The Student Room Group

My unplessant night out experience

So on a Friday night I went for a night out in the Pryzm nightclub with my brother since we're close and we don't many friends. As we both arrived at club we both decided to split up in different rooms but we both had our phones so we could contact each other whenever we want.

I was on the dance floor minding my own business then some girl approached me then yelled "Oi pervert, why are you trying to make a move on my mate she's already with someonea" my face accusing me of something I never even did. I fired back yelling that "What?! I wasn't" then she yelled "Yes you were" then I continuously yelled again "I didn't" then some random guy a hold of me trying to calm me down so she walked away with her mates. I started sobbing slightly I said to some random guy "I didn't do anything" then he was "I know you didn't mate, I'll get you some water". All did was looked at her for a good second or two but her mate took it the wrong way.

I'm very shy towards talking to women and holding a conversation with them. I never had a relationship or never did anything intimate with a girl. Due to having high functioning autism I struggle to understand people's body language and facial expressions. So I can't tell if a girl finds me attractive or wants me to dance with them. All I ever wanted to do that night was just dance and try to have conversation with different people to increase my confidence since someone gave me advice about taking baby steps. I wasn't looking for a snog or sex like a lot of guys would. Sadly my confidence because of what happened.

I've seen those 'lads' who I assume slept with so many girls forcefully grabbing random girls on the waist and snogging them. How do they get with it? E.g. my former mate of me who's very good looking and always been popular with the ladies if he did all that he would've got away with it but if tried doing it I'd get slapped in the face, chucked out by the bouncers (possibly banned from the club) and possibly end up getting arrested for it. If you're not a good looking guy with the 'lad' behaviour it's a severe disadvantage. I think most girls at nightclub think I'm ugly every time I look at them they look at me back like "ew" or if they notice that I'm trying to approach them they just walk off. Most of the girls at nightclub mist think having an attitude problem makes them sexy are probably the same girls who hate being objectified but still fall for the f*ckboys who'd live their live through using women. Pryzm is the only nightclub I ever been to most so I'm not sure if other nightclubs have different kind of crowds like Pryzm is massive, clean, very high tech but the crowed there are the worst.

Feedback and advice from both male and female would appreciative or if you or someone you know been through a similar experience as me feel free to share it.
Hey. That really doesn't sound fun at all. But from my perspective I'd say nightclubs aren't the best place to be trying to have good conversation. Yep f*ckboys are always present at clubs and of course don't aspire to act like that because they have no respect for women at all.

My advice is perhaps figure out what you're looking for or what you want. Do you want a friendship or a proper relationship or something casual etc? Then once you've figured that out, you can perhaps find an appropriate setting to meet people. Because nightclubs are difficult to communicate in and yeh it's fun to dance and drink, but if you're looking for something serious, perhaps try speed dating or online dating or join a club. Don't know if any of that helps. Just remember that you shouldn't devalue yourself or feel bad about yourself because of what happened. It was clearly a huge misunderstanding and yes, it's upsetting to be falsely accused of something, but it doesn't comment on you as an actual person.
I wouldn't bother with clubs mate. Not the best environment to go meet women.

Take up some hobbies and such like. :smile:
You are taking it too seriously. Forget it and move on. the person who accused you will ahve forgotten it already. You sound overly sensitive.
Autism notwithstanding then if you say and know you didnt do anything, then you didnt do anything.

Dont foprget many people ar idiots and some of them will be drunk or worse.

If night clubs are what you like, then keep going, but they arent the only option.
You definitely don't want to aspire to be like the guys who just grab women without their permission. You keep doing you. You have to remember that people in nightclubs are often intoxicated, so don't take it too personally. What they did sounds wrong, but don't let it stop you from enjoying a night out in the future. Nightclubs aren't the best place to meet women. You can't talk to people properly, so it's just not a very good place for it. Maybe you could try a bar or a pub, because it would probably be easier there. Don't let one night hold you back :smile:
tbh Autism and Nightclubs is not a good fit. as the other posters suggested, concentrate on meeting ladies in less testosterone-filled environments.
Reply 6
Original post by the bear
tbh Autism and Nightclubs is not a good fit. as the other posters suggested, concentrate on meeting ladies in less testosterone-filled environments.


