Should I Go For My Best Mates Ex?

heres the thing, my best mate and this girl was going out a few months ago but they were always on and off, they first went out bout a year ago and since before then, i have been madly in love with this girl. she is now single and they dont look promicing to be back together ever again, but should i make any moves on her? she has asked me to go cinema in a while and i dnt know wat to do? she used to fancy me and i think she still does, i truly love this girl. but i dont know wat my mates responce to this will be, will he be cool with it? or will i lose my best mate. i need to know wat to do, ide apprieciate some help, thanks

Reply 1

username47781

20

It is up to you, but although your best mate and the girl aren't together no more it is bound to be awkward at best.

Reply 2

Soundwave

If you value your friendship with your best mate, I'd say leave it. It's only gonna cause awkwardness.

Reply 3

8urtay

Well, it is going to create tension between you and your mate, but then again she is single and you have every right to 'make a move' if this is the case. If your mate makes a huge deal then he has his own issues which he needs to deal with. Whatever your mates reaction if you two get together try to be more tolerant with him - give him a while to start to cope with the situation and dont encourage his destructive behaviours.

Reply 4

prettygreeneyes99

9

Think its a pretty much no-go area with most people to be honest :smile:

Reply 5

orbelina

maybe tell your mate how you feel about this girl and see how he reacts. It would be a shame to just rush in and ask her out and lose your friendship because of it.

Reply 6

cutandpasteandtwisty

11

If you are prepared to lose your best mate then go for it! Otherwise forget it.

Reply 7

angel156

uh it would be better to date his sister

Reply 8

IrishMurt

2

Well, i've been in this situation me and this lad were friends in the same group, had a laugh but not "best" mates, he was going out with a girl we were both kinda interested in. Anyway after they split up, he noticed after a few months we were getting close and just said "If you wanna go for her, go ahead!" Which i thought was pretty good of him, Now me and him are best mates, Were even room-mates last year in college, drinking buddies all the way. But my relationship with the girl didn't last as long haha. so just say to him that if he feels it'd be too awkward, give it a few months maybe.

Reply 9

fuglyduckling

2

No - don't do it. Golden rule: bros before hos.

There are two types of mates - 'safe' mates, who look out for you and consider your position when it comes to things like this and 'selfish' mates, who put themselves first and do what they want without considering how you'll feel. What goes around comes around so don't be a d*ck to your best mate.

Reply 10

angel156

Well, i've been in this situation me and this lad were friends in the same group, had a laugh but not "best" mates, he was going out with a girl we were both kinda interested in. Anyway after they split up, he noticed after a few months we were getting close and just said "If you wanna go for her, go ahead!" Which i thought was pretty good of him, Now me and him are best mates, Were even room-mates last year in college, drinking buddies all the way. But my relationship with the girl didn't last as long haha. so just say to him that if he feels it'd be too awkward, give it a few months maybe.

^if your best friend is as understanding as the person described above then go for it.

Reply 11

angel156

fuglyduckling

No - don't do it. Golden rule: bros before hos.

There are two types of mates - 'safe' mates, who look out for you and consider your position when it comes to things like this and 'selfish' mates, who put themselves first and do what they want without considering how you'll feel. What goes around comes around so don't be a d*ck to your best mate.

Rules and social norms look good on paper, but aren't easy to follow in real life. :wink:

Reply 12

BlibBlob

Its a difficult situation OP. I'm now with one of my ex boyfriends best mates, and things were akward between them for a while. My boyfriend seems to think everything is ok between him and my ex, but speaking to my ex about 2 weeks ago, he still has a slight grudge against him!

Its up to you what you do op, but good luck all the same

Reply 13

paperclip

18

talk to your best friend
you may be suprised
if he truely values you he wouldnt mind

recently happened to me, my mate and ex are getting on well, i heard he might have a thing for her so i told him i dont mind if he does...

if you talk to him it'll show you respect his feelings, no harm in trying...