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Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd
I feel very confused because on the one hand, I want to tell this Interim Provost a bit about the things that happened, but I'm so concerned over repercussions for the welfare tutor in question (even though she is no longer employed by Oxford at all)
I feel very confused because on the one hand, I want to tell this Interim Provost a bit about the things that happened, but I'm so concerned over repercussions for the welfare tutor in question (even though she is no longer employed by Oxford at all)
I can relate, as I spend a lot of time these days in peer support of those of us who've been traumatised/damaged by medical negligence. It is so easy to fall into the trap of rehearsing the painful details of the situation, and reinforcing the power of that narrative in your own mind, whilst not really advancing the situation for those who follow.
I wonder if you can remain 'distanced' enough just to just describe the kind of things that would help Worcester/the Uni avoid setting up future students for that kind of experience? Obviously, I know nothing of your circumstances, but - I dunno - maybe you can identify a couple of processes/procedures that could be changed?
But in any case, do what's best for you, even if that means doing nothing more.
Original post by OxFossil
I can relate, as I spend a lot of time these days in peer support of those of us who've been traumatised/damaged by medical negligence. It is so easy to fall into the trap of rehearsing the painful details of the situation, and reinforcing the power of that narrative in your own mind, whilst not really advancing the situation for those who follow.
I wonder if you can remain 'distanced' enough just to just describe the kind of things that would help Worcester/the Uni avoid setting up future students for that kind of experience? Obviously, I know nothing of your circumstances, but - I dunno - maybe you can identify a couple of processes/procedures that could be changed?
But in any case, do what's best for you, even if that means doing nothing more.
I wonder if you can remain 'distanced' enough just to just describe the kind of things that would help Worcester/the Uni avoid setting up future students for that kind of experience? Obviously, I know nothing of your circumstances, but - I dunno - maybe you can identify a couple of processes/procedures that could be changed?
But in any case, do what's best for you, even if that means doing nothing more.
That sounds like invaluable peer support you are providing people with!
Thank you for the wise words of advice here. After much dithering, I emailed the Interim Provost last Friday. I named the tutors in question and gave a (hopefully) brief overview of what I experienced/what I felt they had done wrong. I tried to point out the College-wide failings (firstly, that welfare tutors are not screened for their own mental health issues before being given the post, and secondly, that welfare tutors were - at that time - given no training whatsoever). I had a very sensitively-written reply back from the Interim Provost on Tuesday, addressing my concerns for current and future students, and apologising for what I went through. So I feel numb but heard
20 years of BFF-dom
Hope the phone call with the priest goes well today!
Hope the phone call with the priest goes well today! Original post by laurawatt
20 years of BFF-dom Hope the phone call with the priest goes well today!
Hope the phone call with the priest goes well today! I know
I'm so old 
Thank you! I wasn't particularly verbal today but she did an admirable job of keeping the conversation going for my hour slot
DAY 885 - 6TH SEPTEMBER 2020
What I'm grateful for
Grateful that I'm "shaking" less today. Felt very shaky yday even though I wasn't visibly shaking
A random act of kindness I've done
Sent my mate A (who lives in India :bhangra: ) a bday card from our friendship group
It didn't arrive in time though
A random act of kindness someone has done for me
My sister sent me snacks
Things I did well
Not sure tbh
Something I could improve on
Not sleeping for, like, 14 hours and then waking up for the day but then having a nap 3 hours after waking up
What I've achieved
Made an Amazon list of potential bday presents for my mum
What I've done to look after my mental health
Comfort ate naan bread
Something I have to look forward to
Hopefully getting more PhD work done this week
Faith-related shiz
:jebus:
What I'm grateful for
Grateful that I'm "shaking" less today. Felt very shaky yday even though I wasn't visibly shaking
A random act of kindness I've done
Sent my mate A (who lives in India :bhangra: ) a bday card from our friendship group
It didn't arrive in time though
A random act of kindness someone has done for me
My sister sent me snacks
Things I did well
Not sure tbh
Something I could improve on
Not sleeping for, like, 14 hours and then waking up for the day but then having a nap 3 hours after waking up
What I've achieved
Made an Amazon list of potential bday presents for my mum
What I've done to look after my mental health
Comfort ate naan bread
Something I have to look forward to
Hopefully getting more PhD work done this week
Faith-related shiz
:jebus:
DAY 886 - 7TH SEPTEMBER 2020
What I'm grateful for
Pizza
A random act of kindness I've done
Helped my mum sort out dinner coz she was drowning in paperwork
A random act of kindness someone has done for me
My mum didn't have a go at me for having a mug cake
Things I did well
Found a cool job advert
Something I could improve on
Need to stop looking at jobs and focus on PhD
What I've achieved
Did some exercise
THE APOCALYPSE IS NIGH, PEEPS! 