Segregation at it's finest, eh? :rolleyes:
Original post by Ncham
Segregation at it's finest, eh? :rolleyes:


clubs should arrange Autism nights, like cinemas do.
Reply 8
Original post by chelseadagg3r
You definitely don't want to aspire to be like the guys who just grab women without their permission. You keep doing you. You have to remember that people in nightclubs are often intoxicated, so don't take it too personally. What they did sounds wrong, but don't let it stop you from enjoying a night out in the future. Nightclubs aren't the best place to meet women. You can't talk to people properly, so it's just not a very good place for it. Maybe you could try a bar or a pub, because it would probably be easier there. Don't let one night hold you back :smile:


I have very low confidence so it could easily be shattered once I'm trying to gain it. What happened to me the other night did ruin the night out so I just stood in the corner wallowing in sadness. People can see I have a very innocent and vulnerable looking face so they used as advantage to bring me down. When I go nightclubs I'm usually just stand in the corner watching on the dance floor due to social anxiety.
Reply 9
Original post by the bear
tbh Autism and Nightclubs is not a good fit. as the other posters suggested, concentrate on meeting ladies in less testosterone-filled environments.


But it's not going stop a bunch of non autistic people coming in does it?
Original post by Anonymous
But it's not going stop a bunch of non autistic people coming in does it?


That doesnt make any sense.

If you go to places other than night clubs as suggested then you are less likely to meet sych loud and ignorant people as they wont be drunk and the environment will be different and more amenable.

If your complaint is that there are non autistic people (some of whom may not appreciate) or be difficult, then thats life. Your only alternative is to go to gatherings with purely autistics.

You need to go to places where you cna have a good time and develop your confidence, then you might be able to handle going to clubs.
Original post by 999tigger
That doesnt make any sense.

If you go to places other than night clubs as suggested then you are less likely to meet sych loud and ignorant people as they wont be drunk and the environment will be different and more amenable.

If your complaint is that there are non autistic people (some of whom may not appreciate) or be difficult, then thats life. Your only alternative is to go to gatherings with purely autistics.

You need to go to places where you cna have a good time and develop your confidence, then you might be able to handle going to clubs.


Now that's not what I meant.

I don't have a problem with being around non-autistic people. Someone suggested an autism night so I'd thought that would be only for people with autism.
This is the problem in clubs guess she was drunk, people do silly things when drunk, to be fair she was rather nasty and seemingly looking for trouble.
Original post by Anonymous
I have very low confidence so it could easily be shattered once I'm trying to gain it. What happened to me the other night did ruin the night out so I just stood in the corner wallowing in sadness. People can see I have a very innocent and vulnerable looking face so they used as advantage to bring me down. When I go nightclubs I'm usually just stand in the corner watching on the dance floor due to social anxiety.


You've said in a previous post that you want to start taking baby steps to improve your confidence but going to a nightclub is WAY more than a baby step in my opinion. They can be very overwhelming for somebody who is quite shy and lots of people will have been in similar situations to you because as others have said, lots of people there are drunk, idiots or f***boys. You wouldn't expect these kinds of people to spend their Friday night at a small, chilled-out social gathering so it's just about finding the right environment for you really.
For example, I would never try to meet a guy by going to club because I know I'd hate it there and also, if he's an extroverted party animal then we probably wouldn't make a good match anyway.
Reply 14
Original post by Anonymous
I have very low confidence so it could easily be shattered once I'm trying to gain it. What happened to me the other night did ruin the night out so I just stood in the corner wallowing in sadness. People can see I have a very innocent and vulnerable looking face so they used as advantage to bring me down. When I go nightclubs I'm usually just stand in the corner watching on the dance floor due to social anxiety.


Seriously? Why bother going then?
Original post by Rock Fan
This is the problem in clubs guess she was drunk, people do silly things when drunk, to be fair she was rather nasty and seemingly looking for trouble.


I don't care she was drunk or not. People shouldn't use their intoxication as an excuse.
Original post by Ciel.
Seriously? Why bother going then?


Just to experience. There's nothing wrong with being open to try things out besides ive been encourage my brother and I only go out like once every few months or something.
Original post by Anonymous
I don't care she was drunk or not. People shouldn't use their intoxication as an excuse.


Not saying it is an excuse but it really isn't but unfortunately people do behave differently when drunk and become more aggressive. But as I said there is no excuse for the behaviour.

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