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Can't get bad schooldyas out of my head

Even though I've got plenty going for me, was never a nerd etc, for some reason I was too serious and sensitive at school, I didn't have a personality that commanded respect. I was kind of a victim and got humiliated in class a lot by having stuff poured on my head. I never did fight back, nothing I could do. As I say I have tons going for me, am attractive and intelliigent, like etc, but I can;t get rid of that paranoid victim like feeling from schoool, comes back to haunt me. I wonder what it is about me that people chose to single me out, maybe I had the guts to go my own way an didn;t suck up to anyone.

Reply 1

Anonymous #1

OP

excuse the typos

Reply 2

Angrybanana

11

You seem to respect yourself enough now to see that you are a worthwhile person, so you must have changed. Remind yourself that you aren't the same person as you were in school, and that you would stand up for yourself now. Loads of people get bullied, you shouldn't feel ashamed about it.

If you don't feel confident in a situation, don't worry because it can be faked. If you get good enough at faking it, it will become the real thing over time as people will respond to you in a respectful way which will help your self-esteem.

Check out TSR bullying society and you will see that it can happen to anyone.

Reply 3

yellow96

15

Don't worry, I wasn't bullied in comprehensive school but I still get a cold, trickling feeling of horror and disgust whenever it's mentioned. I think you're right about people singling you out because you tend to 'go your own way'. I suspect that this never really changes, but as you grow up you're likely to meet more people who 'go the same way' as you and aren't afraid to show it.

Reply 4

username47781

20

Not that many people liked school to tell you the truth.

Reply 5

spark911

I'd personally just talk to someone about it (a friend).

But you sound confident, there is no reason why you cant ignore it and carry on and replace old bad memories with good new ones!

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

OP

Thanks for the positive responses

Reply 7

Nally

10

I hated school as was picked on mercilessly for a whole variety of (ridiculous!) reasons but I just wanted to tell you that it does get better and it does get easier to put it behind you! I think it's true what someone was saying about going your own way and eventually falling in to synch with other people headed your way which is what I have done and in some respects I'm glad I had a tough time at school as it has made me appreciate the true friends I have and also made me realise I can get through anything.

Plus, I was recently contacted on facebook by the lad who bullied me most asking me to add him as a friend and I tell you, the feeling of sending back a message telling him in no uncertain terms that I wanted nothing to do with him due to the way he treated me was amazing!!!

Reply 8

deutschsweetie

8

Hey there I hated school too! My teachers hated me & vice versa.. i was determined & got through it all though :smile:

& here I am a uni student! :biggrin:

Reply 9

quelle

Yeah im in a pretty similar situation as u!
I forget about how i used to feel and then if i see someone from school or something reminds me of it i just get a horrible sick feeling.
It'll get better in time though im sure

Reply 10

xXMessedUpXx

15

hell school was the reason i suffer from depression, started self harming and OD at 16. well be bullied was.

countless times i've beaten myself up over the fact that had i stood up to ppl then i wouldnt be as messed up as i am now. but in a weird way all the crap, its shaped me as a person. i am not the same person i was, i am stronger, and i am determined not to let ANYONE make me feel that way ever again.

just remember that you are a good person, whatever happened in teh past sure it might have been bad, but its shaped you as a person, what doesn't kill us makes us stronger. if you let it get to you now, even all these years later the people who made your life hell have won. don't give them that satisfaction.

Reply 11

jh_1988_england

1

make something of your life....and then go back to one of the school reunions (say like 10years time)...with a nice job/wife....meanwhile the chavs who bullied you have nothing...then youl see who has the last laugh :biggrin:

Reply 12

jh_1988_england

1

or husband if your a girl..i just thought you were a boy for some reason :s...anywayz..good luck :smile:

Reply 13

Sithius

16

When I was bout 13 I had a ginger guy pick on me for like a year and a half. Then he realized he had no mates and ended up asking to work with me in science experiments. :smile:

Either way, just try and change your thinking patterns. I'm not a psychologist though so maybe you should see a councilor?

Reply 14

Dionysus

15

If your assessment as being attractive is correct, they were probably all just very jealous of you. 90% of people you met at school were probably asshats. In fact that applies to people in general. It's best to forget about them, all that matters is your opinion of yourself and the way that you are treated by your real friends.

Reply 15

Anonymous #2

If you are intelligent and attractive then why still put your focus on them.Concentrate on the people who love you for who you are. Besides they may have been jeolous. I was bullied in school for a very long time-yes it is hard, and I still get angry at them. But they have now changed and still come after me to be friends, and I don't bother. I have decided to forgive and forget now.

Reply 16

Anonymous #1

OP

Thanks everyone.

Reply 17

randomgirl

14

Try your best to forget about people who were mean to you. Be happy :biggrin:

you are probably living a far better life than those bullys! They could've picked on you through jealousy more than anything. Chin up and look to the future. At least you've learnt how you do not like to be treated and as such will not let yourself be victimised again in such a way. :smile:

Reply 18

AverageGuyOnTheStreet

9

Some good advice has already been given here. But I hope you feel better soon. What bullies don't realise is that their actions have a long lasting affect on their victims. I was bullied when I was 11 and I am still affected 9 years later. :hugs:

Reply 19

Anonymous #1

OP

randomgirl

Try your best to forget about people who were mean to you. Be happy :biggrin:

you are probably living a far better life than those bullys! They could've picked on you through jealousy more than anything. Chin up and look to the future. At least you've learnt how you do not like to be treated and as such will not let yourself be victimised again in such a way. :smile:

Well to be completely honest I have pretty much underachieved in career terms.
Considering the background I'm from, I haven't done much and it the prospects don't look spectacular at the moment, having daid that there's lots I'd like to do.

Can't get bad schooldyas out of my head

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