What I've done to look after my mental health
Had a lie-in (due to insomnia)
Something I have to look forward to
Not sure
Faith-related shiz
Heard from an ordinand (trainee priest) friend today. Was really nice to hear about how he's progressing with his vocation. He's gonna make a great priest
What I'm grateful for
Pizza
A random act of kindness I've done
Helped my mum sort out dinner coz she was drowning in paperwork
A random act of kindness someone has done for me
My mum didn't have a go at me for having a mug cake
Things I did well
Found a cool job advert
Something I could improve on
Need to stop looking at jobs and focus on PhD
What I've achieved
Did some exercise
THE APOCALYPSE IS NIGH, PEEPS! What I've done to look after my mental health
Had a lie-in (due to insomnia)
Something I have to look forward to
Not sure
Faith-related shiz
Heard from an ordinand (trainee priest) friend today. Was really nice to hear about how he's progressing with his vocation. He's gonna make a great priest
DAY 887 - 8TH SEPTEMBER 2020
What I'm grateful for
A lazy day
A random act of kindness I've done
Don't think I've done anything today, whoops
A random act of kindness someone has done for me
My mum trimmed the flowers in my room coz she knows I'm a plant killer and won't do it myself
Things I did well
I was up and dressed before 1pm
Something I could improve on
Not over-ordering on Deliveroo
What I've achieved
I was out of bed by about 10am today
What I've done to look after my mental health
Ordered Chinese
Something I have to look forward to
Sleeping
Faith-related shiz
:jebus:
What I'm grateful for
A lazy day
A random act of kindness I've done
Don't think I've done anything today, whoops
A random act of kindness someone has done for me
My mum trimmed the flowers in my room coz she knows I'm a plant killer and won't do it myself
Things I did well
I was up and dressed before 1pm
Something I could improve on
Not over-ordering on Deliveroo
What I've achieved
I was out of bed by about 10am today
What I've done to look after my mental health
Ordered Chinese
Something I have to look forward to
Sleeping
Faith-related shiz
:jebus:
Forgot to say: today's main achievement has been pre-ordering Steps' new album 
They're going on tour next year as well (including at the O2 in London) but not sure I can justify the expense. Still dreaming that Idina Menzel may come to London again sometime soon, plus forked out a fair bit on Sister Act: The Musical tickets
They're going on tour next year as well (including at the O2 in London) but not sure I can justify the expense. Still dreaming that Idina Menzel may come to London again sometime soon, plus forked out a fair bit on Sister Act: The Musical tickets
DAY 888 - 12TH SEPTEMBER 2020
What I'm grateful for
My mum
A random act of kindness I've done
Picked up stuff my mum needed in Tesco
A random act of kindness someone has done for me
My mum didn't have a go at me for spending most of today in bed
Things I did well
Listened to a friend who is having a really tough time
Something I could improve on
Sleeping normal hours
What I've achieved
I didn't buy any snacks for myself from Tesco
What I've done to look after my mental health
I bought more perinaise #CheekyNandos
Something I have to look forward to
Perinaise and peri salt on my chips at dinner
Faith-related shiz
:jebus:
What I'm grateful for
My mum
A random act of kindness I've done
Picked up stuff my mum needed in Tesco
A random act of kindness someone has done for me
My mum didn't have a go at me for spending most of today in bed
