Student Union message boards (he posted as an officer not using his personal login), as they almost never work out. There was a formal complaint against him (from an ex gf I may add), but the Officer was cleared of all wrongdoing, simply because what he stated was unfortunately all too true.

I do know of a few couples that have stayed together, but I know of many many more that have not. The saddest thing to see is when a good friend has been avoiding temptation all term and doing their absolute best to remain faithful, only to find their gf/bf jumped straight into bed with the first person they met.

It may very well work out for you, but people do change quite a bit at university. Many of you may have been going out since you were 16/17. If you stay together then you are looking at being 21/22 and have been in one relationship for 5 years. That is getting to the point when parents will be hinting about marriage!
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Jenna999
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(Original post by dave134)
To all those couples off to Uni I wish you the best of luck, but this very issue sparked some controversy at Durham last year.

An Officer of the student union, advised everybody to break off their relationships before becoming a student, in a post on the Durham Student Union message boards (he posted as an officer not using his personal login), as they almost never work out. There was a formal complaint against him (from an ex gf I may add), but the Officer was cleared of all wrongdoing, simply because what he stated was unfortunately all too true.

I do know of a few couples that have stayed together, but I know of many many more that have not. The saddest thing to see is when a good friend has been avoiding temptation all term and doing their absolute best to remain faithful, only to find their gf/bf jumped straight into bed with the first person they met.

It may very well work out for you, but people do change quite a bit at university. Many of you may have been going out since you were 16/17. If you stay together then you are looking at being 21/22 and have been in one relationship for 5 years. That is getting to the point when parents will be hinting about marriage!
Don't be so pessimistic, I know plenty of couples that have stayed together. There's no reason why it wouldn't work if you wanted it enough.
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