Things I did well
Listened to a friend who is having a really tough time
Something I could improve on
Sleeping normal hours
What I've achieved
I didn't buy any snacks for myself from Tesco
What I've done to look after my mental health
I bought more perinaise
#CheekyNandosSomething I have to look forward to
Perinaise and peri salt on my chips at dinner
Faith-related shiz
:jebus:
DAY 889 - 13TH SEPTEMBER 2020
What I'm grateful for
Nights where I sleep properly
A random act of kindness I've done
Gave a good tip to the Thai restaurant where we had lunch. They were almost completely empty, which is unthinkable for them on a Sunday lunchtime pre-pandemic. Felt bad for them
A random act of kindness someone has done for me
My mum bought me ice cream
Things I did well
FINALLY getting my sisters to organise my mum's bday stuff
Something I could improve on
Not sending PhD supervisor hypomanic emails
What I've achieved
Bashed out 1000 words of PhD between 3am-4am last night
What I've done to look after my mental health
Tried to take today off from PhD stuff, to prevent hypomania (if it hasn't already started )
Something I have to look forward to
Celebrating my mum's bday on Thurs and Fri
Faith-related shiz
:jebus:
What I'm grateful for
Nights where I sleep properly
A random act of kindness I've done
Gave a good tip to the Thai restaurant where we had lunch. They were almost completely empty, which is unthinkable for them on a Sunday lunchtime pre-pandemic. Felt bad for them
A random act of kindness someone has done for me
My mum bought me ice cream
Things I did well
FINALLY getting my sisters to organise my mum's bday stuff
Something I could improve on
Not sending PhD supervisor hypomanic emails
What I've achieved
Bashed out 1000 words of PhD between 3am-4am last night
What I've done to look after my mental health
Tried to take today off from PhD stuff, to prevent hypomania (if it hasn't already started
) Something I have to look forward to
Celebrating my mum's bday on Thurs and Fri
Faith-related shiz
:jebus:
DAY 890 - 16TH SEPTEMBER 2020
What I'm grateful for
That there's nothing irreversibly wrong with my physical health
A random act of kindness I've done
Found a birthday card for my mum for tomorrow in my card stash cupboard. Dunno how of all the things we could forget to organise, it ended up being the card
A random act of kindness someone has done for me
My PhD supervisors have been hugely supportive over the past few days
Things I did well
I've decided to make French toast for my mum tomorrow for her bday brunch! Found a TLG-proof recipe
Something I could improve on
Sleep hygiene
What I've achieved
Nothing much but that's OK!
What I've done to look after my mental health
Listened to Steps' new single
Something I have to look forward to
Celebrating my mum's bday tomorrow
Faith-related shiz
Feeling a bit stuck atm. Really missing my former uni chaplain
What I'm grateful for
That there's nothing irreversibly wrong with my physical health
A random act of kindness I've done
Found a birthday card for my mum for tomorrow in my card stash cupboard. Dunno how of all the things we could forget to organise, it ended up being the card
A random act of kindness someone has done for me
My PhD supervisors have been hugely supportive over the past few days
Things I did well
I've decided to make French toast for my mum tomorrow for her bday brunch!
Found a TLG-proof recipe Something I could improve on
Sleep hygiene
What I've achieved
Nothing much but that's OK!
What I've done to look after my mental health
Listened to Steps' new single
Something I have to look forward to
Celebrating my mum's bday tomorrow
Faith-related shiz
Feeling a bit stuck atm. Really missing my former uni chaplain
DAY 891 - 20TH SEPTEMBER 2020
What I'm grateful for
Grateful for the opportunity to go outside. Didn't want to but think it did some good
A random act of kindness I've done
Bought lots of hand gels of varying sizes for my mum from Boots
A random act of kindness someone has done for me
My mum is making waffles for dinner
Things I did well
Got through my mum's bday celebrations OK
Something I could improve on
Doing uni work
What I've achieved
Not sure tbh
What I've done to look after my mental health
Taken things easy today. Plus I listened to a short homily (sermon) given by a friend of mine
Something I have to look forward to
Sleeping
Faith-related shiz
:jebus:
What I'm grateful for
Grateful for the opportunity to go outside. Didn't want to but think it did some good
A random act of kindness I've done
Bought lots of hand gels of varying sizes for my mum from Boots
A random act of kindness someone has done for me
My mum is making waffles for dinner
Things I did well
Got through my mum's bday celebrations OK
Something I could improve on
Doing uni work
What I've achieved
Not sure tbh
What I've done to look after my mental health
Taken things easy today. Plus I listened to a short homily (sermon) given by a friend of mine
Something I have to look forward to
Sleeping
Faith-related shiz
:jebus:
DAY 892 - 23RD SEPTEMBER 2020
What I'm grateful for
A very very long sleep last night
A random act of kindness I've done
Helped my mum out with stuff
A random act of kindness someone has done for me
My younger sister checked in on me
Things I did well
I haven't done it yet, but am planning on doing some self-care stuff for Infant TLG tonight. Been ignoring her for weeks and am kinda paying for that mental health-wise. Hoping dedicating some time to her will help us get onto a more even keel
Something I could improve on
Being less impatient with uni peeps
What I've achieved
Today marks exactly 2.5 years since mother figure H left my uni, never to be seen or heard from by me again
Feeling quite rough today as a result but on the plus side, I'm still here 2.5 years on, so that's good I guess
What I've done to look after my mental health
Put on my ABBA playlist
Something I have to look forward to
Chicken nuggets for dinner
Faith-related shiz
:jebus:
What I'm grateful for
A very very long sleep last night
A random act of kindness I've done
Helped my mum out with stuff
A random act of kindness someone has done for me
My younger sister checked in on me
Things I did well
I haven't done it yet, but am planning on doing some self-care stuff for Infant TLG tonight. Been ignoring her for weeks and am kinda paying for that mental health-wise. Hoping dedicating some time to her will help us get onto a more even keel
Something I could improve on
Being less impatient with uni peeps
What I've achieved
Today marks exactly 2.5 years since mother figure H left my uni, never to be seen or heard from by me again
Feeling quite rough today as a result but on the plus side, I'm still here 2.5 years on, so that's good I guess What I've done to look after my mental health
Put on my ABBA playlist
Something I have to look forward to
Chicken nuggets for dinner
Faith-related shiz
:jebus:
DAY 893 - 26TH SEPTEMBER 2020
What I'm grateful for
That the weather is warm enough to manage with a light spring jacket. Not a fan of cold, wintery weather
A random act of kindness I've done
Skyped some friends who are feeling down
A random act of kindness someone has done for me
My mum bought me one of my fave cakes from my fave tea shop
Things I did well
I got out of bed voluntarily before midday THE APOCALYPSE IS NIGH, PEEPS! 
Something I could improve on
Really need to do PhD work sometime this century
What I've achieved
Started a new blog for Persephone the Therapy Penguin
What I've done to look after my mental health
Put on my ABBA playlist again
Something I have to look forward to
Somehow finishing my first rough draft of this PhD chapter. It may have taken the whole summer/whole of Sept too, but the end is kinda in sight?
Faith-related shiz
:jebus:
What I'm grateful for
That the weather is warm enough to manage with a light spring jacket. Not a fan of cold, wintery weather
A random act of kindness I've done
Skyped some friends who are feeling down
A random act of kindness someone has done for me
My mum bought me one of my fave cakes from my fave tea shop
Things I did well
I got out of bed voluntarily before midday
THE APOCALYPSE IS NIGH, PEEPS! Something I could improve on
Really need to do PhD work sometime this century
What I've achieved
Started a new blog for Persephone the Therapy Penguin
What I've done to look after my mental health
Put on my ABBA playlist again
Something I have to look forward to
Somehow finishing my first rough draft of this PhD chapter. It may have taken the whole summer/whole of Sept too, but the end is kinda in sight?
Faith-related shiz
:jebus:
DAY 894 - 28TH SEPTEMBER 2020
What I'm grateful for
Bread and butter pudding
A random act of kindness I've done
Got my mum's shopping for her
A random act of kindness someone has done for me
Chatted with both my sisters (separately) today
Things I did well
I took my tablets almost on time
Something I could improve on
Not getting ripped off by the pharmacy
What I've achieved
Not much, but that's OK
What I've done to look after my mental health
Snacked a lot
Something I have to look forward to
Starting disability mentoring with my DSA mentor again Haven't spoken to her since mid-June, when term ended 
I'm actually quite proud that I managed to not contact her at all (she said I could get in touch if I need to, but I wanted to challenge myself )
Faith-related shiz
May have inadvertently had a text meltdown on the vicar who looks after me, so she's phoning me tomorrow afternoon
What I'm grateful for
Bread and butter pudding
A random act of kindness I've done
Got my mum's shopping for her
A random act of kindness someone has done for me
Chatted with both my sisters (separately) today
Things I did well
I took my tablets almost on time
Something I could improve on
Not getting ripped off by the pharmacy
What I've achieved
Not much, but that's OK
What I've done to look after my mental health
Snacked a lot
Something I have to look forward to
Starting disability mentoring with my DSA mentor again
Haven't spoken to her since mid-June, when term ended I'm actually quite proud that I managed to not contact her at all (she said I could get in touch if I need to, but I wanted to challenge myself ) Faith-related shiz
May have inadvertently had a text meltdown on the vicar who looks after me, so she's phoning me tomorrow afternoon
Hope you're doing okay.Original post by Pathway Hope you're doing okay.
Hope you're doing okay.Thank you!
Sorry I've been AWOL on you, struggling a bit emotionally atm 
Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd
Thank you! Sorry I've been AWOL on you, struggling a bit emotionally atm
Sorry I've been AWOL on you, struggling a bit emotionally atm Tbf me too. It's OK, I hope you know I care for you even if I'm being quiet and if you do need to talk, please WA or even drop call me.
You're not alone.Original post by Pathway
Tbf me too. It's OK, I hope you know I care for you even if I'm being quiet and if you do need to talk, please WA or even drop call me. You're not alone.
You're not alone.I do - and right back at you. I care about you too
DAY 895 - 2ND OCTOBER 2020
What I'm grateful for
Portable heaters, ngl
A random act of kindness I've done
Did the washing up
A random act of kindness someone has done for me
My mum made pork casserole. Also she told me to put the heating on coz she realised I was cold
Things I did well
I remembered to phone the friend I had promised to phone
Something I could improve on
Sleeping less
What I've achieved
I tidied my desk You can see the wood of it now
What I've done to look after my mental health
Stuck cards from friends (which had been strewn all over my desk) into my card scrapbook
Something I have to look forward to
More sleep
AND hopefully more dreams about Mr Colin Firth 
Faith-related shiz
:jebus:
What I'm grateful for
Portable heaters, ngl
A random act of kindness I've done
Did the washing up
A random act of kindness someone has done for me
My mum made pork casserole. Also she told me to put the heating on coz she realised I was cold
Things I did well
I remembered to phone the friend I had promised to phone
Something I could improve on
Sleeping less
What I've achieved
I tidied my desk
You can see the wood of it now What I've done to look after my mental health
Stuck cards from friends (which had been strewn all over my desk) into my card scrapbook
Something I have to look forward to
More sleep
AND hopefully more dreams about Mr Colin Firth Faith-related shiz
:jebus:
